Accept Change and Impermanence and Turn Sweeter

 

One of the biggest factors of bitterness in life, and hence an anti-dote to a sweet and loving self, is our inability to come to terms with the changes in our life. Positive changes we ignore and negatives are picked up by our haunted mind to get us dispirited and depressed. There is nothing permanent except the change. Let us come to terms with the shifting stage of life.

Randy Pausch: “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the game.”

As you realize that change as such cannot be avoided, we can at least learn to refit our sails to pursue our journey. Acceptance of change makes adjustments and alteration in attitude easier.

As you accept and adjust to the changes in your life, you can go a bit softer on your expectations from your own self. Don’t worry, it’s not going to turn you lazier. You will just become more realistic.

Your best isn't same under different circumstances. Your best in old age isn't the same as in youth. Best is simply best. Bitterness arises where you compare your best in old age to your best in youth. Understanding impermanence in real sense will help you in managing the agents of bitterness that breed regrets and self-criticism. As your situational boat gets tossed by changing circumstances, you can be your best help by avoiding negative self-judgment.

Keen insights into the law of impermanence provide a sweet wisdom about life. You simply cut on your suffering by avoiding guilt and heart-burn, as you have a more realistic assessment of your placement in life. You cut down on the feeling of loss as you realize that the so called losses were just meant to be simple effects of the unavoidable changes of life.

Nature is abounding with the proofs of the rule of impermanence. At each step you find tell tale signs of change. I use a very simple technique drawn from nature to strike home the point.

 To nail home the biggest truth about life—change and impermanence—I gather freest flowers of night blooming jasmine on a dewy winter morning. They are full of life and fragrance. I keep them on my desk from 7 AM in morning to 7 AM the next day. Twenty-four hours of change strike home the ultimate truth. Things exist just as interludes in the cycle of transformation: from armful to fistful...from coquettish smile to crumbling grimace...from the skies to the ground...from running to rest. It’s a very simple Zen technique to stamp home the biggest truth that we tend to forget while we boast, fret, fume and stomp on the stage of life.

As the grains of time's sand slip through your fist, be happy, enjoy, smile, love and care for those around, so that when you look back from your mound of dust you find it meaningful.