The village of our childhood

 

When we were growing up, the village had plenty of bullock carts. Cattle, buffalo and bulls still pulled the cart of farming. Tractors had just started to come onto the scene. Carts, driven by male buffalos and bulls, had their unique means of shifting gears to increase the speed. Imagine the farmer and the bull both falling into a lethargy, the carter almost dozing with sleep and the bull going very slowly in the rut of the track while chewing cud. Fully relaxed. Then the farmer suddenly realized the passivity. Then he would shift gears. It involved holding the cart-puller’s tail, giving it a jerk, simultaneously his heel hitting the bull’s balls, and the tongue giving a loud clucking sound. All done in perfect synchronism. The bull would be jolted out of its laziness.

So we would imitate clucking our tongues like seasoned farmers. In fact we had tongue-clucking competitions. The atmosphere would resound with clucking sounds. Some chaps would cluck their tongues so loudly that even the bulls tethered in the barns got startled.

My brother took a fancy to be the clucking champion in the village. His practice session would cross over into late evenings when Father arrived from office. The sound has a vehement, egging-on vibes. And who won’t be egged on after a day at the office followed by a commute in a crowded train from Delhi to the nearby town and then a ride in some rag-tag three wheeler plying on the potholed road? So Father reprimanded him very severely after a week. ‘You know what, your tongue will get a fracture with so much striking like flint against your palate!’ Father further admonished. ‘I saw a guy with a fractured tongue. He cannot speak now.’ So my brother had to abandon his practice to become the village clucking champion.

Two-mouthed snake

 

During our childhood there were lots of free sands for the harmless red sand boa (RSB) to lie lazily and be found by the excited, scared eyes of the children. We called it ‘do muh wala saanp’. The village myth went that it had mouths at both ends, that it never bit but if it did on a Tuesday then nobody would survive. The gutsy boys would tentatively hold it in their hands and the chicken hearted like yours truly would stare from a distance.

Then the times changed. The sand was lost. The red sand boas turned rare. Then as per the growing economy even the RSB got an economic tag. It was considered lucky now—maybe due to its rarity. The new myth went that it sells for lakhs of rupees, that rich corporate houses kept it as a lucky charm. So now when a RSB surfaced at a house in the locality, and the unsuspecting children put it in a bucket and left it outside the village, the news busted and the entire locality went searching among the bushes for the big prize. Luckily the RSB had crawled to safety in the meantime. The children were severally reprimanded for harming the family’s economic interests.

A stormy afternoon

 

There was a squall in the afternoon, a powerful windy rain-lashing by the weather gods. And the small creamy white butterflies that were flitting around on a relatively cooler day faced what is most expected from life—a crisis. They struggled through the beating rain. The strong wind made it seem like a flirtatious dance with death. The branches shook angrily as if saying, ‘No, not here!’ as the butterflies approached them for shelter. And once a butterfly landed on a branch, it swayed and shook so violently, catapulting the hapless butterfly again into the squalling throbs of life. The rainstorm was pretty powerful and lasted for half an hour.

It was a little group  of butterflies and I don’t think many of them survived. Most of them must have perished. But how many butterflies get a chance to try their wings, beautiful patterns and colors against a storm? And some chance survivor would see the real beauty of the next dawn and flit around as a living memorial for all of them.

The next morning is a foggy one. It’s real fog with the temperature dipping as low as fifteen degrees. It’s unbelievable for this point of the season in the burning north Indian plains. Nature’s catapults!

The landowners

 

Owning land has been a hallmark of reputation and prestige in the countryside society. So the farmers in soiled, stitched clothes, weathered faces, callused hands would try to receive some respect by exaggerating the acreage of land owned by them while chatting with strangers. One old Tau from the village got a tiny jab at his prestige when he lost to an unknown farmer he met at the town. ‘How much land do you own?’ the other farmer asked. ‘Well, around twenty acres I reckon,’ the Tau from our village replied while using the mathematics of doubling the actual figure. ‘And how much do you possess?’ our Tau asked. ‘At least double of yours,’ the other farmer scored a clean win with a glint of pride in his eyes. ‘Well, even I had that much but just that you happened to ask it first,’ our Tau sighed and congratulated him on the victory. As a reward, in his capacity as a junior land-owning farmer, the Tau from our village filled the chillum and offered the first draught at the hookah pipe to the other, a mark of respect for the senior more respected farmers.

Summer nights in the villages of past

 

During our childhood, the village was far smaller. The houses were small with plenty of space around. The electricity would continue playing hide and seek. During the summers we would sleep in the open on charpoys. The street dogs got a night-long stringed roof over them as they slept under the charpoys. But then you can’t just sleep at night, especially if you happen to be a canine species. Maybe they felt playful during the night and the chappals and jutis would be found missing in the morning. These were the favorite toys of the dogs.

It was a usual sight to find someone searching for his missing footwear in the morning. The lucky ones would find the item still somehow usable even after very serious canine attempts to decapitate it. But humans are one step ahead of the rest of the species on this little planet. They are born to go seeking solutions. The habit is so chronic that when all the solutions for the time have been found, they create fresh problems in order to have the satisfaction of seeking new solutions.

We also had our solutions in this regard. Our slippers, chappals and jutis turned into pillows. We tucked them under the durries and bed sheet and rested our head on them to avoid a situation of beginning the day with finding the solution to the puzzle of missing footwear. A short-sighted solution, like most of our solutions are, because it would surely give cervical problem to the elderly in the medium term.

Summer shades in the countryside

 

Nevaan’s birthday falls in the last week of April. Even the mornings look tired due to the heat. And the charmless air almost guilty over the village. Then a triumphant sound creeps across the sullen sky. Six sarus cranes, three pairs, three husbands and three wives, announce their flight path over the village. They go in a line, in a slightly curving arc of faith. I reckon they extended their stay in the plains by three weeks or so. Places have a tendency to turn homes, they have their own pull, and develop a nostalgia before we realize. But then the heat here will almost scorch their wings. So they have to leave. The manner of their call and the conscious arrangement show that they are up for a journey to spend the summers in the Himalayas among forests, valleys and lakes.

They hold the baton of grace, faithfulness, unconditional love and marital fidelity in a world where love is getting brittle day by day, thinning like air, vaporize like water from the desert sands and fall like pale, dead autumn leaves. Their call carry excitement about starting on a new journey. And for those who might care to listen, it’s a full-of-love, best-wishing goodbye. Happy be thy journey and return safe for your winter stay!

The crane spirit is for elegance, rest and pause. They are married for life and never allow their love to go stale. They keep the flicker alive through beautiful courting displays, dancing, calling, bending necks. It’s a lovely mating dance. For matrimonial harmony, both sexes take up responsibilities in building nests and rearing the kids. A crane couple involves two happy soulmates seeped in their little world. Both of them happily undertake long risky journeys over mountains, deserts and forests. I really love the fact that they are the tallest flying birds because the sarus stands almost six feet tall.

The rich people may have the ACs to deal with the heat. But the poor people have to go out in the burning heat to earn a living. However, sometimes mother nature does them a favor. The western disturbances work as a mass atmospheric cooler for the burning north Indian plains. They bring down the temperature by a few degrees through cloudy skies, sporadic rains, scattered hailstorms and cool winds. The sun that could have burned the poor man’s skin turns a bit kinder. But then the rains and hailstorms destroy wheat and mustard crops as well. It being the harvesting season. It’s never a win-win situation for all of us. Mother nature is helpless in this.

The trees know the implications of climate change. The trees in my little garden have been dropping their burden, fearing a famine, like the crew on a boat flooded with water throws away its cargo. Every gust of wind brings down showers of rustling dead leaves. The trees stand bare, with open declaration, ‘See, we don’t have anything left now.’ Only the guava tree is as green as before. The flowers have vanished. Only peregrina has its red clusters of little flowers where the honeybees hover around in competition with a few butterflies and the purple sunbird couple to get the still left out nectar. It’s like various types of African animals gathering around a little mossy puddle of water at the peak of the dry season.

The nomadic chain has been broken, its pieces flying apart, by the crude hammer of modernity. The big caravans are gone, just like the joint families broken up to form tiny nuclear families with their bigger-than-ever woes and pains. The long lines of banjara carts slowly lurching along the roads and dusty paths are gone. Now we have a customized motorized tricycle with a bike torso and an open carrier body pulled at the back. The banjara riding the vehicle and his wife, children and provisions heaped at the back, going a bit more speedily, but clueless as to what to do, how to do, how to fit in a world that has changed beyond their imagination. One needs roots to survive in a hurrying world, otherwise it will shake you like a furious storm. They now seem to look for a suitable point to pitch the tent forever. And this banjara woman sat on a desert cooler in the mechanized tricycle’s cargo hold. Of course, you need to stay cool to beat the heat.

The Naxalites blew up a police vehicle in Dantewada forest of Chhattisgarh. Eleven soldiers, including the civilian driver of the rented mini-bus, died in the explosion. Another driver, driving the rented Scorpio SUV, can pay thanks to his tobacco-chewing habit for survival in the incident. Actually his vehicle was in the front and was on the way to run over the IED implanted on the road. But a split second decision to take a pinch of tobacco, thus slowing down, allowing the mini-van to overtake him and meet death instead of his vehicle, gave him and others in the vehicle a lease of life. Well, he and the jawans in his vehicle were lucky, just like those in the mini-van were unlucky in overtaking.

Barsana Holi

 

Those were the days when I still felt young enough to experiment with life. Barsana Holi is very popular as we all know. A friend arrived with his car and proposed a visit to enjoy the famed Holi at Radha Rani’s village. I agreed to the plan. Free offers are a big weakness with we Indians. The Holi was nice and colorful as can be expected. The revelers were dancing in the pillared open-air pavilion of Radha Rani temple standing on a rocky hill overlooking the sleepy village doused in a riot of colors.

A couple of trans-genders, elegantly decked up in a damsel’s sixteen-shringaar (maybe they tried to look like apsaras and seemed to succeed about one quarter in the mission), were dancing with lots of verve around their slim hips. They locked their fingers into ours and had a nice swirl dance. Then they sweetly proposed that we should stay overnight. We said a firm NO which they accepted gracefully. But then a middle-aged well-fed roundly built Pandit smartly filled the vacuum. He nicely coupled with one of them and danced a sensuous, colorful dance of celebration and desires. After the moves as their heads came near I heard him muttering the phrases of copulating proposal which his dancing partner happily accepted.

You feel you have a right to take bhang on Holi. Totally new to the experience, I gulped down a full ball of bhang. My mischievous friend fed me sweet sugar-drenched halwa after that. They say that the bhang’s effect gets multiplied after taking sweets. Soon I find myself in a dreamy, jerking world. I start explaining to him the difference between the languorous liquor nasha and the one resulting from bhang.

‘Liquor gives you a slowly rising and ebbing high. A kind of gentle wave builds up that takes you in its pleasant undulations. You feel slow undulations, an evenly slowed time, a kind of even and leveled forgetfulness, a type of gentle plateau. Its graphical presentation would be evenly poised wavy patterns that go onto flatten, their crests coming down and reach the horizontal line as you pass out,’ I tell him. ‘Bhang on the other hand gives it in jerks. Not waves but pointed ups and downs like on an ECG graph. You will have a straight line and then it will suddenly fluctuate to accelerate out of proportion. Suppose you are sitting in the passenger seat of a vehicle plying on the road and you see a car coming from the front. One time you will see it small and drawn back almost a kilometer and then suddenly it would flash big right in front. In a flashy jerk,’ I elaborated.

I was convinced of the validity of my philosophical analysis of the difference. I was intellectualizing and laughing. Then the ill-famed effects of bhang surfaced. I felt my heart pounding in my chest. I heard hammers striking and tonking in my head. I was sure that it was just moments away from exploding. I was scared that the heart would come out bursting through the chest. All celebratory color went off my face. A pre-death feeling, I was sure!

‘I’m going to die! And I mean it!’ I declared to my friend. He was out of his wits. ‘Should I take you to a hospital?’ he said, his body shaking with fear. But I didn’t want to die as a bhang-drunk man on a hospital bed. ‘Take me to my place. I’ll die in my room. Let them think I died in sleep,’ I was bothered about my clean-boy image and thought of leaving with a clean reputation, not that of a substance-abused soul.

Poor guy, totally out of wits, he sped at top speed, completely sweat-laden with anxiety and panic. All along the way I kept reminding him that I won’t survive and death was certain. It was crazily scary and death seemed so near. Thankfully I didn’t cry otherwise it would have robbed me of reputation in his eyes for being a death-scared sissy. The clocks of death were tickling and thumping in my brain and the chest. The head felt like it will blast and scatter into hundred pieces. I would count the experience as staring at death from very close quarters.

We reached my place in the wee hours. My head was exploding with pain. I devised a nice mechanism of standing near a wall and slowly bump my head to rattle the tight claws of pain in the skull. The poor guy nearly fainted thinking that he was witnessing my death pangs. Then I vomited. The bitterest and the vulgar most thing I have ever puked in my life. I think I threw out death itself from my portals. Slowly the dark angels of death departed empty handed. I fell asleep.

When I woke up it was the most beautiful of a sunny day. The birds, the fresh air, the trees, and most importantly my breathing, my life! What else you need?! Why the hell we complain as long as we are breathing?! It felt the biggest blessing to be just alive on a lovely spring day. It felt like I will never have any grudges anymore in life.

The art of surrender

 

Two events, roughly 125 years apart, bear witness to the validity of the principle of surrender, of unqualified, ageless surrender to be precise. It bears fruits. The first instance dates back to 1890s. Of all the so-called low caste communities, dhanaks are known to be the least submissive to the dominant landholding castes. They are dark-skinned proud natives who have the guts and foul words to rattle the eardrums. They also possess enough stick-wielding prowess to match the previous two traits. They don’t carry social power and standing, but they hold their head quite high and can definitely quarrel when faced with casteist slur.

In the 1890s, Magni was a popular outlaw from their community. He and his group of vagabonds robbed the travellers crossing the scrub forest around the village at night. Confident of his dark-time profession, he carried extra air in his chest during the day. But then pride hath a fall.

A farmer from the village bought a beautiful mare from a fair. The majestic animal instantly caught Magni’s fancy. The barn was within the almost fortified compound of the haveli. It was impossible to enter once the main big copper-spiked wooden door closed for the night. The walls of lakhori bricks worked in lime were too strong to be broken except by hours of hammering.

Magni but had a better plan than launching a loud attack on the walls. He sneaked into the haveli around twilight and hid himself in an upper wall alcove used for storing dung-cakes and farm equipment. There he sat hidden casting greedy looks at the mare below. Unluckily someone saw him. Very silently a group of rotund farmers wielding lathis and pharsas gathered, closed the gate and peacefully stood below the hiding place. There comes down Magni with the highest probability of being lynched to death.

However, Magni was a smart guy also. He knew humility and surrender has its value. They saw him coming down with his buffalo leather juti held in his mouth as the humblest mark of surrender. It qualifies as the highest degree of self-court-marshal. There he goes, keeping his eyes on the ground, shoulder slouched to a big degree, his muddy leather footwear in his mouth, walking with the warm and majestic ease of ceasefire and surrender. Such unqualified surrender deserves consideration even among the work-brute farmers. They let him pass. But after this episode he had to keep a little less air in his chest as he walked in the village streets.

The second incident dates back a few years. There was a huge bully dog in the village. A misuser of the canine power, I would say. It was so dismissive of the lesser canine mortals. It would intimidate women and children, ate the smaller dogs’ chapattis and stole their girlfriends by force. All in all, it wasn’t popular neither among the humans nor the canine folks of the village. It had been to our yard as well. In fact it toppled over the pots containing dalia poultice for the newly calved buffalo. We ran after it but it would escape.

Then one fine day, on yet other mission of mischief, it got trapped because it couldn’t escape in time. We were successful in closing the yard gate before it could escape. Within minutes a few stick-yielding brats arrived to help us settle the score. They had their own grudges against the dog bully. So half a dozen nice sticks waited to dispense justice. Ours is a society that believes in justice, especially if we are in the authority or position to bring it about.

Had the dog growled or reacted in some angry way meaning a fight back it would surely have meant getting lynched to death. Had it yelped in piteous pleading tones, it would have meant a few severe, maybe, bone-breaking strikes. But it was a clever dog, maybe even wise, as smart as Magni was. Like him it knew the value of utmost unqualified surrender. It sat on the ground, brought out its tongue in supplication and hideous abjection and gave such a marvelous show of shivering that the attacking party was left spellbound, almost hypnotized by the show of perfect surrender.

I think had it shivered just a bit more, we would have heard its skeleton creaking and clanking. We were mesmerized. We forgot that we had sticks in our hands. We saw the waters of his surrender dribbling out from under him. He performed the surrendering feat for full five minutes. Yours truly having some poetic bent of mind or rather heart, became the first one to accept the terms of surrender and even the rough farmers agreed.

The surrender papers presented such a big victory that it wasn’t possible to ignore them. I opened the gate. There it went with its tail jutted against its balls, tongue out and body shivering. A slow march to defeat it was. I hope it wasn’t Magni repeating his surrender in a canine avatar.

March musings

 

The month of March. Earlier we had spring in March. Now it has been relegated to just the last week of February. However, just like many of the customs that we keep following out of habit, I feel better by taking this second week of March as the spring season even though the sun is already hot enough to hit you with its rays right in the mornings.

The afternoon sun is golden yellow, showering its riot of warmth over the ripening wheat crop-heads. You can actually feel the green fading into the littlest traces of gold. The heat is building up to lead us to the harvest season. The nights however are dewy and cool and it nurtures ageratum flowers. These wild flowers have many interesting names—floss-flower, blue milk, blue weed, pussy foot and Mexican paintbrush. These wild blossoms help me keep my belief in the spring season. There are countless light purple and bluish fluffy flowers by the sides of the field-paths, foot tracks, channel bunds and the canal embankments. They have blossomed so profusely—over the thin lines of wild tracks and field divides, as if nature, taking a clue from the mankind’s intense agriculture, has done its best to utilize the thin ribbons of uncultivated land for its unwanted weeds to thrive among the well-manicured lawns of monoculture crop patterns.

They are said to attract butterflies. I hope there will be butterflies soon. There are four red semal or silk cotton trees. After the winter’s assault they are leafless with bare ashen branches at the upper end of a long straight robust silvery trunk bearing a light canopy. But they have luscious dollops of beauty to make up for their shorn-sheep look. These are big red vibrant five-petaled flowers, facing the sky upwards, receiving the grace of open skies and sunshine. They drop with a plop and then the ants have a feast. It’s also a feast for a few purple sunbird couples, bees and some odd barbet that may have delayed its flight back to the lower Himalayan hills with the passing of winter.

On one of the silk cotton trees, three parrots are having a dining gossip. Some bee-eaters are enjoying the taste of the bees hovering around the juicy big flowers. And around these solitary beacons of beauty, the long rows of bluish floss flowers are indeed still holding the banner of spring and avoid an eventuality when the spring will be an extinct season altogether.

There are a few mango trees. These are laden with inflorescence called panicles at the shoot terminals. These countless pale yellow clusters have a fragrance of procreation. So many will drizzle down with gutsy summer winds but still the tree will be left with enough for our taste and the survival of its species. During Father’s time, when they grazed cattle in the scrub forest—most of this area wasn’t tilled at that time—there were so many mango trees along the canals that they could afford to just see the mangoes come floating downstream and eat whenever they liked. Now I see just five-six mango trees in the area. Father told me there were plenty of wolves, jackals and even hyenas in the scrub forest around the village during their childhood times. And now we plough every square inch of land with a pin-pointed precision. So the wilderness is squeezed tight across the canal embankments, field channel bunds, field divides and path-sides. Here I have seen the area’s top predator, a majestic jungle cat that looks very lonely as it runs for cover on my approach. Then there are a few cobras and some jackals. Well, that’s better than no wildlife at all. This is what I consider to be my forest, stretched like narrow ribbons. I walk along these, cherishing what is left of the spring.

High in the branches of the eucalypts trees, I can see cream-colored fluffy little flowers. They spread a faint fragrance of the spring. All along the narrow paths, where the mankind is yet to arrive with pick axe, shovel and spade to turn the soil into some more productive use, there are rows of hemp plants. It has become a ubiquitous weed as if mother nature is offering her spring-time bhang lassi to make us less serious and more prone to merrymaking.

A honeybee with its one million neurons in its brain is happy with the few odd semal flowers. I, on the other hand, with my hundred billion complexities of neurons in my brain feel the loss and pain as well. I know that most of the people are running in the mad race of material progress. They are also Me. I share their fears and phobias because at the level of genome I’m 99.6 percent similar to someone else. With my 0.4 percent of genomic variance, defining my poetic individualities, I roam around in the countryside chronicling what still survives in the background of all that has vanished. It gives nostalgic pain; but it gives joy as well, like these long rows of floss flowers do. I know I’m an assemblage of genetic instructions coded in the DNA sequence; a reflection of genetically imprinted memories in my cells where each cell out of the billions contains 25,000 genes to propel my system of agonies and ecstasies. A tiny memorial bundle of love, agonies and ecstasies, here I walk bracing my fingers against the wild rows of floss flowers which line up to greet me because I recognize and accept that the spring season is still there.

An old farmer

 

Tau Hoshiyar Singh is nearly hundred and almost blind. Still he is smart and calculating enough to find his way using the bigger landmarks still visible to him and go for walks without tumbling even once. Sadly, he has met a tragedy at the far end of his honest, hard-worked farmer life. He lost his eldest son, Randhir (in his late sixties). Randhir was a very close friend of mine and a genuine well-wisher. So it’s a big loss to me as well.

I’m sitting with Tau (uncle) in his little room, he lying on his charpoy and me on a chair by his side. Irrespective of age, a parent would always feel the pain of losing his/her children. A slight tremor in his voice makes me feel the pain inside him, but otherwise he is as much composed like always, in full acceptance of life. His faith in God is as firm as usual. In my limited experience, I find him one of the rarest people who have such firm, rock-strong faith in the almighty even without going to a temple or worshipping a deity. I have never seen him entering a temple in my life, never performing a ritual, or going on a pilgrimage. But when I talk to him about God, he takes the name of God with such reverence and hundred percent confidence and honesty as to make him a highly spiritual person. And why won’t it be? After all, he has produced crops by irrigating them with his sweat, nurturing them with the nutrients of honesty and integrity. Nobody can point out that he committed even a single mistake that hurt someone’s interests. Godliness dawns in such people of its own. They are spirituality in practice, naturally, by default.

Whenever I meet him I joke that he can hardly see and uses his experience and smart brain to cross the streets and make others believe that he is still able to see and present right there in the race of life. And he always protests that he can ‘see’. So whenever I see him, I stand in front of him, change my voice and ask him to recognize me. Of course he fails to recognize me. When I laugh that see didn’t I tell you that you can see far less than you claim, he would slowly, dismissively say, ‘I had seen you clearly but I forgot your name because my memory is somewhat affected now.’ It means Tau takes the importance of eyes far more than the mind.

So in a light-hearted manner even now I’m prodding at his soft-spot regarding his eyesight. Then Tau is irritated a bit and lowers his guard. He then gives me a clue as to why he is trying to protect the honor of his eyes. ‘My right eye is almost gone. I can see only bigger things hazily with my left eye. So this left eye gives me a slight idea of the world around and allows me to walk. But all that adang-dhadang (honky dory) stuff is visible to my blind right eye,’ Tau tells me. I get straightened up with interest. I know Tau has entered the talk of the paranormal world even though he hardly believes in it. ‘I see much ulta-pulta with this blind eye. Like many people coming and going through the wall, appearing over the ceiling, someone going to the barn to get fodder. They aren’t scary in any sense. All of them well behaved. And always in clothes. The women also hold purdah over their face. Earlier I used to get curious about them. But now I don’t even think about them. They keep doing their business,’ Tau tells me with total indifference.

Well, his age seems to have given him extra-sensory perception. He surely sees disembodied souls floating around. After exiting the body, the individual consciousness still retains two elements out of the five. These are air and ether. So the disembodied souls float around with their two elements, carrying the predominant tendencies and inclinations available in their five-element body before death. Time trapped, they say, they float around to somehow fulfill the karmic balance before taking a body again. They are mere bubbles of air and ether floating around, looking at the living humans with jealousy for having a body and being able to carry out so many things. While in their endeavor to do something, they can just float around and sometimes interfere with the weakened energy systems in certain individuals. But what will they do to a robust farmer like Tau? He is very much comfortable to see them as companions during the lonely nights in his little room.

But isn’t this interesting that old Tau sees entities with his blind eye? By the way, he doesn’t believe in ghosts. And what will ghosts do to someone who doesn’t even believe in them. Tau has put all his belief in one super-entity—God. And that too without having to go to a temple, without performing rituals, or going on pilgrimages. He has established it—his faith—right there with a firm farmer’s foot. And the ghosts play around him on lonely nights.

‘You are lucky Tau in that you get a free movie watching with your blind eye,’ I laughed. ‘Hmm!’ he intoned again pretty dismissively. 

A drop of love on my table

 

The houseflies go gloatingly nibbling at your peace. You are helpless and watch wrathfully, nursing animosity. To rub salt on your wounds they land on your face, the representative of your worldly identity. That seems like vandalizing the holy altar of your existence by stomping their dirty feet on your skin. You turn taut with attention; muster up all determination to be at your quickest best. Then you take a ferocious swipe. You hurl all agility stored in your cells. But the houseflies are always quicker than the best of your shots. They escape unharmed. In fact you have a high risk of pulling some muscle due to the sudden jerk to your limbs.

They doze past your swatting newspaper or any other weapon you have at hand. They buzz away with elegant novelty in the art of escaping. And with a sneering, bantering buzz again land on your skin, to itch your frustration again. This behavior is in close proximity with making a mockery of your sense of being a human, the supreme species on the earth. Over a period of time, you settle for mild reconciliation and finally sign armistice from your side.

Out of the thousands of strikes and swipes, effected with crouching hate and anger, I have hardly bruised even a wing in my confrontation with the houseflies. But this day it was a golden chance to strike with ravenous glee and kill two foes in one little strike, and undo all the humiliating hops of yore. But there are moments when such an act would sound full of revulsion and, more seriously, dishonorable.

A housefly pair is making love on my table. The fiery flakes of my revengeful self turn to cool showers of curiosity. I’m stopped from sledge-hammering this stupefying dream of these two tiny insects. At this tiny point in space-time fabric, a little episode of sensuous and voluptuous frequencies is unfolding with surrendering grace. I’m reading my morning newspaper. I turn pages. I move. I shift, sigh, yawn and finally hum an uncouth Haryanvi ragini about a farmer’s love, which is basically an animalistic lust. I’m gloating over them like a shameless peeping tom. They are just a couple of feet away. They are oblivious to any kind of danger today. Aha, love’s animated, flattering tones! All the force of fear and survival now focused on giving a pleasurable crescendo—to heave their species onwards from their end. I take my illegal prying into their private matter even further and start taking their pictures. My mobile is just inches away from them. It seems a bold couple. They aren’t shy of getting filmed in their moments of deep intimacy.

Initiated by the male by striking or jumping into the female (like a typical male of any other species), their lovemaking can last 30-120 minutes. Well, it can give a big complex to most of we humans. Mating comes quite naturally to most of the species on the earth. But to the human mind it comes as a complex ritual. The male houseflies use pheromones (produced by the females) to detect a female by colliding with them mid-air or ground striking. The drone tries to force open her wings. If she accepts his advances, she vibrates her wings to make a buzzing sound. Copulation begins, as it does now on my table. They must have had a very heavy breakfast prior to this as fly-mating takes a lot of energy and they need their bellies full before the ritual of procreation.

The drone fertilizes the female eggs. She then lays eggs in a filthy, warm, moist place. From my table she will go and fly to lay eggs on feces and filth a day after. The eggs will take a day to hatch. The larvae (maggots) will bury in filth and an adult fly will emerge from the pupa. In five to six batches over 3-4 days a housefly lays around 500 eggs in its lifetime of 15-30 days.

I have the choice to allow the rationality of mind—that these are carriers of diseases such as typhoid, tuberculosis and worms—to stifle the poetic romanticism of lovemaking insects, and squash them down with a newspaper strike. If I do this, I can easily close-up an entire branch of houseflies. It will wind up the new pathways for 500 new houseflies in a week, which would have ended up starting new chain reactions of 500 further houseflies from those previous ones, and onwards similarly. That means I would stop the evolution of millions of houseflies from this end. The rationality of the human mind would encourage one to stop at least one door to the proliferation of these germ-spreading insects.

But is there anything in nature that has not its benefits? Houseflies are waste decomposers and eat poo. A single tiny larva eats about half gram of organic matter in a day. Beyond the side issues of disease transmission, hygiene and sanitation practices, mother nature produces them to decompose the natural and human-produced organic waste including feces and carcasses. There are houseflies because there is excess of organic matter that hasn’t been suitably and properly managed. That opens the breeding potential for these opportunistic feeders. They lap up the putrefying sap with their sponging mouthparts. Moreover, their pathogenic immunity can be studied to help us understand the causes and factors of immunity to help us devise similar medical defense guards for the humans also. So in the scheme of mother nature it’s not clear whether stopping this particular point of evolution would be beneficiary or disadvantageous in the ultimate sense.

I think instead of trying to kill a pair of lovemaking houseflies, I should try to properly manage the organic waste around me, at least on my premises. That seems like a real solution—an effort to remove the cause instead of merely tempering with the effects. Helped by the self-approval of poetic romance, I strengthen my moral fortification and allow the fly couple their moments of surrender to the energetic throng of procreation. They are not concerned about my choice. They take their time, oblivious to my shuffling and flicking newspaper.

The drone then takes off after many prolonged minutes of joyride on the rollercoaster of creation. He has played his limited part in the process. The female has a bigger role to play. Her part has just started. She sniffles around for a couple of more minutes, preens her wings and takes off to look for a suitable filthy site to put her larvae the next day.

The countryside PDL and PDA

 

The lethal most Public Display of Lust (PDL) I have witnessed goes like this. It was a bull in full heat of the moment—in hormonal terms. Sadly there was no cow in sight. The red-hot excited bull must have had a great sense of visualization. If not for this how would you digest the sight of a bull riding a scooty. The bull visualized  the scooty as a cow. There are always alternatives. Aren’t there? The scooty was parked by the roadside. A nice white scooty, smaller than a cow. So the bull raised its front legs and landed on it for lovemaking, mating, raping, call it whatever. It shocked and jolted the human senses for a moment but then everyone laughed, hollered, guffawed.

The craziest, all-defiant love pursuit I have seen goes like this. It was a massive male buffalo. A free-roamer allowed to graze in the fields in return for mating with domesticated buffaloes to sire colts and getting fresh milk in the family. It would go lumbering across the village streets after grazing in the fields and was cordially welcomed to fulfill the needs of the buffaloes at the time of seeding. The buffalo bull should have treated all the females in the village equally, with identical affection. But then it fell in love with a young filly. It was a very attractive young buffalo. He just went crazy for her. He knew that she would come of age soon and then he would get an opportunity to be the father of her colt. He lost interest in the rest of the buffaloes. She would be there in the shade of the barn and he would wait in the street, sitting in the burning June heat, waiting for the evening to come when they took her out for watering at the village pond. Then he would accompany her to the pond, walking fondly with her, gentling shoving her, licking her skin. He won’t go into the fields to graze and thus was losing weight. Spellbound by her, he wasn’t interested in mating with other buffaloes. The people started calling him Majnu. The owner of the young buffalo took it as an attempt to tarnish his reputation. The people started joking that it was an attempt to malign the family’s honor. The irate farmer then would beat Majnu with well-oiled sticks. But he would bear all this just to be with his love interest.

The grandest fight one wages to prove one’s libido even in the old age was presented by another romoeo, a one-eyed community buffalo bull. We called him Kana, for he had lost one eye in a fight with a rival. He was a massive bull. In his heydays he sired hundreds of colts in the village and was thus the cause of bringing fresh milk to scores of rural houses. But then age caught with him. He but would try to keep his fiefdom still intact. I remember it once when he fell down in an attempt to get onto a young buffalo. The onlookers laughed and made derogatory puns at his vanishing stamina and strength. Maybe the old buffalo took it to heart. And to prove a point that his power was just the same, he carried the momentum right there on the ground. We saw him convulsing with lust on the ground. The poor old bull was trying to drill a hole in the earth to prove a point. It was pretty hilarious that day. When we try to be what we are no longer, we simply turn a joke. Don’t we?

And just today I saw the bravest Public Display of Affection (PDA):a cow and a bull standing right there in the middle of the busy road at the entrance to the town; in full foreplay mood, licking each other with the very same pleasure treasure that each species seems to run after on the earth. We respect cows and the vehicles would divert to the sides to allow them this holy PDA. And here I am going on my scooty marveling at their holy audacity. The only point of mismanagement was that he chose the wrong moment to try to materialize the peak of affection. He went for the heave just when I was crossing over. I was at a safe distance but still the shuffling and movement brought them precariously close. It was a momentary scare. He would have risen in love to the crest of ecstasy and I would have fallen as a fruit of their love. I’m glad not to have become the casualty of a PDA.

The song of a lone tree

The song of a lonely chir pine on an entire hill slope! Not a leave rustles among the scrub forest around. The lonesome pine sings a ditty! But when you are alone, either you sing out of agony or ecstasy. There is no midway melody! I interpret it as a song of ecstasy dedicated to a freshly minted year.

From a hill girl's dressing table

In any case they are rosily fair, the mountain women. But then it's Humanoids' misery for more and more, the relentless driving force. While there are wild hibiscus, not flowering though at this time, here lies the memento, carrying some hill lass's aspiration to shine even more...

A message

On the wayside thistles on a stony footpath scented with karipatta leaves, a tiny signboard harks attention! Solitary journeyman, take up the message and spread it for the common good! Feel the gratitude, here the agent of death Himself is putting up a warning! Can there be a clearer message?

PS: Mother nature has put the Hindi version upface. I take the liberty of turning it over and expose the Eeengleesh one also for the benefit of the so called more educated. Taking the message seriously can be a nice start to a new year!

A sadhak nearing destination

 

Kaka Maharaj, who has been for many decades staying in a hut by the canal, is comfortable in holding three satsangs with me in a month. That is the time when we share, discuss—and even debate—about our versions of truth. He remains tethered to his hut and avoids contact with the people who he thinks carry too much worldly subjects within themselves which disturbs his sadhna. Once a month, he takes a solitary footpath to reach the temple outside the village where an idol of his guru is installed to pay homage on purnima.

He hadn’t visited the nearby town for more than a decade and seemed set to avoid it forever. But then he paid a little worldly price for holding satsang with me. He adores Dada Lakhmi Chand, the legendary folklorist from the area. A little test of his adoration: suppose he is just about to break your head with a brick and you just happen to say ‘Dada Lakhmi Chand’ and he would stop to listen what you have to say about the Shakespeare of Haryana. I spotted this chink in his armor and enticed him to the town. It was a feat in itself.

There was a biopic movie on Dada Lakhmi Chand shown at the newly constructed swanky, posh mall in the town. Ask him to visit the sansar of town and his weed-lit red eyes would throw daggers at you. He may even throw some object at you. So I suitably rolled the invitation with the name of his hero. As a result, he didn’t jump at the mention of ‘town’ like he would have normally. I could spot my chance and built my orchard around the great folklorist. I built up an imaginary world extolling the virtues of the biopic in highlighting the great Haryanvi poet. The result was that I could convince him to watch a movie—unimaginable—at a big mall. He who doesn’t find the idea of even a television set in a house too becoming for a healthy life and living! He agreeing to watch a movie at a mall! That shows yours truly can fruitfully bargain with hostage takers as a profession.

On the appointed day I drove him to the town. He was dressed in a pair of kurta-pyjama that was lying buried under a sack for almost a decade and was surprisingly safe from the rats.

(The rats would cut even his plastic jars and steal his meager supply of grocery that keeps him alive on one frugal meal a day. I have seen big rats scampering across the grassed roof of his hut. ‘They even jump at me when I’m sleeping,’ he once told me. ‘Maybe it’s a message from your guru that you aren’t supposed to sleep,’ I remarked. ‘Well, maybe!’ he seemed in agreement with my casual jesting remark. A monitor lizard once stayed near his hut and then there won’t be any rats. Kaka Maharaj considered it a friend. But then one day when he was meditating the lizard crawled onto the head of its sadhak friend. Kaka Maharaj wasn’t aware that it was his friendly lizard. He swiped his hand and it panicked and jumped. The lizard must have thought that it was an attempt at its life. ‘It jumped and ran but stopped at a little distance and looked back. We looked at each other for a long pause. Then it went away. I never saw her again. It was my fear that startled her. This littlest ounce of fear has to go from the body of a sadhak. The body shouldn’t move even a little under such circumstances. I knew I had failed in my sadhna. So I cried that day,’ he told me.)

Now, coming back to the movie-watching trip. He found the town changed beyond recognition since his last trip. ‘I cannot find the old town anywhere!’ he exclaimed. It was understandable. The world around his hut has remained the same. It’s the same canal with the same flow of water. The only change he can make out is that the little saplings he had planted are big trees now. That’s the parameter of change for him. He looked startled and intimidated by the booming urbanization. Imagine a person who stays in a grass hut being taken straightaway to a showy mall! He was tentative and unsure on the slippery floors. The elevators, lifts, showy shop-fronts, food aroma from the food court, the humming of humanity, the glitz and glamor and among all this an old saintly man. He seemed lost among all this. He towed me like a little child follows an elder in a crowd. The scent of modernity in the mall hit him hard. It was completely opposite to the free natural fragrance around his little hut.

Inside the theatre, he sat like an alien trapped in a hostile environment. But when the movie started and a few folksongs from his hero blared and bombarded the eardrums he looked a bit amused. Then the folk-hero’s life history began with his birth. It was too much for him. ‘All this is a big lie! How do they know all this happened like this? It was more than a hundred years ago. This is fake! A funny drama!’ he shouted in my ear. I was thinking of making a respectful exit from the darkness. But he understood. ‘I know you like it. So watch it. I’m going to sleep,’ he assured me. Then Kaka Maharaj folded himself like a baby in the womb and slept off in his chair. His guru his mother. His faith the safe womb. He could actually sleep in a cinema hall where the music would rattle your bones.

After the movie—sorry, after a sound sleep—he looked fresh and totally detoxified of the urbanized exposure I had brought upon his system. The modernist clatter and noise seemed to have no effect on him now. His smile and poise was back as he walked out of the mall. ‘Kaka Maharaj you could actually sleep so soundly in that noise!’ I exclaimed as we drove back. ‘Yes Tagore—he calls me Tagore for my love of books—I don’t know whether you believe it or not. I saw only my Guru on the screen. Then it was so easy to sleep,’ he said. Maybe his guru had sent him for a little test and I’m sure he passed the test by coming out unaffected from a totally alien environment. That’s the sign of a good meditator. He/she retains the inherent balance even after coming across conflicting situations.

On the way back, he asked me to buy cumin seeds for him. I got two 250 grams packets, one for him and one for our own kitchen. ‘How much is this?’ he asked, gently weighing the little packet on his palm. ‘It’s 250 grams,’ I replied. He gently corrected me with a slight sway of head, ‘No Tagore, it’s only 200 grams. The shopkeepers would always cheat like in the old days,’ he said. Then I expressed my doubts about the difference in weight telling him that this is the town’s very reputed grocer and I don’t think they would cheat people like this. ‘Look at the packaging and all the stats given regarding weight, packaging date, expiry date, nutrition table, nice logo, nice material,’ I enlisted the indicators of quality. Later that day, I weighed my packet on the tiny kitchen scale and the weight came to be exactly 200 grams. I am humbled.

A few satsangs after this incident didn’t go well. He debated and cut my opinions as if with premeditated intentions. Maybe he was giving it back for taking him to a place that stood the polar opposite of his world.

A few months back, I found him visiting my room crammed with books. Possibly he got curious to know a bit more about me. He is into bhakti yoga and I could feel his discomfort while standing near the little hill of gyan marga. As we know one’s company of friends and people leaves a big impact on the person’s life. Maybe Kaka Maharaj got interested in books. Some days later he asked me for a book. I chose a book by a local saint, the combined works of Narayan Maharaj, thinking he would be able to relate to the writing because it was written by someone from the same area keeping in mind the socio-cultural factors prevailing in the area. Judging the psychology of reading among non-readers—they lose interest very easily—I suggested him to read the book randomly, not page by page. ‘Just open any page at random and read, maybe that particular page has a message for you,’ I gave my expert advice as I handed over the thick volume. He was sitting under a mango tree and took the thick volume with discomfort, almost suspicion in fact. He opened a page at random as I had suggested. He is all seriousness as he reads the first line on the page. He throws the book into my lap as if he has received an electric shock. ‘It’s a sheer lie!’ he mutters. Well, the first line on that page happened to be the local saints ‘prohibition against weed, ganja and charas. Kaka Maharaj has been smoking weed as an aid in his sadhna for decades, so obviously he found it insulting. ‘See, I respect him. But that doesn’t mean he is correct about everything!’ he looks stern.

Imagine out of 500 pages, this page had to open and the first line—perhaps the only line in the entire book—happened to be the one that would offend the reader. So the book was returned just one-line read. ‘You yourself wanted to read books,’ I muttered under my breath. ‘No, no … books are suitable for you. Take it away,’ he instructed. So I returned with my thick book.

Recently he crossed a big milestone in his sadhna. I call it a milestone because I have heard and read about it that most of the sadhaks have to cross it sometimes on the path. At one night he faced the soul-rattling experience of weirdest apparitions, ghouls, djins, naked witches, ferocious demons and the strangest human-animal hybrids. ‘I was sitting in dhyan post-midnight. They just arrived in big numbers. You cannot imagine such strange and fearsome bodies and faces. Some of them came so close that I could smell their breath. The naked horrid witches stayed a couple of feet away, but they danced in a repugnant manner. My heart would have burst out with fear if not for my guru. I survived just because I kept focus on my guru and saw his image in my mind,’ he told. I have read many books of sadhaks meeting such experiences. He is a simple man of faith, so it may not sound too much to him. But I know with my bookish knowledge that mother existence has tested him for fear. That day I felt very glad for him and left with a smile on my face—for him, for his sadhna, for his guru who saved him from a fall in the face of the devil.

The richness of a simple mind

 

There is some manual task to be done. Rashe Ram is my first option for anything requiring physical labor. I try my luck to connect with him over his phone number. As expected the number is temporarily out of service. He knows that he doesn’t need a phone much. Due to his honesty in work he is much in demand, so the labor seekers would book his services by launching a physical search and catching hold of him in person. And his secret girlfriends also know where to find him whenever he is needed for his lover’s duties, which is nothing more than a hurried plain mating even without having a word. In any case he is a man of few words.

The work involves some repairs in the street and we are gathered on the spot feeling not so good about not being able to avail the services of the best worker. Then someone informs that Rashe was recently picked up by the police for keeping fifteen little pouches of ganja. We have just stopped talking about him and there comes Rashe Ram lumbering with his usual carefree air, unconcerned about the big issues in life. He is much hailed for his timely arrival.

He shyly denies my question about the police episode. But when he sees that I’m serious about this quest he tells the truth. ‘I had bought fifteen little pouches of ganja from Delhi for personal use. The village police informer passed the information to the police. They picked me up. Kept me there for couple of hours. They collected all the pouches and took three thousand rupees to set me free.’ These are plain facts of his arrest. Their significance in his life is limited to their literal meaning. His is a mind unburdened of the polished maladies of overthinking, analysis and psychological traumas born of such an inconsequential happening.

‘You don’t keep phone these days? I tried but the number is out of service,’ I ask him. He has his tiny non-smartphone with him. It’s a new number he tells me. The old number? I threw away the chip in a nullah when the police were after me. We the clever people think it proper to take his new number in order to avail his labor services without delay in future. I ask my brother to note down his number because I don’t have my phone with me. He also is enjoying a phone-free time which seems a blessing, almost a vacation these days. Don’t we feel so relaxed when we step out of the house without the one ton psychological weight of the phone? My cousin brother is also having the same vacation. I ask the workers do they have a pen, which was a foolish query because their pockets would have beedies, matchbox, tobacco or ganja—the tools to beat the feeling of being disadvantaged in life by birth, the fate throwing them into poverty right from the beginning. We seem to be at loss of words about the daunting task regarding how to note down his number. With my amazing creative skills I even think of writing it on the sand and then run home to take my phone before some cattle either pees or defecates on my earthen notebook.

‘Why don’t you just dial your number from my phone?’ Rashe softly drools with his slurred, soft, noble giant’s speech.

My software professional brother, still carrying the classy fragrance of a recent official trip to a developed country; my cousin brother carrying the high notes of confidence and youth becoming of an enthusiastic entrepreneur; and me the man with a library of books in the head—we have been caught on the wrong foot. Common sense seems to be too exclusive for our educated, smart selves. Caught on such a wrong foot of unawareness!

All three of us have an embarrassed laugh. It’s very humbling. A basic dose of common sense is all that we need to lead a happy life, to have a light mind unburdened of overthinking and hard-pressed by weighty issues. Many villagers are straightaway dismissive about Rashe Ram because he isn’t cunning and clever like the rest and this they interpret as being a dumb person. But in his unburdened mind he carries enough common sense to allow him a contended simple life.

The next day he is busy at the assigned task. It involves clearing a big heap of bricks, boughs, plastic and trash all jumbled together to form a nice century for reptiles and rodents. He is working easefully but I’m worried for him because many snakes have been seen around that place. I have already cautioned him multiple times about it but he seems to carry on without minding my words too much. Then my over-concern burdens his brain and he has to explain. ‘See, I have this stick with me. Didn’t you see that each time I put my hands to pick up something, I first prod the items with the stick so that the snake will crawl away,’ he slowly drawls. It again is so-so humbling. In my eagerness to spot some snake I had completely overlooked this simple man’s modest solution in dealing with the problem. Such a simple solution for a risky task! In his place my educated mind would have given me solutions like wearing knee-length jungle boots and gloves reaching armpits to deal with the problem. I stand corrected like a little boy standing in front of a stern headmaster.

The so-called common, simple, poor people have huge common sense in their unburdened minds to help them wade through the scores of daily challenges they have to face. I realize however high and mighty be our knowledge, we miss on little nuggets of common sense. But these are the little weapons in the hands of the common man to easily meet the routine challenges of life.

The energetic gentlefolk of old times

 

Old Taus and Tais would pour out their hearts to me. I have been lucky to listen to their very personal tales, the exciting chronicles of their youth. Dozens of old people from the village shared very personal stuff with me. For the sanctity of their trust, I would keep their names secret and call them Tau A, Tau B, Tai C, etc. I don’t think that even if I mention them by names there would be any big scandal. These are routine things in the countryside in the lives of the farming community. But still from my own code of conduct I should keep the identities secret. Most of them are gone and a few survive almost like sages with that marvelous surrender and cool detachment. But it’s exciting to imagine that they were once warm-blooded with hormonal excitement. Further, you never know some semi-criminalized grandson of one of them might break the hand that writes about the histories of their forefathers.

I remember Tau A fondly retelling those glorious old days when society was simpler and the sense of brotherhood among clan members and extended families ruled supreme. ‘Those were real good days! Brothers shared a great bond. We tolerated very easily most of the things for which there would be bloodshed these days. See son, I would be out during winter nights irrigating the wheat crop and would return after midnight. And most of the time I saw my younger brother hurrying out of the quilt of my wife. I knew it. But I always pretended not to see it. Most of us pretended it and allowed the younger brothers to have good fun with our wives. Where would they go?’ he told it so easily in full flow without slightest inhibition.

I was pretty small then but I recall the episode pretty clearly. Tai B was telling the episode when intimacy was forced upon her by Tau C—good lord, was it the same Tau C who appeared so disciplined after joining an ashram during the old age. It was clearly a case of enforced intimacy but her hollow-cheeked laughter makes me feel that she had long forgiven Tau C if she carried any anger. ‘I was cutting fodder one noon. There wasn’t anyone around in the fields. He came very politely and asked me to help him tie his fodder bale. I followed him to the place where he indicated his fodder was lying. He kept saying a bit further into the furrows of tall Jowar. Then I found there was nothing to tie down. It was a ploy to untie…my cord. Once it started I thought there was no point in resisting. If it is so, then let it be! There were bigger issues for us to sort out than this. At least he wasn’t bad at it!’ she laughed nudging at the old ribs of another woman. All of them heartily laughed. ‘If it can be passed so casually, where would ‘rape’ fit in then?’ I wonder now. Well, it depends upon people’s own choice. It started without her consent but ended with her approval so much so that she compliments Tau C who is no more and must be feeling proud of his virility in the other world.

Tau D was too proud of his wee-wee. He would pretend to urinate when the young women passed. Getting tongue-lashed was very normal for him. But then he ran out of luck and got more than a tongue-lashing. A banjara woman—an audacious gypsy woman—hit the item of his pride with a mulberry switch. He nearly fainted. His flashing escapades withdrew. Maybe the concerned anatomical item withdrew into its shell after the strike.

Tai E was very liberal in the matters of intimacy and explored the groins of many farmers during her prime. Now all of them were drooping with age and fragile bones. I remember her as a petite woman. She wasn’t hesitant about publicly discussing how much milking she had performed on a particular bull. We remember her doing her duties till the far end of her life as she would unabashedly visit an apish Tau F who seemed to be still active in his old age.

Tai G was more comfortable without her skirt than with it on. So we need not repeat the obvious. She was known for her rivalry with Tai E for the much-in-demand Tau F. He must have been a good bull for milking because everyone agreed that he was still active in his eighties.

Tau H had lost his wife many years back and thus carried a big load of lust in his bulky body. In his late seventies he lunged at a chance to vent out all his pent-up lust. A middle aged banjara woman was roaming in the streets asking fodder for their cattle. It was a hot noon. Tau H got her into the barn on the pretext of giving her fodder. He was successful in his mission. But he turned a miser at the time of payment. He had promised her a big bale of fodder and thought of duping her by giving just a little amount of wheat husk. I think he underestimated the audacity of these gypsy women. There she was shouting expletives at the top of her voice. The little amount of fodder was put in the street and her top-voiced denouement of Tau H went sashaying across hot air. The people came out of their houses. ‘See-see, this is what this shameless oldie has given me! Just a fistful of fodder for all that devilish **** he gave me!’ she was shouting. She was putting up her stick to notify the measurement of Tau H’s endowment. So everyone came to know how much Tau H measured and what he had done to that woman. ‘He is a cheater!’ she declared.  

The first and the last lady don of the entire area from our village, Tai I, can fill up entire chronicles full of her sex trafficking, robberies, charity, bride abduction, armed squads and much-much more. She ruled the prime land of Jat patriarchy during the thirties to the sixties of the last century. Those who were born after her demise still know her name. So that gives the idea of her popularity. I tried to gather material on her from the old men in the village. But they were all dismissive about her. It’s understandable because she had hit very hard on their wee-wee at a time when a woman was considered even lower than a buffalo in a farmer’s house. If I get enough material I plan to write a book on her sometime. Regarding intimacies, it’s understandable that she was far-far advanced than her times.

Tai J turned out to be a pioneer in the art of intimacy. She was reputed to be very beautiful in her youth and carried faded traces of that charm even in her seventies. One of my classmates from the village school was eying her granddaughter. He was around fifteen at that time. He started visiting Tai J’s house quite regularly. Tai J, experienced with age and full of wisdom, smelt the hormonal storm going inside the teenager for her granddaughter. As a wise matriarch she channelized the direction of the storm towards herself. The boy was expertly seduced and looked very happy during those days. Tai J looked even happier on having a lover of her grandson’s age. I came to know about the reason of their happiness when only the old neighborhood dog and me were left out of its knowledge. He shared the information a few years back only. ‘You didn’t know? I thought only the cattle, dogs and cats were out of the loop of this open-source knowledge!’ he wondered when I shared that I never had any clue to this. Tai J carried the most contended smile among all the elderly women of her generation. In fact, I interpreted it as the smile of a sage. Now I know the worldly cause of her saintly smile. God must have been very creative in fabricating such an interesting world. 

The abandoned hut

 

Kaka Maharaj, the old sadhak who stays outside the village fell out with worldly elements and left his hut in anger, the hut that he had groomed with so much love in solitude. He stayed here for decades. It's a high energy place, its energy one can feel the moment one enters it. I have been trying to convince him to come back because I feel that he ought not to abandon his spiritual seat; it’s a cocoon of love for his guru Kude Bhagat.

The other day I went to check the hut and sat for meditation near his fireplace. It was a sad sight to see the place abandoned in one stroke after decades of careful nurturing. The ramshackle gate closed. His old, worn out mismatched pair of footwear placed in front. The little grove of trees he has planted, which is a tiny forest now, sighed with sadness; the tiny rows of vegetables lying like an orphan without any protection. The open fireplace and the heap of dry fuel wood lying like the ruins of a historic site just within a few days of the master gone. I gathered few cheap, dented, blackened aluminum utensils that I found outside and placed them inside the hut, hoping for better days for them.

Sitting by the fireplace inside the hut is like plugging into an electric circuit of high energy. Despite my clear intension to sit still and meditate, I couldn't sit still. Involuntary movements would start the moment I closed my eyes and stilled my body. I just allowed myself to be a witness. It was surprising so I thought of recording them in order to observe as a neutral person later. The moment I shut my eyes, they would start of their own. I think the energy meridians try to get into alignment with the energy frequency around me. I suppose that's how the yogic movements were revealed to the mediators. They try to bring the body in alignment with the larger energy meridians. One feels light like air, almost flying. I think the conscious mind takes a backseat during these moments, opening the portal to the subconscious, which further builds up the possibility for the entrance to the cosmic consciousness. I think pranayam and yoga postures are a means of opening the portal to the subconscious.

In any case, I feel very sad about him. I prayed to his guru to bring him back to the hut. I prayed because I feel the decision was taken in anger, and he should come back to resolve this little chaos of negative energy that got unleashed due to those uncontrolled moments. I clearly feel that he has developed a lot of energy at the place, which will help him in his journey.