Wintery reminiscences

 

Daubed with dual shades the winter moves on. It’s a concoction of good-bad, pleasure-pain, joy-sadness. Laroop followed his drinking passion to the extent of pawning away the landed property, social dignity and domestic peace. But he earned something as well—the title of the craziest speaker and shouter of the words prohibited in all religions, castes and creeds. Most of these obnoxious verbal volleys were directed at his wife. I think he called her a ‘slut’ at least a million times in his life. But she had taken her vows as a bride around the holy fire to be by him, through thick and thin, come what may. As he created a mayhem of all civilities at public squares and streets, she would be always there like an unseen shadow around some corner or behind some column, keenly observing the vulgarized air around her dear husband. Let someone intervene to stop Laroop from his hellish torrent of cuss words, she would swiftly emerge and firmly stand between the keeper of social morals and the slayer of all civilized norms.

Then one day, at the age of roughly sixty-seven, Laroop, sloshed fully as usual, fell from a tractor and broke his back. He was paralyzed but God was kind enough to allow his tongue still wagging for letting out the still remaining stock of vulgarities. However, he was lucky to get his deliverance soon. The doctors had ruled out any chance of recovery. The gentlefolks said it was a respite for the tortured body and soul. Let’s hope he gets a good beginning in the next avatar. He left behind a genuinely grief-stricken and grieving wife. One gets habituated to pain and insults over the decades. The cuts and wounds take such a real shape that one draws one’s identity from them and gets puzzled in their absence. So maybe she still misses him much for all the insults he poured over the years.

However bad it was, but it’s sad to lose a human voice. But God is lenient to restore a voice that had gone mute. As I have already mentioned Kala had got a facial paralysis, leaving him tongue-tied. His hard-worked vegetable hawking skills lay abed. The streets missed enthusiastic hawking shouts at least, if not his not-so-impressive vegetable items. By the grace of God he has got his speech back after three-four months. There are auditory signs of a slurred effort in his hawking list. But his words, though slightly affected, carry enough clarity to convey the message.

He went for a desi treatment like most of the country folks do. I have seen many people recovering after taking the secret potions along with faith-healing by these people. They strictly forbid the patients from getting saline drops which the allopathic doctors do to begin with at the hospitals. ‘Don’t get the drips. If you do, our medicines won’t work!’ they admonish the patients. Thanks to their mysterious potions Kala gets his hawking voice back. He has to take medicines for at least six months. Let’s hope he becomes as fluent in shouting out his list as earlier.

Elsewhere, a pack of asian pied starlings keeps the neighborhood pretty lively during the bright, balmy noons. They chat a lot. Maybe they love this season. The pair of treepies hasn’t yet returned from the Himalayan foothills for the wintertime stay. When they come, they don’t miss to intimidate the smaller birds in the locality. Imagine their natural GPS system that enables them to track this small neighborhood on their journey from the lower Himalayas. There also they must be having a little home among the few trees on a slope or in a little vale. They would return to it after the winter stay. Imagine the natural sense of belonging to a particular place!

Apart from all this, dear readers, there is a tiny jingling addition to the world. Feeble, soft trills of baby birds are a welcome addition to any yard or garden. Although winters are usually avoided by the birds for adding to their families, but there are some couples who take the odd way. Like this pair of scaled munias. Their globular grass nest has little munia babies, sending their softly tinkering notes swimming in the air. The squirrels stay away from the curry leaf tree hosting the nest.

There is a cat in the house. The feral cat considers itself to be a pet now. It was a scared, scrawny, feeble-hearted dark grey cat. The elders would have serious issues about its suitability as a pet from many angles. But then a year-and-half old Maira finds it very cute. The cat is afraid of the grown-up stiff fingers but it’s comfortable with Maira’s soft touch. The elders thus have to adopt it. It’s a laidback cat, not much interested in rats, girl cats or nests. It’s happy to have chapattis and sleep. It means the munias have a nice chance of raising a successful family. Anyway the nest is beyond the reach of even an adventurous cat.

Living with choice

 The things that we usually eat for our tongue ought to tasted, not eaten. The food that we are reminded to take for our stomach, must be eaten, not gobbled. But we do the reverse. We gobble down the things that must be merely tasted. And we flimsily taste the things that must be actually eaten! The forces on the periphery of our existence create desires that always drive us off the path, taking us into the puzzling pathways, where we end up spending our entire life and energy in banging our head against walls and moving just by chance, driven by random forces. On the other hand, there is the option of living by choice. The ability to live by choice increases in proportion to the distance we create from the outermost peripheral forces controlling our life. The more we move away from the fringes, the lesser becomes the chance factor in life driven by circumstantial winds.

The smile is back

 Mexican Petunia smiles after months! He was Ma's favourite little plant son, dazzling with violet smiles almost all the time. She really appreciated and mused over this little soldier of smile's spirit in outdoing others of bigger brand-names. Then she left this body to be part of everything to keep her evolution in another dimension. The plant seemed to go into mourning and stopped smiling anymore. It smiles again! Ma is surely smiling and watching with a motherly muse over my follies! Love you Ma!

Kiss me quick

 The dazzling pink pout of Kiss Me Quick flower. Her slender body creeps across the intimidating underbush to offer a little bouquet of smile. All is well, she whispers! Love and smiles are always eager to sprout through thick stony walls, barricades and difficulties provided we have the pause to acknowledge them.

The seat of ego

 The huge sense of self-righteousness has its origins in a very little dark space in our egoistic chamber where mammoth ghosts of judgement and opinions burst to their seams. They have been suffocating in a little dark space and that's why they run wild to assert and claim more territory in other's mind once the door gets unlocked.

On a secret mission

 

We have seen many cows peacefully chewing the cud right in the middle of roads. They serve a good purpose. The rampaging motorists have to turn careful and slow down, for their own safety at least. We think twice before hurting a cow even involuntarily. So cows on the road is a usual thing. But what about a dog sitting right in the middle of a highway? Well, it looks a clear attempt at suicide since stray dogs hardly carry any faith-born protection like the cows. The red brown dog seems relaxed in the face of death hurtling past at so close quarters.

I also rattle past the stoic dog in my battered, old little car. I’m on a mission, a secretive mission. The winter is quite harsh for my middle-aged bones now. With each passing season, the winters pose a bit bigger threat to my ageing bones. I deliberate over the issue and decide to buy some brandy to take little teaspoons in warm water at the end of the day. People have a particularly clean view of my persona, so even brandy, intended to serve against cold as medicine, is as good as buying a contraband item.

The main problem is that brandy is available at liquor shops. You stand out as a hardcore drinker if you find yourself standing in front of a liquor outlet in broad daylight. I’m at a town near the village but I imagine the peeping eyes of many fellow villagers even on strange faces. I have to be quick and hide the secret item quickly in a bag I’m carrying for the purpose. Nobody would accept that you are buying just brandy from a liquor shop. Even the shop assistant gave a disappointed look when I asked for a mere ‘brandy’. As if I had demanded a kitchen knife from a cannon factory!

I go for a half bottle. He demands 500 rupees for it. I’m ecstatic as the little squat bottle is safely hidden in the bag. For another half bottle I decide to visit some other outlet to get some other brand of the product. But only one brand is available at the town and finally I buy the same one. Surprisingly it comes at 400 rupees. So the other guy duped me for 100 rupees. Then I reflect, ‘Maybe I saved 100 rupees instead of losing. Because had I purchased both bottles from the same outlet that would have meant giving 100 rupees extra.’ 

The lone ranger

 

On December 18, 2022, a Sunday, almost the entire world prayed for Messi to win the world cup. The prayer was heeded and Argentina won the world cup after 36 years. Huge celebration comes at the cost of pain in some corner. So sadly France has to sulk. One man stood between Argentina, or say the entire world, and the coveted trophy—Kylian Mbappe. He is just twenty three and has shown enough artistry to be the next soccer superstar.

Argentina had lost their opening match to Saudi Arabia but finished as the champions in the tournament’s final game. So a botched up opening doesn’t always mean a painful end. You just have to stay focused and give as much, in fact even more, as you would have given in enthusiastic spirits after a good beginning. Sometimes you end up with tears of joy after starting with tears of agony. These are irresolvable mysteries. And victory chooses you rather than you grabbing her by the wrist because there are so many chance factors—the ball hitting the bar, the ball getting deflected off the mark, the ball suddenly dipping, the ball going straight, somehow. All this happens mysteriously among a melee of chances. But one has to be there right in the middle of it to allow some chance fruit to fall in one’s lap.  

Eco-heroes

 

A virginal forest is cut on a pristine island in the Andaman. I’m glad that at least we are paying a lip-service to the cause of environment. The government plans to compensate for this loss by planting trees in the Aravalis near Delhi NCR. Well, the world seems to have taken the cause of environment very casually. The expression of loss falls well short of awakening people to the fact of irreversible damage.

It’s befitting the fabric of a humane self to grieve over the ecological loss. As a beacon of hope, there are eco-heroes who are holding processions, dinners, benefit concerts, readings and memorial rituals to mark the dents and bruises suffered by mother nature. They have put red gauze flags signposting dead mangroves in Goa. Artists and environmentalists are setting up monuments to pay homage to the lost species. As mega-floods, super-droughts and super-storms come out shrieking, voicing mother earth’s agony, soft and sensitive souls get under a pal of despair, depression and anxiety. They hold gatherings to commemorate the extinct species. There is a memorial dinner for Dodo in London; there is a candle march and handwritten posts for extinct and imperiled pollinators. Musicians, scientists, filmmakers and academicians express their sense of loss at the death of a glacier. A memorial plaque stands for a huge majestic tree gone extinct. An Australian artist composes songs for dying reefs. In December 2018, Olafur Eliasson fetched thirty blocks of ice from Greenland and put them at public squares in London to melt away, hoping it would melt the ice clods in our hearts also. In Canada the creaking sounds of a dying glacier are broadcast live through speakers so that the office goers know what they are walking upon; so that they realize that a part of earth is groaning with pain and agony. Somewhere a glacier stops moving, groans, cracks, melts and dies. At least some people hold a memorial ceremony to commemorate the dying ice. In Oregon a funeral for Clark glacier is held. A coffin full of meltwater from Clark glacier is ferried to the steps of State Capitol building. And somewhere far away a lone tree holds the last baton for its species. It’s Wood’s Cycad, a native of South Africa, the only tree of the species left in the world.

The essence of being human

 

Why be unduly bothered about the typical bugs of the mind like anger, hate, jealousy and others? Follow the trail of any of these, in an effort to track its cause or root, and it will take you to the same primary root. All the negative reactions of our mind, which make us feel guilty after their manifestation in the mind-body combo, originate from the same root. The restlessness at the core, prompting us to seek a higher self. If you have already started looking at your triggers of anger, hate, jealousy, fears, etc., it means you already view them as alien entities, strangers to your real self. You want them out. You aren't ready to own them. It means you are already on the path of liberation. Just watch them, watch them, watch them. And they will slowly lose their grip on your system. They will have a far less force on your system. They won't be impulsive enough to make you react.

It's not about their total absence. It's about their being ineffective and not able to dictate our lives. They pop up and are gone. They surface, like a thief comes at a market place, and are gone like the thief the moment he sees a policeman. Really knowing or becoming aware of a negative emotion or thought as it is and feeling its negative shades itself is the solution. Suppose there is some guy whose reality we don't know. He can easily dupe us. But when we know the truth about him, he won't have a big chance of duping us because we know the nature of reality about him. The same with these typical bugs of mind. The goal isn't about their absence. It's only about being aware of their true nature. Then they become mere bubbles. They pop up and are gone without leaving a big impact on our behavior.

Even saints have these bubbles in their minds. They will arise. It's their nature. But a sage's mind-body system is evolved to a level where these negative shades pass out without much impact. It's not about not having them. It's about making them ineffective. In the beginning with  action and stern look at them. And later, with practice, to ignore them almost on impulse. If we arrive on earth with an impulse to be driven by them, we can certainly develop an impulse to ignore them with practice. Then they may keep popping up. There won't be much turbulence in life.

Yoga, Kundalini-awakening techniques, bhakti, gyan and the rest of spiritual practices are meant to bring a kind of positive symmetry in body and mind's functioning so that there are more of positive neurochemicals and hormones such as endorphins in the body. That makes us further less prone to infection by the bugs of negative thoughts and emotions. These are spiritual immunity boosters, which make us strong against the attack by the things which we consciously view as against our peace and wellbeing. Haven't you observed that when we are happy and joyful—it means we are overloaded with positive neurochemicals at that time—we are less prone to irritation by the same stimulants that would leave us blasting in a cranky state of mind?

So all this is a holistic art involving strict observance, meditation, yoga, bhakti and knowledge; just like different types of nutrients needed for the body to keep the ailments away. Use these various types of spiritual pills to strengthen yourself against the bugs of suspicion, fear, discontentment, anger and jealousy. The bugs will always stay in your system and surroundings as long as you are here on earth. Just like human body cannot do away with the harmful bacteria and virus around. They are going to be there. So what do we do? We increase the immunity to leave them ineffective on our system.

The same is with the negative bugs of mind. They will be there, whether inside you or in the people around you. The task is to strengthen your system to an extent that they don't shake your emotional health too much.

Who are the siddhas? They are the robust-most energetic systems upon whom the usual bugs that we humans find so troublesome have no effect. But rest assured, they have their own challenges to fight against, the challenges of different categories of which we aren't aware. So the challenge stays. Don't ever dream of reaching a spiritual stage where challenges will vanish. They will always stay in one form or the other, just like the harmful virus and bacteria around.

Lastly, a smile itself kills a million bugs of the mind. So smile now!

On the strip of solace

 

Here I’m on my strip of solace between the two canals going side-by-side. There is water, plenty of it. There are well-watered reeds bordering the streams. Here at least the mankind is not at war to grab more and more land. This has allowed mother nature to bloom a thin ribbon of scrub jungle consisting of some trees, coarse grass and thorn bushes—a scrub and grass ribbon going like a natural lifeline among the pesticide and fertilizer smeared cropped fields on both sides. Walking on the little footpath, and looking at the red disk of the sun slowly melting into the silvery mist of the horizon augments silence and solitude to such proportions as would be sufficient to heal the scars on one’s soul.

The bushes and the reeds have plenty of prinias of various types. The dusky grey, rust brown and rufous earthy brown denizens of the bushy world suspiciously peep at this encroacher from the outside world. They flick their graduated tail up and down and jerkily go hopping across their home bushes to ensure that the enemy has safely crossed over to the other side. Some bushes have conversational, lively twittering that changes to a plaintive, sharp tee-tee-tee, asking me to go away. Little do they realize that I’m also looking for a bush to hide from the bigger, bad world of humans.

One particular prinia, ashy prinia, gives a kit-kit-kit call on being startled by my arrival. Maybe it snaps its bill in irritation to produce the sound. Another type of little prinia gives brr-brr-brr notes with its wings as it angrily hops among the tall grass to make sure the enemy has passed his home bush. They have woven with grass fibers (strengthened with cobwebs) domed or oval pouches in grass tussocks and weed stems. Theirs is a little world centered around a few clumps of grass and bushes. But there are plenty of caterpillars, small beetles, ants, larva to supply calories for their agile flip-flops among the bushes. And when they decide to have a veg supper, there is nectar from tiny wild flowers like Butea, Erythrina and Salamalia. But they have to be very careful till the end of the day when the last streaks of purple light are dying from the clouds in the west after the twilight. Greater coucal, a beautiful dark handsome birdie prince with rust brown wings, loves stalking them across the bushes even till the last rays of the day. He is hunting for their eggs and even the grownups if they get lazy. While most of the birds have started for their host trees and bushes, the coucal still lingers among the bushes. Maybe it stays just nearby to start hunting again with the next dawn.  

The grandeur of getting old

 

Why be bothered about losing youth? It's just a phase, an unripe one as a character says in Oscar Wilde's novel: ‘What was youth at best? A green, unripe time, a time of shallow moods, and slickly thoughts.’ There is no fun in wearing the shiny livery for too long. It then becomes a burden. That's why nature sees it off. But we carry it in the mind for a bit longer time. At least I did. But now the wonderful, gray, slow-paced times open their real charms. The aging gray lighter vestments of wisdom and age carry their own charm. They are very light, ripe and cozy to wear, and easy to carry.

War and peace

 Mankind's basic tendency is war, tension, strife and suffering. Peace is simply imposed against our will.

A scared writer

 Critics of Them, justified of course in your intentions and reasons, a word of caution. They are down but not out. As the saying goes, a King is a bad enemy, a worse friend, and a fatal family relation. So stay rooted while you criticize Them. They will hit back at the level you are, wherever it may be, anywhere you are, using the hierarchical powers suitable for your position and standing to push and prod you again into the hole. They may not do much to take us out of our miseries. But They will surely hit back! I have no shame in accepting that I am scared of writing or saying even a single word against Them. Because I know They always hit back at their critics! They have the power! And they expertly mean to use it against dissent. That is the hallmark of powerful Kings! Power has natural disposition for misuse. Here at least they are subservient to the concept of power. Power has power over Them. So my dear angry, cantankerous birds, take a pause. The fear of corona and the fear of Them are both essential to stay alive and safe. So play it safe! Lastly, pray, pray and just pray for all of us. We the common subjects of Them have no oxygen, no vaccine, no hospital beds. All we have is our prayers. So let's pray for each other. Let's use all our power of emotions to keep our boat afloat!

The common man

 While a plain featured Abraham Lincoln, struggling as a law student and part time worker, drew inspiration and ignition from his beautiful lover Marry Todd, his friend had a jibe, 'Don't you think you are too beautiful to be the wife of this ugly man?!' Lost in the common features of her man, she simply quipped, 'Common looking man is the best! That's why God has created so many of them!'

The master tricksters

 We are the master tricksters. To keep the hypothesis of abundance and material wealth, we basically groom "shortages" of various kinds. If no ever-existing shortages, how will the river of corporations flow? Does a river flow after reaching the sea? So it's primarily about keeping the needs, desires and aspirations above the things available. Always. It's never about fulfilling the needs. The trick is in keeping the needs going high and high, so that pursuit stays there by default.

Golden words by a friend

 Here are the most meaningful words spoken to me during the last few years---as I tried to steady my feet after the most irremediable loss of my life---by a Tibetan Buddhist Friend. Truth seems to have showered Her with the ultimate grace during her months long meditations in the snow clad caves in Ladhak. Thanks O seeker of truth for balming my bruised soul through such simple and succinct words:

"We have been born to learn about the love and impermanence of life, and we will have to learn this lesson again and again until we have eternal peace before every injury!"

A little slice of truth

 A tiny bit of blissful truth.

Somewhere in a secluded corner at Tushita monastery, Mcdlodganj..

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Truth in operation

 At the grossest level of existence, 'Truth' is a little candy held tightly in the fist of the hand that is 'Powerful'!

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Bondage in the name of freedom

 Long before we release our kite to fly for freedom, we tie it with the bondage of string. Before we set out to liberate ourselves, we enslave ourselves to dogmas, faith and beliefs. Is there any difference between what we take to be freedom from what we know as bondage?

Don't lose your smile

 And when the afternoon sunrays come to kiss the shy, shaded beauty for a brief flirtatious moment, she opens her heart and gives a full smile.

Guys, don't miss to smile even at those who mean to rob you of your smile. Our own frown eats our smile, not other's intentions!

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