About Me

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Hi, this is somebody who has taken the quieter by-lane to be happy. The hustle and bustle of the big, booming main street was too intimidating. Passing through the quieter by-lane I intend to reach a solitary path, laid out just for me, to reach my destiny, to be happy primarily, and enjoy the fruits of being happy. (www.sandeepdahiya.com)

Friday, October 11, 2024

On the banks of Maa Ganga

 


Pre-script: Inspired by conversation with one of the best devotees of Maa Ganga 

Who wouldn't like to stay longer on the banks of Maa Ganga?! But She would like Her children to be active in the world as well. To me Her maternal touch is like prasada...even the little bit of it gives a feeling of getting satiated and fulfilled that buckets of normal food won't give. Frankly speaking dear friends I feel blessed and happy whatever time She allows me near Her for my learning and growth. Don't you see those who are born on Her banks and stay there since birth are even more common and worldly than those born in cities far away? I mean most of them are. Because to them Her presence is like food, not prasadam...they take it for granted. People like you, me and countless others who get Her presence like prasadam now and then are really blessed. She calls us now and then, gives lessons and new realisations, sends us away to find the meaning of life, come back, evolve a bit more by Her touch and go back again...a real prasadam...in small bits..and those who stay with Her all the time ...to them She is mere food...taken for granted. So bow down and be grateful for such beautiful prasadam She has given you. 








We go to temples...but not all of us stay in a temple to feel blessed...we can carry the spark of divinity that we get from the temple. To me She is a living temple. And whatever chance She gives to have Her darshan is prasadam..I know She would love me to do my worldly role...which I do with a very balanced approach...I just told my view dear friends... I'm not saying everyone should feel like that..

Maybe She sends us away when She feels that prasadam ought not become food... separation with an assured coming together: the loveliest subtle twine that binds the deity and the devotee. ...just like silence is the best language... 🙏👍✍️💛



Wednesday, October 9, 2024

Whose verdict is this?

The election results in Haryana don't represent the ground realities. There are very serious allegations of systematic manipulation and hijacking of process and machines. It's the election commission's verdict, not the people of Haryana.

It's very easy to make technology a weapon in pursuit of your goal. Israel used technology to put explosives in pager devices used by Hezbollah. Similarly, EVM machines are sitting ducks for manipulation. Save Indian democracy. Say no to EVMs.

Now sceptics and andhbhakts will mention J and K election results. There was no need to temper there. It's under lieutenant governor who has so many powers that the MLAs are mere symbol. Imagine the lieutenant governor of Delhi doesn't allow the Delhi government to function. The kashmir governor is at least ten times stronger. So they already have their government in effect there irrespective of who comes to power in the legislature. 

And if the EVM is so foolproof, why do the countries which are 50 years ahead of us in technology still use ballot paper? America landed a human on the moon almost 60 years back and we have recently landed an unmanned craft there. And America doesn't believe in EVMs right. Andhbhakts any arguments from your side please? The country that made EVMs for the first time - Germany - doesn't use them on the grounds that it isn't possible to trust its credibility.

Give Indians first a cheated fake result. Even the commonest of us have enough brains to discuss and chalk out the true success story of a fake result. We will then spin the success hypothesis to validate the false. You just need to cheat us and then leave it on us to prove with our shrewd acumen that it was no cheating, it was rather a masterstroke to achieve true, honest success. Well done Mr Kumar! You did your job, now we do ours😂

Saturday, September 28, 2024

The Desert Dagger

There were killings, slaughter, genocide. Holocaust. From its fire a dagger was born. The Desert Dagger. Forged in the sandy, fiery furnace of killings, torture, annihilation. Enemies rasping at its edges from all sides to annihilate it. But that merely sharpens the edges. The Desert Dagger has a pointed tip, the pinnacle of all the sharp, serrated edges around it - survival. It has the soul of steel. It has one soul, one goal, one dream, one people - survival. It knows how to reshape its pain into hope and then turn hope into cutting edge technology - sharp, precise, surgical., unsparing. 

The Desert Dagger cuts and writes its destiny on the book of life having sandy pages. It's a mighty pen held in one hand. It knows what it has to write - the book of survival, the manual of survival at any cost. Where does the Desert Dagger's soul, spirit and matter come from? It comes from the memories of millions who perished in gas chambers. It comes from the teary, rosy dreams in hearts - the dreams of survival of a race. It comes from the razor sharp logic in the mind - the logic of fight when surrounded from all sides and kill before getting killed.

Wednesday, September 25, 2024

Happiness

Happiness is primarily an acceptance of one's situation in life. It might not come to you even in a palace if you don't really settle inside the walls and within your skin.  You are a cranky host, so it will avoid you. And it will definitely come to visit your slum hut if it finds you an unashamed, guilt free, kind host. As an old, poor charwoman, whom Somerset Maugham meets after many years in 1949, when there had been lots of developmental works in the meanwhile, says to him: "They have cleaned up the slums and the dirt, and all the happiness and joy has gone with it."

Saturday, September 14, 2024

Musings on a rain-soaked day

 I walk far more than any ultra-marathon runner. In fact I beat all the runners combined in terms of walking and running. I walk with my mind. I walk on the legs of thoughts. They keep me on the busy highway. The other day, someone complained, 'You hardly go out these days, always busy with books!' Now how to tell that person that I'm always walking, walking in the mind. The best test is just to walk with legs only with the mind shut off. Because walking with both mind and legs can be very tiring. Walking on legs with positive feelings is somewhat better. But there was Krishna who walked on a blood smitten battlefield. He just walked on his legs. With no feelings and thoughts. What detachment! No wonder we worship him as a god now.

@

Human mind is conditioned to hatch and plot more and more human-centric realities. Artificial intelligence and synthetic biology are the latest tools to further spread our intellectual wings and forge bigger realities. But ultimately the 'maker' will stand synonymous with the 'made'. Presently we can feel proud while looking at our products because they stand separate and lowly while we muse our our creations. But now there is a fundamental shift. The product isn't strictly outside our physiological body. The product is creeping inside us--into our neurons as artificial intelligence; into our cells as synthetic biology. We have been crazy about making something. And when there isn't anything left to make, we have started making a newer version of our own self. It's just like nature produced we humans on this tiny planet but got devoured by its product. Similarly the homosapiens will be gradually absorbed by a new product, a new species. Just evolution, maybe. So why worry. Make the most of it as one of the last real homosapiens generation on this small planet. Enjoy what life and mother nature has still to offer.

@

Language is used in pursuance of intellectual truth, an edifice created by the mind on the basis of sense perception. It's a mere utility just like the birds have wings to fly. With words you can make a career at the most, be it any field. And intellectual truth is just a portion of the experiential truth which one feels in the moments of dissolving the self in beautiful nature where nature is cooing its real secrets through sighing winds, rippling brooks, waving trees, playing clouds, solitary valleys, wild flowers and more. 

The moment we really feel, not just theoretically because that again is mindwork, that thoughts and their end product, intellectual reality, is a mere sense perception based functionality, just like an ant's single-sense based craze to seek a grain of sugar, we take a quantum jump into higher dimension. We enter the dimension of experiential reality which again is a portion of the ultimate reality but it's far far bigger than the intellectual reality. It's a portal to the unknown.

From words to silence to unknown. It's just a matter of rise in consciousness. Words speak of something limited, something symbolically fixed to help us understand a tiny portion of existence around. Silence speaks, wordlessly, of its own self. Open yourself to it. It will embrace you in its maternal loving arms and transport you into a far bigger dimension. And obviously one feels better at an uncrowded place. Don't we feel better after coming to a peaceful hill station, leaving behind the hustle and bustle of bazaar and cities? In the same way our consciousness is also seeking avenues to a broader dimension, from intellectual to experiential, from materiality to immateriality. 

Happy be thy journey from noise to silence, from running (both in mind and body) to arriving home, from restlessness to perfect ease.

Thursday, September 12, 2024

The landless farmer

 

Harichand was a broad-shouldered, squarish man with an impressive bear paunch. Just like any other landless struggler in the rural society, shorn of any economic or social legacy, he had to pull his family cart in a way wherein the last step was just sufficient to push the next one, a painful but terribly aware living where the present grips you so hard that you barely get any time to either reflect over the past or muse over future. Clad in soiled dhoti and kurta he stockily squared up to the routine challenges of a poor household. He had many children and some of them grew up with us playing in the neighborhood.

One of his various vocations was to ply his tonga to the market town and carry cattle feed sacks for the farmers. He remember him walking stooped, cautiously, carrying a quintal of cattle feed sack on his back. The more the weight you can lift on your back, the lesser of it you have to carry in your mind. In addition to all this, for some years he rented a berries farm on the outskirts of Delhi. With the start of flowering, he would pile his horse-driven tonga with all the necessities of setting up a hut and start with his wife, leaving the children under the care of their grandmother.

His youngest son found the village primary school almost a prison and the yearly sojourn among the berry trees appeared the ultimate meaning of freedom. Harichand would use all tactics to deter his son from following the tonga. He started with shouting words and soon graduated to thrashing. It failed. He tried starting very early in the morning, thinking the little one would be asleep at the time. But the school-scared kid would smell his plan and he would keep awake all night. Then the concerned father tried to tire out his obstinate son by making him run after the tonga for many kilometers. On one occasion, he had to yield to the tiny runner after the latter had broken all previous records by following the tonga for almost ten kilometers. With this excellent focus and hard dedication, the little kid got freedom from the school for forever.

Then the times changed. The berries farm was gone for more lucrative land use. Now Harichand took farmland on lease within the village to make a living. He had a balding pate, snow white beard but stayed as robust as ever. Now his many children had children of their own. It was now a big family that couldn’t sustain at one place and they fell apart to take care of their own struggling course.

Poverty breeds further poverty. He kept working his own bit. He possessed the loudspeaker of a throat, very useful in scaring away the birds eyeing his fruits and vegetables. He used it to good effect in sending warnings to his children within a radius of one kilometer around the village, yelling their names, asking them to come home and attend to more important tasks than just playing. We played almost three-quarter of a kilometer from his humble house. Then his voice would come sailing over the trees, village school, the pond, threatening his children to immediately return.

He possessed a sword, but held it with a calm demeanor. We saw him standing with the weapon when a drunk Jat farmer tried to molest his adolescent girl. He stood composedly with the sword in hand while the offended girl gave a nice example of taking revenge herself by profusely hitting the erring man.

He also possessed a big bamboo bow and scores of clay balls to hit the enemy birds. We were inawe of his big bow and clay bombs. There was a rumor that he could catapult them to a distance of one kilometer.

During his last years he was leasing our twoacres of land to plant marigolds and vegetables. Then for the last two years he further sublet it to another farmer, taking the money in one lot, passing it to me in installments to have a slight economic advantage from the situation. That is all he saved from it. Just a chance to use that money for some months. I wasn’t aware of it and when I came to know this I took it as a little help that I could provide him. From the annual settlement, he still owed me INR 21000 from the lease amount. This time he hadn’t paid it on the promised date. So I thought of visiting his house. He was lying on a cot. ‘He has been having fever,’ they told me. From the folds of his dhoti—very near his genitals—he unfolded the roll of notes and handed over ten thousand rupees. It carried the sweat and smell of his private parts, the essence of his existence. ‘See, what are you forcing me to touch!’ I tried to maintain a funny touch. I asked them to drop the sweaty wad of notes in a polybag, intending to put it under the sunlight to dry.

He had kept it safe like it was his treasure. There were risks in the needy joint family. ‘What about the remaining?’ I asked. ‘I’ll give if I get well!’ he exclaimed ironically. ‘Of course you will get well! What can a simple fever do to your robust figure?’ I assured him. He sighed resignedly. Once outside the house, his son told me, ‘He has liver cancer.’ Harichand couldn’t fulfill his last promise because he died soon after. He died in early sixties, carrying a little debt to me and a few others. As a friendly gesture I freed him from the unsettled issue. That’s all I could do for him.

Tuesday, September 10, 2024

A balanced life

 

Uncontrolled emotions will turn us suicidal, depressed and at the most a brooding misfitted poet. Uncontrolled mind will leave us open to the chance workshop of the devil. Anything negative may come out as a dark product. Uncontrolled energies will see us lunatics. Uncontrolled biology will find us turning into sex maniacs and rapists. Having control over life is only meant to avoid a ‘part’ of our nature or existence from becoming ‘everything’, thus shadowing all other dimensions of life. We get hijacked by one impulse. Then it’s a stunted growth.

Holistic growth, call it evolution, needs balance among the various aspects of our existence. As Buddha said balance is the key to a really joyful life. Keep the parts in place. Maintain all the impulses firmly in place. Don’t deny any part of your existence but please don’t allow just ‘parts’ to become ‘whole’. It’s a multicolored bouquet with fresh flowers of body, mind, emotions and energies. Maintaining balance among them gets us a fulfilling life full of nice relationships, jobs, growth, faith, love, kindness.

If we are driven by just one impulse then it acquires too big a force, driving us in one direction, imbalanced, and we turn mere products of our impulse and randomly developing circumstances. Use all the ‘parts’ of your existence and we become creators of our own self because then there is no excess of one particular driving force.

As humans we can grow and evolve only as creators, not as circumstantial products. To be a mere product would be a degradation and utter disregard for the tremendous potential of awareness that mother nature has given us. So again remember: Balance, Balance and Balance. At least listen to Buddha if not me.

Everyone talks of balance but how to do it, one may wonder. There is a very simple technique for it. Allow yourself to be softly braced by various aspects of life that touch and test the different parts of your existence. Live an experiential life in totality and allow mother existence to caress your multilayered and multidimensional self in various forms at the level of body, mind, emotions and energies. Don’t run away or shun any particular aspect of life. Embrace the experiences that come your way. And where all are sovereigns, nobody would emerge as a tyrant to manipulate your life in an imbalanced way.

Tuesday, September 3, 2024

A really ABLE girl

 The story of a champion. A very-very ABLE girl, daughter, sister, sibling. She is the real champion because even to reach the stage where most of us are born with natural privileges, she had to walk and then run through fire. Well, if you can't walk, don't stop, try to run instead, like she does! 

'Preethi has two younger brothers and an older sister and belongs to a family with meagre income. Her hope now is that her historic medals can bring her a sustained source of livelihood. 

"My father runs a small dairy. During Covid he was in hospital for 3 months. He is still unwell. He has diabetes and has to get injections often. A lot of it is caused by worrying for us. I often tell him that I will arrange for my sister's marriage. My second biggest dream is to be able to organise and fund for my sister's wedding to whoever she likes. I hope my medals can get me a government job. That is my prayer now. I have to take care of my family. I want my father to take care of his health and stay at home and my mother also should not have to go to the forest to feed our buffalo. I want to be able to give them some rest. They have struggled all their lives," she says.' 

(HT News)



Saturday, August 31, 2024

The village holy fool

 

Ishwar was called Bawla by the villagers. He was too simple even for the bucolic times during the last decades of the century bygone. What else the society calls a man who isn’t cunning, calculative, scheming and shrewd? The absence of this typical smartness entitles a man to be called Bawla or fool.

He was a huge man, with a rolling gait, mostly on his toes as if he was going downslope and trying to check or put brakes to avoid a free fall. In his simple kurta pyjama he looked like a kindly grizzly bear. In the face of smart clamor around, he bore a perplexed, puzzled look. As kids we were afraid of him. Someone would shout Bawla at his back. Then he would go on rampage like a bull angry over a red flag. He would run after the culprit with a brick in hand, shouting mild imprecations and cuss words that he had mastered.

He was quite poetic in response to the insult ‘Ishwar Bawla’ and would shout ‘Teri Maa Ne Kare Tawla’—something to do with the offender’s mother—before launching a full-scale attack. I but once witnessed his real side. We had gone for a cricket match to his part of the locality and there Ishwar allayed all my fears. He was a gentle spectator and his talk made perfect sense to my thirteen-year-old self. Most of his talk was about the significance of keeping good manners by the children. I could feel that this was the acme of his realization born of his first-hand experience of the errant behavior of the village children.

Now after decades, having gained a bit of insight, I would call him a holy fool, a God’s innocently pure child, too simple to get into the mainstream chauvinism.

Ishwar was unmarried and stayed with his joint family. He was famous for eating copious amounts of laddoos and puris at marriage feasts. There were episodes when he literally emptied the laddoo basket singlehandedly and on being reminded that it was his own stomach and he shouldn’t torture it like this, he would storm out cursing why had they invited him if they hadn’t the guts to pacify his hunger.

He was very dismissive of women. He followed a credo: he would tie his fodder bundle—a huge one as you must have guessed—and heaved it upon his shoulder first and then hoisted it further upon his head. He never requested anyone to help him put it on his head even though his bundle was always double the size of what a big farmer could carry. Usually the farmers and the peasant women would request a fellow man or woman working nearby in the fields to help the bundle onto the head. But whenever anybody asked Ishwar for help, he would snap, ‘Why did you make it bigger for your capacity to lift it of your own? You should have only as little as you can heave unto your head without assistance.’ Still the peasant women would tease him to help them with their fodder bales. It would result in a barrage of his credo repeated in loud voices to make it clear to them. He looked perturbed that they couldn’t make out even such a simple thing even after being told so many times. Maybe it gave him a nice feeling that he was the only sane man in a village of fools. Well, maybe he indeed was.

He knew exactly how to save his life. One particular farming brat was a specific threat. The boy loved to play truants which the target took on their face value. Whenever the boy came driving his tractor and found Ishwar coming on the way, he would practice mock attacks on Ishwar, trying to make it feel as if he was going to run him over under the tractor. Ishwar would run helter-skelter, thinking it was the doomsday. As a man learning from experience, he devised a plan after many rounds of running to save dear life. He would pick up a brick and stand with a ready-to-strike posture as the tractor passed. Self-defense is good.

Once he was getting his shaving done at the village barber shop. The mischievous young farmer arrived there. Ishwar, his immense torso tied under a chador and his big face copiously leathered, looked sideways as his naughty adversary entered the shop. The young farmer picked up a razor from the counter, stood behind the chair bearing Ishwar and started sharpening it on his palm, while staring at Ishwar with a determined expression. Ishwar stared deep into his foe’s reflection in the mirror on the front. His eyes went glazed with fear, plain raw fear of death. He knew it was the doomsday and the enemy is going to slaughter him right there. He knew exactly what to do. There he escaped, flung the chador away with full force and ran out of the shop, all leathered up, yelling at the top of his voice, ‘He is going to cut my throat with the razor!’ A few village elders had to do a lot of convincing to get him back into the chair and make him believe that the boy was just joking. But Ishwar would ensure that the boy was off the scene first. The latter was requested to leave the place. Later, the barber had to deal with a whole lot of doomsday stories told by a shivering Ishwar. ‘He was sure to slaughter me today if not for my timely escape!’ he was muttering.

He ate chapattis that always counted in double digits. An honest conscience and big body needs a full stomach to sustain. He looked very relaxed while eating, slowly munching his morsels like an uncaring bull chewing the cud. The people joked about it, but he wasn’t afflicted with the malady of changing one’s ways on the basis of what others say or think.

Once the entire joint family had gone to the fields, the ladies having prepared a big stack of many dozens of chapattis in the early morning to have lunch at home after finishing the farming work by noon. All of them returned tired and very hungry but found the cache of chapattis gone. Ishwar was extra kind that day. After finishing his usual quota, he summoned all the dogs in the village in his booming voice. All the dogs were well fed that day and slept very peacefully.

He knew that it was a cunning world and he had to be very vigilant. So he followed a strict protocol regarding monetary transactions. Whenever he purchased somethingfrom the village grocer’s shop, he would demand a firm, articulate ‘yes received the money’ from the shopkeeper after handing over the money. He was always scared that someone not acknowledging the receipt in his standard ‘aa gaye hain’ would cheat him and would demand the money again. There was a big ruckus in the street one day on this account. The villagers found a very nervous, almost on the verge of fainting, Bihari ice-candy seller, a slight man cowering under the verbal harangue unleashed by the big-built Ishwar. Among the verbal torrents, the burly man slurped on the melting red ice-candy. The matter stood like this. Ishwar had carefully handed over the five-rupee coin owed to the seller in lieu of the purchase. But the seller won’t acknowledge the receipt by repeating the standard phrase ‘aa gaye hain’ which an angry Ishwar kept repeating. ‘He isn’t saying, “Aa gaye hain!”’ he was heard shouting, much perturbed at the seller’s effort to cheat him of his coin. The Bihari seller had hardly any clue to the standard monetary protocol followed by Ishwar. So the poor puzzled fellow stood on the verge of nervous breakdown. Imagine an elephant haranguing a rabbit over a monetary deal gone wrong. Then the villagers clarified the issue to the panic-stricken ice-candy seller. He gently said, ‘Yes, paise aa gaye hain.’ ‘See, only now the deal is done! He was thinking of duping me. Took the money and won’t say it that he has taken it, so that he could demand it again,’ a much relieved Ishwar guffawed while taking big slurps at the melting ice-candy so as not allow even a single drop go waste due to negligence.

Mothers are mothers. No wonder, he too was the star of his mother’s eyes. At the high tide of her maternal surge, she would put boiled milk—many liters of it—in the broad iron basin used for carrying anything from wheat, soil or cattle dung, leaving it to cool so that her lovely son could gulp it down. Ishwar would then consume it like a thirsty male buffalo much to the solace of her heart. ‘And still they say he is a fool and fit for nothing. Can they even match him in this?’ she would let out her maternal grudge against the society.

He was a powerful man as is proven by almost a quintal of fodder bale getting hoisted upon his head without any helping hand. But a gentle giant he was, a mere child in a big body. He never used his physical force as per the dictates of an abused ego born of taunts, jeers and puns targeted at him. Yes, he would be irritated and would mutter, grumble, feign attacks, but all this fell well short of any serious injury to anyone. As per the norms of the raw physical strength, he was capable of breaking the bones of the entire locality singlehandedly. Yet the children could well afford to entertain themselves at his cost.

On the last day of his sojourn on earth, he was seen restlessly running around the village. He was in his late fifties I suppose. In the afternoon, after the daylong running to complete the rest of his journey, he lay at the village cremation ground for the last rest. He preferred to die there itself, perhaps to still keep his credo of not allowing anyone to carry his load. He died without much fuss, taking it like an elephant would call it a final day in a forest, without suffering and without much fuss.    

Love

Sometimes you dump a person even though she/he still has a bright smile, twinkle in eyes and lovely fragrant words on lips. Well, that's simply the sunset of love.

Sometimes you lovingly embrace a person despite the frown, caustic remarks and tightly pursed lips shut over bad odor even. Well, that's simply the sunrise of love.

Love is simply a day -- or usually days at random -- in people's lives.

And that makes it so ordinary, so normal, so natural.

Let it remain such.

Why turn it otherworldly?

The teachers

Sometimes the things that would have come naturally to you as a human being acquire a difficult shape because they try to make you learn these by force, fearing you won't be of any use without them. In your natural state you could have been useful, at least like a plant that just grows, giving its little share of oxygen, shade and a little starter to some hungry goat. But the attempt surely leaves you useless -- to them at least. 🤓

Friday, August 30, 2024

The creator

At a given moment, there is no absolute reality or truth or existence beyond one's set of beliefs, knowledge, information, set of conventions and collective mindset, and the respective set of contradictions of all the previous categories. In our endeavours to find the absolute, we simply shift to a different set of all these categories. We simply create a new plain of reality. We keep pushing our truth to cover more space and adjust our ever expanding desires and fears. There is nothing to discover. There is everything to create--first in ideas, imagination, emotions, insecurity, expectations and fears; secondly, its manifestation in physical reality in the domains of art, science, social conventions, economic models, everything.

Wednesday, August 21, 2024

Reading the book of life

 

Aha the book of life! Every day a new chapter. Each incident, happening or phenomenon a fresh sentence with profound meanings.

The new sun rising on a misty morning arriving with the message that there is always light after dark to help us see and realize the illusions and unwarranted fears that we imposed on us in the dark.

The setting sun saying ‘a smiling bye’ with a message that one has to accept and willingly dive into oblivion after a dazzling day, after touching the peak of brilliance, after a full-hearted bear hug with life, after completing an innings in career or a relationship. That a ripe fruit has to drop, that even very dear people will go out of life, that smiles will be followed by tears as well. Acceptand recognize that we have to welcome this play of existence in totality and that includes smiles-tears, win-loss, falling in love, partings, birth-death. Everything.

The shifting shades and reshaping clouds in the sky brimming with the message of change and impermanence, of new forms overtaking the old ones, of a smooth transition, of the old changing into the new without any drama, without any hassles.

Mother earth holding this portion of existence on her maternal palm with unconditional love and the undying spirit of just giving all that Her children need. The message of giving! How much more satisfying it seems in comparison to taking! That we evolve by a great margin just by giving a smile. And ‘taking’ also is highly undervalued. If we ‘take’ with a smile and gratitude, doesn’t it create a ‘giver’ who became joyful for the act? Mother existence prefers a graceful and full of gratitude ‘taker’ than a cranky ‘giver’. Give with a smile of kindness and empathy; take with a smile of gratitude. To mother existence these are simply two facets of the same coin.

The chirping of birds conveying the spirit of keeping songs alive on one’s lips even while engaged in the day-to-day commitments and routine practicalities of life. Their free flights spreading the fragrance of freedom, the urge to fly on one’s own path.

The trees with the message of growth irrespective of the changing environment and the divine instinct of giving fresh air, shade to the weary traveller, inspiration to artists, nests to the birds, fruits for the hungry. A new shoot sprouting from the cut on their bark:the message that we too can get fresh colors and shoots to our personality at the points of cuts, wounds and adversities.

The flowers with the message that smiles carry the touch of divinity, that fragrant petals and nectar fuel the colorful sorties of many butterflies, that we too touch many lives positively with our gentle manners, smiles and sweetness of temperament. That our rainbowed touch can make many people joyful like nectar-satiated butterflies. We smile, say soft words, treat them gently and they soar high and become joyful.

Beautiful relationships with the message that our travel-weary heart, mind and body need a soft touch, a cool brace, a healing bonhomie; that friends, family, relatives, partners, lovers are all there to help us cross a milestone on our eternal journey and then melt and get reshaped like clouds in the sky. But we carry the invisible imprint of their persona on our individual selves. It’s firmer than a line on stone. People might have tears on account of you, once the pathways have parted, but ensure that the tears are accompanied by a smile as well so that the dry tears don’t singe someone’s soul.

A river in the hills, furiously cutting big boulders, passing the message that we have to raise a blizzard of karma to later enjoy a peaceful flow in the planes and still later merge into the bigger serenity of the sea. That we have to cut karmic stones to come out of the stones, walk joyfully on the plane of relationships, kindness, care, share and finally sleep in the lap of mother sea.

The silence in a forest loaded with the message that this is what all the words and languages point to, the language of silence, the mother of all sermons and preaching.

The exotic chaos and cluttering noise in a city heavily pregnant with the message that all of us are destined to wade through inner conflicts, puzzles, trauma and tension like the common people beautifully engaged in the sweet-sour poignancy of the cities.

Falling in love loaded with joy, pleasure, care and share. It tells how important these feelings are for our wellbeing. Just recall the feeling of bliss while freshly in love! Isn’t that wonderful?

Falling out of love, tears, pain and suffering passing the message that we always could have been better lovers. In any case, it’s always for the best in future. We just become better lovers after partings.

Everything around us is full of messages. The book of life! Observe it, feel it, understand it. It opens the experiential dimension in life. With experiential knowing, the phantoms of intellect and mind take a backseat. They always bow down to the confident sovereign, the soul, the observer now fully aware of its kingdom, its colors, shapes, hues, everything.

The beauty of carefully reading the book of life is that we learn to touch our own self, our own body, mind, thoughts and emotions with more empathy and self-love. We fall in love with the life overall. We simply come out of the definition of life within this particular body and feel related to the life overall. Then we touch many lives very-very positively. We become healers without trying to do it intentionally. It’s just a natural state of being in that dimension. Happy reading the book of life!

Enjoy what is still left there

 

We have to deal with mother nature’s slingshots. Just a week back it was extremely cold, and through the gloomy, cold, wet last week of January one could all but pray for the savior sun. Now in the first week of February, the sky is bright and clean and the sun so hot that you feel its heat too much to sit under it even in the morning. So I would say that we have the spring already. But it would be better to call it the spring of the nights, mornings and evenings when there is cool breeze, dew and light mist. The days have all that that makes them entitled for early summer. Beyond all these travails, the beauty would have its moments of sojourns.

As I walk on the thin ribbon of wilderness between the canals cutting across the well-manicured agricultural fields of wheat and mustard, the bright red disk of the sun hovers over the silvery sea of the mist over the horizon. It’s assuring that we still have beautiful moments of sundown. Also, even the crazily intensified farmsteads are better than bladeless concrete jungles. These scatterings of the trees over the channel bunds, embankments and dust paths are better than complete deserts. These sparse clumps of grasses and bushes are still better than lifeless, floored and tiled boulevards.

As the little groups of birds return to their host trees, it again strikes me that we ought to feel gratitude for what is still there. As the sun is downing, the moon is already visible high on the horizon—an almost perfect moon, just a day short of fullness, having a little blur at its lower rim. The two celestial beauties ogle at each other.

A dog barks and I recall three little puppies that have grown very possessive about the tiny village square. It’s their territory and they mean to defend it. I have seen big outsider dogs walking off the scene under their shrill assault.

It was a sad balloon seller who came with a few balloons on his rickety cycle. He walked dejectedly and the canine lads howled to give a suitable gloomy music. The bigger ones howled too. Then a young one almost hitched a ride on their mother. But it had to retreat under their shrill protest. ‘Don’t do it dog! We aren’t yet ready to share our milk with new puppies!’ they seemed to say, bark rather.  

Sunday, August 18, 2024

The war within

 

Remember the wonderful time you spent on a beach facing a calm, bluish lagoon? Its soft bluish ripples gently tugging at your soul. Silence and peace seeping into your ruffled, wavy self. Remember walking on the soft sand of a desert on a wintery, windless day? The sand cotton soft and the sun kindly warming the rigid clods of pain. Away from the hot sandy blizzards, the mirage buried under the sand and you joyfully watching the footstep trail, optimism gently tugging at your soul. Remember rolling on undisturbed pastures on a balmy noon away from the icy shrieks of windstorms? Do you recall the grassy softness assuaging all the hard knots of suffering inside? Remember a calm lake? Its soft ripples gentling tugging at the aggrieved self, asking why are you so sad. Remember the spotless blue sky of the spring season, looking amusedly over the colors that have sprouted below? Of course a sadly pining, sweet nostalgia tugs at our sleeves.

Stormy seas, heaving lakes, disturbed desert or wind-lashed pastures hardly beckon us. We move away from them. They remind us of the storm within our own self. Most of us carry tiny invisible storms within, invisible storms let loose by the onslaught of nervous energy. There are waves of random thoughts, overbearing emotions, fears, insecurities, complexes. That’s why the symbols of peace represented by the kind, peaceful face of nature appeal to us so much. They are like a healing pill, a medicine of peace that we soak, inhale and gulp down todo away with the stormy sea inside.

Most of us carry a choppy sea inside, tossing the boat of our existence. The wind howls and the waves shriek as the nervous energy moves randomly like in a puzzle game, seeking a way out of the troubling alleys and corridors within. Shaken by this stormy onslaught from within, it’s quite natural for us to run around in order to seek solace. It primarily is the base of our eternal urge to connect, interact, build relationships, friendships, setting up families, careers and all that we engage in order to make it somehow meaningful.

There are people within whom the storms have died; so much so that they are a human representation of all the peaceful scenarios given in the first paragraph. They possess the peace of silent, bluish lagoons in them. They have the serenity of a wintertime desert on a windless day. They have the gentility of smoothly rolling pastures. They have the flowering of joy like the spring season. They have the summer warmth of kindness and empathy to melt others’ icicles of pain. They have the autumnal surrender and detachment to carry an unconditional smile. They have the coolness of winters to undo the burning hot turmoil in others. The best of natural peace out there gets sublimated inside their persona. They come to represent the calm, peaceful, assuring, healing aspect of mother nature.

Won’t the people feel these peaceful vibes coming from such souls? They surely will. When we talk of enlightened sages and benevolent saints, maybe we have the vast picture of calmness, peace, tranquility and stability in a human form: a human representation of all the beautiful things in nature that heal and assure our tossed self. The gentle sea, the calm desert, the peaceful lake, the softly musing sky, the soft carpet of pastures need not say anything to us to undo our pain and suffering. They pass the message just by being there. Similarly, the vastly stabilized self of a spiritual person gently, invisibly strokes our hair, kindly embraces our presence without any judgment. They are not left with any possibility for judgments because these are born in a tossed self only. No wonder, the people will look for such gentle souls. They might be hiding in the forests and caves but we somehow seek them out. Just to watch them, be with them and feel their presence. Because it heals. It pacifies the storms within.

Postscript: Inspired by the interaction with a gentle soul who is on the path of becoming exactly such a person.

The women that are no more

 

Those were the buxom old ladies who still lumbered around quite seriously, still pulling the cart of domesticity, till the last decade of the century gone. They had seen much of the last century. They carried manly strength, a thick-skinned temperament and rough farming hands. They had much to give and almost limitless strength to bear. Further, they were broad shouldered and possessed huge breasts which hang down to reach their navels in the old age. These had breastfed many children, not limited to the ones born of their own wombs. In the extended big joint families there was a kind of communal breastfeeding for the dozens of children. There would be many lactating mothers at any point of time to fulfill the children’s needs. The children too took liberty to suckle as per their choice or availability of a feeder when the pangs of hunger struck.

These women were full of motherhood and offered their breasts to even the unfortunate ones in the neighborhood whose mother was either dead or was too sick to feed them. They would roll up their kurta and pop out the nipple. The hungry child would suckle and draw the nourishing drops of life. They also won’t bear the sight of the child crying of hunger in the buses and trains or at the stations. With a quick assertion of motherly guts, they would pop out the full-of-milk nipple, get the infant suckling at it, cover the area with their chunri while keeping their head still covered.

When they grew old, and their breasts hung down to their navels, they would tell the weaker young ladies of the modern age with their smaller breasts, ‘We can still squirt out more drops of milk from our old boobs than you the weak ones of the modern age!’

As the world of we humans gets more and more complex both within and without, the drops of milk are vanishing as the human physiognomy is changing under the onslaught of pollutants and modern lifestyle. A few decades down the line, maybe we will have all the babies produced in artificial wombs in the labs. The human body will hardly have the strength and capability to bear children naturally. But well that’s change. Isn’t it? 

The last day of January

 

The last day of January, a gloomy cold overcast windy day. And weather-beaten leaves drizzle like profuse leaf showers. It gives a sad autumnal feeling. A smaller water channel branches off to the north from one of the canals. It was a few feet of wilderness with its reed grass, bunch-grass and other wild weeds and shrubs. A kind of tiny refuge for rodents, reptiles and little birds among the well-managed cropped fields, where not even a single blade of unwanted grass is allowed to grow. The land is forever falling short in meeting the mankind’s needs. And the farmers need to have a more efficient water channel. It was clogged and hemmed by the wild bushes on both sides along the embankments. So it’s swiped clean. The bushes burnt and the small trees cut. Now it’s a clean path to agricultural progress. But so many little homes and worlds gone in a stroke.

A pilgrimage

 

There is an open large sewage drain, the mother drain of all the smaller sewage drains and nullahs in the town. It flows with its black, stinking sludge. An eliminatory canal taking away the waste and refuge emanating from the overworked urban bowels. People grimace and cover their noses as they pass by it. But this impurity is what defines the purity of holy waters. There are little temples nearby. Here the people enter, open their souls while breathing in the incense smoke in front of the idols.

I walked for a considerable length by the big open sewage nullah. It’s a strong smell: the smell of stress, pain and struggles of the overburdened humanity. It’s the heady stench of the mass transformation of life into mere struggle. I love walking by holy rivers. But this also is an avatar of the mother stream. The all-accepting avatar of primordial mother who is happy to accept all the dump Her children put on her. A mother unbothered about the urine and shit dumped on her by the infant child. My head spins due to the strong odor after fifteen minutes. But this also is a little pilgrimage for Maa’s blackened avatar. She is smiling even with all her filth because she is after all the very same mother whose divinity flows in crystal clear mountain streams. As I move away it seems as if I have performed a little pilgrimage.

Wednesday, August 14, 2024

The fun of fluidity

 

There is hardly any qualitative difference between what goes in the sky above and what happens on the ground below. The sky shifts. It moves, it sings, it moans, it sighs. Sometimes it's relaxing and pristine blue. The other time it’s gloomy, dark and dreary. Sometimes it cries and sheds tears in a torrential rain. The other time it sheds gentle tears of joy by drizzling over desert sands. Sometimes it floods with a fury. There is light, darkness, shifting shades over clouds, clouds drifting and reshaping, clouds melting, clouds forming, clouds vanishing, winds, breeze. It’s a flow. There is something of everything in it.

The same happens below, as if it’s merely a reflection of the sky in the pools of earth below. There is sadness, joy, victory, failure, meetings, partings, smiles, tears, making, unmaking, falling in love, falling out of it, birth, death—an endless shifting. The sky leaves a deep imprint of its ever-shifting shades on the earth below. See the clouds melting in the sky, watch them daily. It’s such a big message written on the massive billboard for us to read and remember. But usually, we are seeking needles in the hayrack and hardly lift our eyes to read and remember the message.

Don’t the clouds bloom, get colors, travel and melt? They shower earth with their melted self, become flowers, perish and again become vapors. This bubble has to burst anyway to take another form. But before that it has to be in fullness. It has to live. It has to be tossed around by chance winds. It has to seek its way, its course. It has to do justice to its existence. And then it has to happily and lovingly give way to new shapes. But it can always remind itself that it was, is and will forever be in the shifting shades and shapes.

Monday, August 12, 2024

The charm of solitary walks

 

The solitary walks on sunny winter afternoons allow you to soak in the last traces of seclusion still available in the farming countryside that is now showing visible signs of getting stretched to utilize every square yard as the population further increases and the landholdings get further squeezed. We are now the most populous nation on the earth. As I take my steps away from the human hubbub at the village, a tiny canine lad daily harks my attention from its post. It’s a vacant plot on the fringes of the village serving as a dumpsite. The heaps of plastic waste and other discards show the ugliness of what we have consumed. This is the tiny canine baby’s territory. It has reasons to defend it for this site provides it the survival crumbs. He means to defend it and barks with shrill, childish notes.

Further on, there are three puppies at a path-side farm shelter, all itchy, who also mean to defend their bastion. They bark with irritation, itchy complaining and whining bursts. Well, they have a good reason to bark. I don’t mind it. They have a hard life and barking maybe relieves their pain.

The further I move on the dusty path, and lesser the marks of tyres in the ruts, the more prominent become the marks of mother nature on the soft sand. These are nice designs, gently looping lines, curves and circles. A picture of sustenance on the soft sands of life. The long-legged birds like water-hen and lapwing leave a floral trail on the brown sand. Titeeri (red-wattled lapwing) is a slender-legged bronze-brown beauty with white, black and crimson fleshy wattle. It’s an irritating complainer with its famous ‘did-he-do-it’ calls. It can fly well but its long legs inspire it to walk and run a lot. It’s a crazy vigilante, keeping watch almost twenty-four hours, spots intrusion and raises noisy alarm against any transgression into its domain covering a few fields. It lays eggs in the farms among little clods of earth. There it defends its territory around the little open hollow containing its greyish brown blotched eggs, matching the earth to almost perfection.

There are few such vigilantes loitering along the path. They think it’s their path; I consider it mine. They daily snub me pretty vociferously for loitering around unnecessarily.

The lapwing leaves a nice design of its walking trail on the sand, slightly less aesthetic than a moorhen. There is a group of five-six doves, flitting around peacefully, peeping from their perch on the electricity wires, sailing over the yellow of mustard and the green of wheat. The mere survival of a little group of doves, so unassuming and docile, confirms the fact that there are still little niches left for the docile people to survive in this angrier world.   

To the north of the path that I take for my solitary walks, about a kilometer and half away, around the marshy loop of fallow lands, due to its low-lying character and hence being unsuitable for tillage, a group of four sarus cranes comes visiting during the winters. They will come till our needs force us to use that little sanctuary as well. But with the arrival of winters, it’s reassuring to hear their far-sailing, loud trumpeting calls reaching my ears as the afternoon yields its pale sunrays to the evening mists. They are a tall grey bird with long, bare red legs and a red head. Their slow rhythmical wing strokes, the neck determinedly stretched ahead and long legs trailing behind like an expert air swimmer bring them annually to this little hideout every year.

As I move further over the still smaller foot tracks bearing still lesser human footprints and more of the birds, rodents and insects, it boosts the sense of solitude manifold. The cranes’ trumpeting calls go sailing over my head and merge with the setting red disk of the sun across the silvery thin veil of mist above the green, yellow and white in the fields.  

There are some clumps of grass and trees along the field channels for irrigation, little patches of fallow lands and the narrow ribbon of scrub forest between the canals. This is all that stands for the countryside wilderness presently. A jungle cat is the top predator of this terribly shorn—shorn like a sheep—wilderness. I have seen it flitting across the shrubbery a few times. It’s, I guess, about one-and-half times bigger than the feral cats in the village, its ears bigger and tautly erect, tail bushy with greyish dark bands on its dark brown coat. It snoozes around for field rats and hares. It has reasons to be cautious as there are many dogs in the mushroom farms dotting the countryside. The dogs have bred quite impressively and I feel they are far more than their sustainable number. They bark incessantly and seem to be the front squad of the upcoming one more assault on the path of further taming the nature.

It’s a silent misty evening. On a leafless sheesham tree, a sad silhouette of grey, a group of birds is enjoying the sight of the dull-red sun-disk hovering over the silvery fabric of mist. It’s a surprising bonhomie among a few species of birds. The birdie watchers include a couple of crows, a dainty oriental magpie robin and a few smaller ones like robins and rockchats. The approach of twilight is really peaceful. All insecurities melt. I watch from a distance. Then the oriental magpie robin gets playful and suddenly sails down, almost pecking at the head of a lapwing standing among the wheat saplings below. The leggy beauty gets angry and gives a tittering call, hearing which all the birds dart away in different directions. It’s a world of shifting sands and scenes.

Mother nature will have her adornments even among the dry sandy soil, the last water drop falling a few months back, and the grass beaten dry by the cold and frost. But here comes a milestone. It’s a sandy path without even grass, but four-five flowering thistle (Mexican prickle poppy) stand in their snappy luxuriance. It looks like mother earth has developed a prickly, snappy, hard-pointing finger of resistance. It’s a hardy pioneer plant, drought resistant and a prince of poor soils. They have bloomed to full proportions and stand as mighty oaks of the grassy kingdom. I marvel at these sole sentries of mother earth holding onto their little patch of poor earth by the dusty path. Its bright yellow latex is poisonous to the grazers who leave it alone. But they say that it’s used in medicines. They flower in March, flaunting their yellow flower (kateli ka phool) as an offering to Holi mata in spring. They are offered in prayers during Holika Dahan. The seedpods resemble mustard, so some people adulterate the mustard oil with these seeds—pinchy aids for our prickly desires. This concoction causes diseases. The offerings from the so-called wastelands and their weedy crops coming to the aid of our rich crops and their suitable lands. Ours is a very needy mind. So the nuisant plant, categorized as an agricultural weed, still serves its purpose and utility in the scheme of our selfish designs. Its greyish white prickly leaves welcome me with my solitary step and tell me softly that we aren’t altogether ‘satyanashi’ as we are named in the local dialect. These little groups of erect, prickly herbs, their leave margins having prickles, each tooth ending in a prickle, pass me a gentle message that even the apparently lifeless soil has primordial urge to expand and evolve. The erect herbs, undisturbed and unpoisoned, seem a little self-satisfied world complete in itself; absorbed in its silent, solitary self. Their flowers are complete, i.e., bisexual comprising a functional male and female part within the solitary yellow flower. However even within the same bulb they need the help of insects for pollination. And the wind disperses their seeds to such undisturbed corners where the mankind is not at war with the nature, to spare them of the noxious herbicides. The herbs stand all braced up for a cold frosty night with their determined bluish green leaves, dense at the base, with the middle and upper leaves oblong and elliptic. The spiny prickles on the long arrowy leaves pass a soft warning by mother nature that I can bite if disturbed too much.

I walk further on. It’s a sandy upland, not too much under the farming assault. Among the dead trail of grass by the footpath there is dusty green little bouquet of sorrel, a perennial herbaceous offering of the potential in the sickliest soil to have a buffet of leaves branched out on the ground. Maybe a mouthful for some goat or stray cattle. But they hardly reach this point. Nearby is a leafy growth of patience dock (garden patience or Monk’s rhubarb). They call it a garden weed, but here this meditative bunch of leaves has all the time and space to nurture its patience to lie as a mark of life in the trail of dry, almost lifeless soil.

I move on and come across a clump of lantana grass. Lantana is an erect, branched out shrub, reaching up to 1.5 meters and covered with roughly hairy, pointed, toothed foliage. There are clusters of yellow, orange and red flowers in the same bush depending upon the number of days they have seen. As per our utilitarian index they are invasive and noxious weeds. Our grazing cattle avoid their leaves. But they are very sturdy skin covers for mother earth whom we are regularly stripping naked. I have seen just a few clumps of lantana here but they cover the entire low Himalayan foothills. I remember having stranded in a lantana covered hillside in the Himalayan foothills and I had to crawl like a jungle fowl to come out, bearing non-bleeding scratch marks all over my body. They are the defenders of mother earth’s last ramparts. We may condemn them as useless weeds, but we hate them because they stoutly defend mother nature. Looking at this lone lantana brings back the nostalgic memories of those mighty defenders of hill slopes from erosion and human encroachment. They may not have much use for we humans but their tiny fruits are a delicacy for the white-eyes, bulbuls and scaly breasted munias. These flowers possess some sweetness in their core as the butterflies flit over them irrespective of human prejudice. Then there is a lovely aspect to their existence. Some male weaverbirds would arrive and pluck lantana flowers to adorn their nests with them. These striking decorations attract the aesthetic sense of some female looking for setting up a home. A lovely tale blossoms, and a family starts.

Collecting the last traces of these still available gifts of nature among the severely tested and beaten countryside, I look with hope as the still larger line of wilderness running along the space between the canals cajoles me to walk further on.