The posts on this blog deal with common people who try to stand proud in front of their own conscience. The rest of the life's tale naturally follows from this point. It's intended to be a joy-maker, helping the reader to see the beauty underlying everyone and everything. Copyright © Sandeep Dahiya. All Rights Reserved for all posts on this blog. No part of this blog may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without permission in writing from the author of this blog.
About Me
- Sufi
- Hi, this is somebody who has taken the quieter by-lane to be happy. The hustle and bustle of the big, booming main street was too intimidating. Passing through the quieter by-lane I intend to reach a solitary path, laid out just for me, to reach my destiny, to be happy primarily, and enjoy the fruits of being happy. (www.sandeepdahiya.com)
Saturday, November 30, 2024
Monday, November 25, 2024
The richness of a simple mind
There is some manual task to be done.
Rashe Ram is my first option for anything requiring physical labor. I try my luck
to connect with him over his phone number. As expected the number is temporarily
out of service. He knows that he doesn’t need a phone much. Due to his honesty
in work he is much in demand, so the labor seekers would book his services by
launching a physical search and catching hold of him in person. And his secret
girlfriends also know where to find him whenever he is needed for his lover’s
duties, which is nothing more than a hurried plain mating even without having a
word. In any case he is a man of few words.
The work involves some repairs in the street
and we are gathered on the spot feeling not so good about not being able to
avail the services of the best worker. Then someone informs that Rashe was
recently picked up by the police for keeping fifteen little pouches of ganja.
We have just stopped talking about him and there comes Rashe Ram lumbering with
his usual carefree air, unconcerned about the big issues in life. He is much
hailed for his timely arrival.
He shyly denies my question about the
police episode. But when he sees that I’m serious about this quest he tells the
truth. ‘I had bought fifteen little pouches of ganja from Delhi for personal use.
The village police informer passed the information to the police. They picked
me up. Kept me there for couple of hours. They collected all the pouches and
took three thousand rupees to set me free.’ These are plain facts of his
arrest. Their significance in his life is limited to their literal meaning. His
is a mind unburdened of the polished maladies of overthinking, analysis and
psychological traumas born of such an inconsequential happening.
‘You don’t keep phone these days? I
tried but the number is out of service,’ I ask him. He has his tiny
non-smartphone with him. It’s a new number he tells me. The old number? I threw
away the chip in a nullah when the police were after me. We the clever people
think it proper to take his new number in order to avail his labor services
without delay in future. I ask my brother to note down his number because I
don’t have my phone with me. He also is enjoying a phone-free time which seems
a blessing, almost a vacation these days. Don’t we feel so relaxed when we step
out of the house without the one ton psychological weight of the phone? My
cousin brother is also having the same vacation. I ask the workers do they have
a pen, which was a foolish query because their pockets would have beedies, matchbox, tobacco or ganja—the
tools to beat the feeling of being disadvantaged in life by birth, the fate throwing
them into poverty right from the beginning. We seem to be at loss of words
about the daunting task regarding how to note down his number. With my amazing
creative skills I even think of writing it on the sand and then run home to
take my phone before some cattle either pees or defecates on my earthen
notebook.
‘Why don’t you just dial your number
from my phone?’ Rashe softly drools with his slurred, soft, noble giant’s
speech.
My software professional brother,
still carrying the classy fragrance of a recent official trip to a developed
country; my cousin brother carrying the high notes of confidence and youth
becoming of an enthusiastic entrepreneur; and me the man with a library of
books in the head—we have been caught on the wrong foot. Common sense seems to
be too exclusive for our educated, smart selves. Caught on such a wrong foot of
unawareness!
All three of us have an embarrassed
laugh. It’s very humbling. A basic dose of common sense is all that we need to
lead a happy life, to have a light mind unburdened of overthinking and hard-pressed
by weighty issues. Many villagers are straightaway dismissive about Rashe Ram
because he isn’t cunning and clever like the rest and this they interpret as
being a dumb person. But in his unburdened mind he carries enough common sense
to allow him a contended simple life.
The next day he is busy at the
assigned task. It involves clearing a big heap of bricks, boughs, plastic and
trash all jumbled together to form a nice century for reptiles and rodents. He
is working easefully but I’m worried for him because many snakes have been seen
around that place. I have already cautioned him multiple times about it but he
seems to carry on without minding my words too much. Then my over-concern
burdens his brain and he has to explain. ‘See, I have this stick with me.
Didn’t you see that each time I put my hands to pick up something, I first prod
the items with the stick so that the snake will crawl away,’ he slowly drawls.
It again is so-so humbling. In my eagerness to spot some snake I had completely
overlooked this simple man’s modest solution in dealing with the problem. Such
a simple solution for a risky task! In his place my educated mind would have
given me solutions like wearing knee-length jungle boots and gloves reaching
armpits to deal with the problem. I stand corrected like a little boy standing
in front of a stern headmaster.
The so-called common, simple, poor
people have huge common sense in their unburdened minds to help them wade
through the scores of daily challenges they have to face. I realize however
high and mighty be our knowledge, we miss on little nuggets of common sense.
But these are the little weapons in the hands of the common man to easily meet
the routine challenges of life.
Spinning the webs
The reality is dimensionless but it
has infinite potential for the generation of pseudo-realities. We have assumed
certain dimensions. And once we assume something—on the basis of our neural
networks—it’s already granted that we will generate a model to validate our
assumptions. Once we arrive at a conclusion, it isn’t something preexisting
absolute nugget that was there to be discovered. It has been generated. It is
an act of creation out of the pool of possibilities. It’s the manifestation of
the will to see something in a particular way. It’s the crop of the seeds that
we ourselves have sown with our effort and awareness. And what we generate is a
mere temporary phenomenon spinning around the unknown axis.
Saturday, November 23, 2024
Friday, November 22, 2024
The energetic gentlefolk of old times
Old Taus and Tais would pour out their hearts to me. I have been lucky to listen to their very personal tales, the exciting chronicles of their youth. Dozens of old people from the village shared very personal stuff with me. For the sanctity of their trust, I would keep their names secret and call them Tau A, Tau B, Tai C, etc. I don’t think that even if I mention them by names there would be any big scandal. These are routine things in the countryside in the lives of the farming community. But still from my own code of conduct I should keep the identities secret. Most of them are gone and a few survive almost like sages with that marvelous surrender and cool detachment. But it’s exciting to imagine that they were once warm-blooded with hormonal excitement. Further, you never know some semi-criminalized grandson of one of them might break the hand that writes about the histories of their forefathers.
I remember Tau A fondly retelling those glorious old days when society was simpler and the sense of brotherhood among clan members and extended families ruled supreme. ‘Those were real good days! Brothers shared a great bond. We tolerated very easily most of the things for which there would be bloodshed these days. See son, I would be out during winter nights irrigating the wheat crop and would return after midnight. And most of the time I saw my younger brother hurrying out of the quilt of my wife. I knew it. But I always pretended not to see it. Most of us pretended it and allowed the younger brothers to have good fun with our wives. Where would they go?’ he told it so easily in full flow without slightest inhibition.
I was pretty small then but I recall the episode pretty clearly. Tai B was telling the episode when intimacy was forced upon her by Tau C—good lord, was it the same Tau C who appeared so disciplined after joining an ashram during the old age. It was clearly a case of enforced intimacy but her hollow-cheeked laughter makes me feel that she had long forgiven Tau C if she carried any anger. ‘I was cutting fodder one noon. There wasn’t anyone around in the fields. He came very politely and asked me to help him tie his fodder bale. I followed him to the place where he indicated his fodder was lying. He kept saying a bit further into the furrows of tall Jowar. Then I found there was nothing to tie down. It was a ploy to untie…my cord. Once it started I thought there was no point in resisting. If it is so, then let it be! There were bigger issues for us to sort out than this. At least he wasn’t bad at it!’ she laughed nudging at the old ribs of another woman. All of them heartily laughed. ‘If it can be passed so casually, where would ‘rape’ fit in then?’ I wonder now. Well, it depends upon people’s own choice. It started without her consent but ended with her approval so much so that she compliments Tau C who is no more and must be feeling proud of his virility in the other world.
Tau D was too proud of his wee-wee. He would pretend to urinate when the young women passed. Getting tongue-lashed was very normal for him. But then he ran out of luck and got more than a tongue-lashing. A banjara woman—an audacious gypsy woman—hit the item of his pride with a mulberry switch. He nearly fainted. His flashing escapades withdrew. Maybe the concerned anatomical item withdrew into its shell after the strike.
Tai E was very liberal in the matters of intimacy and explored the groins of many farmers during her prime. Now all of them were drooping with age and fragile bones. I remember her as a petite woman. She wasn’t hesitant about publicly discussing how much milking she had performed on a particular bull. We remember her doing her duties till the far end of her life as she would unabashedly visit an apish Tau F who seemed to be still active in his old age.
Tai G was more comfortable without her skirt than with it on. So we need not repeat the obvious. She was known for her rivalry with Tai E for the much-in-demand Tau F. He must have been a good bull for milking because everyone agreed that he was still active in his eighties.
Tau H had lost his wife many years back and thus carried a big load of lust in his bulky body. In his late seventies he lunged at a chance to vent out all his pent-up lust. A middle aged banjara woman was roaming in the streets asking fodder for their cattle. It was a hot noon. Tau H got her into the barn on the pretext of giving her fodder. He was successful in his mission. But he turned a miser at the time of payment. He had promised her a big bale of fodder and thought of duping her by giving just a little amount of wheat husk. I think he underestimated the audacity of these gypsy women. There she was shouting expletives at the top of her voice. The little amount of fodder was put in the street and her top-voiced denouement of Tau H went sashaying across hot air. The people came out of their houses. ‘See-see, this is what this shameless oldie has given me! Just a fistful of fodder for all that devilish **** he gave me!’ she was shouting. She was putting up her stick to notify the measurement of Tau H’s endowment. So everyone came to know how much Tau H measured and what he had done to that woman. ‘He is a cheater!’ she declared.
The first and the last lady don of the entire area from our village, Tai I, can fill up entire chronicles full of her sex trafficking, robberies, charity, bride abduction, armed squads and much-much more. She ruled the prime land of Jat patriarchy during the thirties to the sixties of the last century. Those who were born after her demise still know her name. So that gives the idea of her popularity. I tried to gather material on her from the old men in the village. But they were all dismissive about her. It’s understandable because she had hit very hard on their wee-wee at a time when a woman was considered even lower than a buffalo in a farmer’s house. If I get enough material I plan to write a book on her sometime. Regarding intimacies, it’s understandable that she was far-far advanced than her times.
Tai J turned out to be a pioneer in the
art of intimacy. She was reputed to be very beautiful in her youth and carried
faded traces of that charm even in her seventies. One of my classmates from the
village school was eying her granddaughter. He was around fifteen at that time.
He started visiting Tai J’s house
quite regularly. Tai J,
experienced with age and full of wisdom, smelt the hormonal storm going inside
the teenager for her granddaughter. As a wise matriarch she channelized the
direction of the storm towards herself. The boy was expertly seduced and looked
very happy during those days. Tai J looked even happier on having a lover of her grandson’s
age. I came to know about the reason of their happiness when only the old
neighborhood dog and me were left out of its knowledge. He shared the
information a few years back only. ‘You didn’t know? I thought only the cattle,
dogs and cats were out of the loop of this open-source knowledge!’ he wondered
when I shared that I never had any clue to this. Tai J carried the most contended
smile among all the elderly women of her generation. In fact, I interpreted it
as the smile of a sage. Now I know the worldly cause of her saintly smile. God
must have been very creative in fabricating such an interesting world.
Wednesday, November 20, 2024
The chutney of unhappiness
Harender isn’t too happy with life. There isn’t anything special about it. Most of us aren’t. But we need to consider a few facts. He is reasonably fit for his late forties. He has children, wife, a steady source of income. About income you may very well generate an idea that he drives a car worth 1.5 crore rupees. It’s a black Volvo behemoth. Then what makes his life almost depressive quite frequently?
He has two sons. The elder son’s height is the missing link in a scheme that would have made him a happy father. The young man is five feet in height. He is in good health but seeing him looking up to people gives the father a lot of pain. Harender thinks that this world is for tall people. I think he has forgotten about his achievement. Standing at 5’4” he has built a real estate business that gives him good money. He has forgotten that height was hardly the matter when he built up his business from scratch.
I think we humans are habituated to pain. We just devise some reason to feel discontentment with life. He knows that nothing can be done about his son’s height at this stage. But the worried father in him has taller plans for his short son. ‘The bride has to be minimum 5’5”!’ he says emphatically. So carrying his pain in his big car he is looking for a tall bride for his short son to ensure that his grandchildren would be very tall. I hope destiny gives him joy and they have a very tall bride in the family to undo the gloom.
The candy floss of joy
All of us are gifted. All of us are blessed. All of us are extraordinary. All of us are adorable to mother existence. With one condition attached—all of us are unique in all these blessings. But our senses are outer bound. We are looking at reality through what we see outside of us. That makes us forget all our unique gifts and blessings as individuals.
Most of our pain and suffering is born of the comparison of the self with others. We find ourselves in a hostile environment, surrounded by the superior or inferior competitors. Long before we realize, we are part of the rat race that is forever taking us away from the incomparable self. The comparisons widen as we move further on. Judgments—both for the self and others—creep in. We are then in a perceptibly hostile environment. And how will one feel at ease by staying in an apparently hostile environment? There is always threat, fear or anxiety. We are always on our toes.
I know that we have to be part of the rat race to meet the basic necessities of life. We can do it if we always remember that all these are the means to an end. The end is one’s own self. So stay in the rat race but irrespective of the results always remember that you are unique. You are gifted, blessed and extraordinary. The moment we compare ourselves with others this blessed feeling vanishes. We have to practice to feel blessed, loved, gifted and extraordinary. Just telling the self all this on a regular basis will be sufficient.



























































