Be your own friend first!

 Most of us are tired and bored of being our own self. The 'self' seems almost a prison and we are always rushing out to beat our self loath and boredom by connecting with people who we assume match our personality cast. These people to whom we rush to beat our boredom are but our opposites because who would go and enter the same prison one is trying to get out. So when the connection and relationships also don't dilute the feeling of self loath, we put the blame again on outside forces, people and circumstances. No relationship will work till we are bored being ourselves. The problem is always inside, our ego but would always try to dupe us by putting it on the people and life circumstances. To be a friend to anyone outside, one has to share a beautiful bonhomie with one's own self. You have to smile within to laugh genuinely with others. You have to be comfortable with your own being first. Only then others will feel relaxed with you. The inner turmoil, restlessness and stress of just being the way you are takes a big toll on what we make of our life outside. The way we feel, think or act is the cause, not effect, of all the shit we find outside in our life. The cause lies within. The externalities are mere effects. And solutions start with causes not effects. So if the game of life isn't nice outside, accept it as an effect of something wrong within. To be a smiling friend to others, first learn to be friendly with your own self.

Look within

 Only those in suffering and pain themselves become the source of sorrow to others. The fire within has to burn the carrier's inside first before spreading its effect on others. Happy people hardly cause sorrow around. Observe the fiery pit inside, the primary cause of one's sorrows. If we become aware of its burn, we will stop blaming others for our miseries. Others are merely triggers for the fire to flare up more viciously at the most. It helps to remember that all our so called miseries of life are primarily born of our inner condition rather than the life circumstances and the people around. Long before the pain manifests on the surface, exposed by the externals including people, it already has established roots in our self, deep inside, nurtured by our wayward thoughts and emotions, the self injurious dose of negative energy that we ingest ourselves with in little little doses over the ears. So next time someone hurts you look within first before hollering at the person. 

Regular guys always win!

 IQ fundamentalists shut up! When we fall down, it's not our extraordinary and special talent that sees us through. It's the plain old spirit of perseverance -- common man's ubiquitous heap of normalcy. At whatever level you are busy writing the story of your life, keep yoked to your mission like a diligent ox guys. And the furrows of your very own life and living will follow.

Dump all preconceptions about breaking galaxies with the shining supernovas of eye-blinding heroic traits and feats. Be the proud little man who keeps working on his small-time mundane qualities with persistence and passion. And then you become the joyful sovereign of your little world.

Don't worry if you don't have the elite sprinter's lungs and leg muscles to win the 100 metre race and reach the podium to see your success through other's eyes. Nurture endurance in spirit and strive further and push harder in the slow-paced marathon of your very own life. Choose your own pace and the miles to go and give it all that you have. Sweat out to get a thumps-up from your own soul.

Hey all you regular guys like me! Stick to your little mission very hard. And you and me have as much chance of reaching the finish line as any other naturally talented guy has!

In the long term, grit is more important than smartness and natural talent.

How to defeat emotional turmoil?

 Feeling the pain born of relationships, emotional turmoil and all the related stuff? Well, it's never about holding people, it's always about holding ourselves properly...if we hold ourselves appropriately, we come across healthy relationships as well...others are always the side effects...main thing is us...when things are not manageable at the emotional level, because emotions are sublime and intangible, take a grip of the situation at the physical level. Holding the horns in a fight at the physical level is relatively easier because physicality is tangible. When one is feeling in gutters, give a best shot at your physicality...go into narcissism...yoga, walks, gym...do all and more... physical exercise cuts on cortisol, the anxiety hormone which takes us into the gutters of depression and emotional turmoil. If we try to handle things at the emotional level, or through Emotional dependence through relationship, we are missing the Bulls eye. Because emotions hardly have any tangibles. We just kick around blindly and go further down. Work out a fabulous physicality regime involving multiple streams. It will boost dopamine and serotonin in brain. These are the wellness and joyous h0rmones that will beat the pain of memories. And as a healthier and happier person we draw better life circumstances which includes better people also. Long before we allow others to hurt us, we have already belittled our own self by not actualizing our real potential. Stay on course for continuous self improvement and there is no better tangible, and easiest, and which is firmly in our grasp, milestone than a sweet battle at the level of physicality. Best wishes!🙏🏻👏👍🏻💐

One little step

 Robert Maurer says, "Fear and anxiety are normal responses to change. They rob you of clearheaded thinking. Action dispels fear. If you can take small steps towards making your change, you'll feel calmer." 

Well, an iota of action has the power to melt a mountain. It may mean just taking a deep breath or a single step or a smile. Biggest of action has to have its initiation. A slight pause, a deep breath, a little step, a soft smile, all and more are the foot-soldiers of massive change. Taking things head-on with huge steps triggers the amygdala in our brain, the flight or fight alarm system of animalistic survival, letting loose a chain reaction of negative hormones, which in turn clogs cerebral cortex and thus deprives us of logic and reasoning. Love your little efforts fella. They bypass the alarm system of panic in our brain. So much for a little step! It changes your life situations in the ways you can't imagine. Don't ever belittle your very own soft, cuddly little steps out of the scenes of difficult and problems. Sometimes, taking a little step decides whether we are alive or dead. A little smile decides whether a relationship survives or dies. A deep breath salvages a situation from the clutches of catastrophe. I just love the little man in me. Nothing heroic about it at the bigger stage. It but stage stealer in the little drama of my life.