Why do we want to connect?

Facebook and other social media platforms thrive on our urge to share and tell our thoughts, feelings, our mundane little stories which went unheard earlier. Earlier, it was the domain of the chosen few to get a platform to be seen, to be heard, to tell the triumphs and travails put forward by life. Now there is a pleasant cacophony of myriads of voices doing the rounds. These might appear almost inconsequential given their little appeal and reach among a small group. However, cumulatively they gang up, like little tributaries of a river to make a mammoth river. Remember, a rope is just a quantitative extension of a single sinew. A sea merely a numerical extension of a drop. These tiny stories, in the same way, decide the flow of major world events, including forming governments in biggest countries, making us feel somehow empowered in a subtle way.

No wonder we have this craving to get in touch with the larger world. Life has been crammed in tight schedules, leaving us hardly any room to be a part of the larger group at the personal level through intimate, warm interactions and relationships. So the vacuum gets filled by virtual socializing. Corona lockdown turn social media more relevant by the way! It is literally the lifeline for the caged humanity.

We somehow try to get some connection through virtual platforms to share, hear, laugh, cry, get angry and feel ecstatic. Main thing is that we have so much to share because the modern society is so complex. The items to share pop out from the Pandora box of the sophisticated modern life. The world outside is rapidly turning into a mechanical one, we but are still the very same flesh and blood humans having the age old urge to connect and socialize. It will take many generations for this urge to accept the reality of the changed world where things will turn as impersonal like the relationships among a group of cars in a showroom. Till then we will have replacements like we have now virtual socializing instead of the real one as in old days. In coming times, even the current level of virtual socializing will be too personal for the artificial world outside. We will then have a still diluter version of connection.

A Facebook friend raised this very pertinent issue regarding our urge to nurture virtual relationships through social media. She is a very intelligent spiritualist who has learnt to manifest her spirituality through social work also. An icing on the cake, I tell you. If you can work upon what you speak, you maximize your potential to realize and learn your lessons in this lifetime. She is drawn to the root cause of our helplessness in connecting and sharing, and that through impersonal social media platforms: “Well, there is something fundamental to discover, which seems a reoccurring reflection point in me and I deeply want to catch its very root: Why do we as humans share, write, post and need that connection in general?”

In my opinion, the need for that connection is one of the fundamental needs. Like the physical body needs food. The higher bodies, the higher levels of our self attached to this consciousness, have more subtle needs. The emotions, feelings and thoughts are the linkages through the energy body connecting to the spirit body. Ironically, they connect but hide the real from the illusionary both at the same time.

For a flight of freedom, the kite needs a connection, the cord. If the cord gets snapped, it dives to its last swirls and crashes on to the ground. Now the attaching cord and the freedom-seeking kite appear to be pulling against each other. A kite’s freedom is in flying. But can it fly without its cord, against which it is fighting to liberate itself to fly. It exists in a teasing duality set up by the bondage. Same is the need for connection for our soul. Like a necessary evil, just like friction. All this illusion and drama will stop without the apparently contradictory pulls and tensions of attractions, connections, talks, emotions, feelings, thoughts and the need to share them. As long as the kite retains the urge to claim freedom, which is nothing but attachment to the cord, it has to rely on the tool of bondage also. Of course, if it accepts the permanent settling down, the undying settling down on the ground—which unfortunately appears scary as death—it has to fuel its flight of freedom through the fuel of attachment, the bondage, the connection. If it decides to forget about the so called ‘liberation’, it doesn’t need the connecting cord to propel it. Then even death loses its meaning in the absence of the urge to fly. Both are merely states: one of ‘becoming’ the other of just ‘being’.

We also need this connection in its various forms ranging from the most intimate ones to casual to hardcore professional ones. We need this food for our emotions and feelings, only till we are on the path. Till we reach the destination. It's the fuel that propels our journey. I feel that that is what we mean by being human. We can connect in far subtler dimensions beyond the physical limitations like in case of other animals. Our vast network of emotions and feelings provide a huge network to formulate a huge stage of connections.

This quest for connecting with higher dimensions begins with our connection on the small plane of human connection. We are all aware of the possibility of some higher connection. All of us have this gut feeling about a higher possibility. A journey begins with a single step. This is our first step, a bit higher than strictly physical connection like other species. A natural course set out for the evolution of consciousness, by learning to connect on the smaller planes to reach higher and higher orbits of connection. To become part of everything by shedding all connection, to get grounded permanently. When we lose our fancy for flight, which we wrongly term as freedom, the connection turns irrelevant. Even if it exists, it exists naturally, like a tree exists. A state of just ‘being’ instead of ‘becoming’.

Why doesn't water rest on a slope? It doesn’t because it is aiming for the ultimate connection with the sea, the final merging. All along the journey, it connects with so many elements, furiously cuts and corrodes, surrenders to blocks, wins over obstacles and finally learns spontaneity. Similarly, consciousness in its journey of connection with super-consciousness has to move along the path and experience its journey. These fleeting connections along the way give support and solace to help continue the journey. I take it mere facilities of food, shelter, friendliness and safety as one moved along a caravan path in old times. These don't turn irrelevant just because one is aiming to reach the final destination someday. The destination isn't a single point. It's a linear process, right there from the beginning to the end. The entire journey is the destination. The entire string of connections is the destination itself. We get skeptical because we always divide things, like we separate destination from the path, while in reality destination is simply a process, an elongated journey.

So guys enjoy this journey to the ultimate connection through the path of these little-little sweet-sour relationships, tidbits of sharing and caring coming along the way. These are little guesthouses along the way where one spends the night, rests, recuperates and moves on. I would even avoid using the word destination. I would simply say, my path. And my path is defined by the things falling along it. It cannot exist in isolation.

I would suggest a little technique in this regard. Maun. Silence. Try to be off the radar for a week, if possible. No words, no virtual connection, nothing. Just you. Coming home. In that silence you will accept the innocent worldliness of this path, because that is what defines it. The path itself would appear destination. And all connections with externalities would appear like simple catalyst to help you connect with yourself. In Maun, in complete disconnection, may be the relevance of connection will show its true face. Happy be your path!