Be careful about what you give others

 Pakistan gave them guns and terrorism. They cried with tears of pain and blood.

India gave them cricket, bat and balls and they celebrate with shouts and cries of pride, joy and confidence. 

Be careful about what you give to others. Give stadiums, sports and game tools to the people in violence prone regions of the world.

Humanity's future

 That's how AI driven society will operate ... It will be factually correct but the bear of mechanisation and automation will eat the real human.

Dancing birds

 

Have you seen beautiful, colorful birds courting their lady love? They dance, spread their amazing wings, flick tails in fabulous patterns and let out the best of vocals to attract and woo their lady love. With a negligible exception, it’s the males who go into a great eye-catching show in courting the females. There is a thrower of charms and there is a receiver of those charms. So much for the scheme of this polarity!

That amazing range of play-acted maneuvers (under the impulse of hormonal throw of energy) is not what the male persona is under ordinary circumstances. The show of romantic heroism is an exception; just an ecstatic throw of mood and attitude to catch the female’s attention. These are momentary sprouts. They don’t define the normal traits of a common bird in its day-to-day life. For the rest of the time they are simple birds, doing normal things just like any other bird of the species. And I don’t think the female birds mind that. They are lucky that they don’t have memory like women to remember all this dancing.

The restless male energy is always looking for rest in the silent pools of receptive female energy. She too is looking for the wearied runner to walk home and rest in her receptive folds. It gives a meaning to her life. It fulfills her. It saves her from the restless void, the procreative emptiness brimming with the potential to manifest and create new life forms.

There is hardly any difference between a colorful bird pirouetting in dandy mode using the tail and wings and singing best songs and a man wooing a woman. At the peak of hormonal storm, he jumps to fulfill all the columns of female expectations. That’s natural. But that’s not what he is in the normal state. He is a normal guy otherwise.

Under the patriarchal system, the man has convinced himself to be far superior to the woman. It’s factually very-very incorrect. There is a deep-seated acceptance of his inferiority and to cover that the system of patriarchy was built up. And to justify his patriarchy construct, he is trying his best to fit in the chauvinistic slot from as many angles as possible. When he covets a woman and goes into the process of wooing her, he adopts an emergency ploy to appear the best in all slots. He is helpless and it’s all about bright colors, bright dance, bright song, best attitude, best look, best behavior, best hobbies and much-much more. Truth and genuineness take a backseat. Falsehoods creep in long before we even realize. And where falsehoods creep in, miseries entail in good measure.

O thou poor dancing bird and the still poorer man! But a lady bird can be duped. The dandy can afford to be normal after the deed is done. But not so with a woman. She has a brain and a nice memory. She remembers the entire range of colorful somersaults that you have been doing to get her hand. And that becomes her benchmark to assess you. Now how long you will maintain the crest of your best version? Of course you will come down to a normal self as the fever comes down. Then you appear such a poor guy, almost a cheater who pretended to be what he isn’t usually. I think a woman can be more forgiving if she accepts that the poor guy was simply doing a wooing dance like a bird in the Amazon forest. He is simply throwing his message to have a partner. The content of the message isn’t what he is in reality. It’s just a catchy title to draw attention, like an eye-catching book title and its cover. The title might appear attractive but the story is usually mundane, very-very common.

The bird cannot be dancing forever at the best of its colors and the best of songs. Naturally it will become a common bird after the energetic storm is over. The beautiful parrot turns a boring crow. But brother, why did you try to be what you are not. You gave your best in wooing her and that raised the bar of her expectations. And expectations breed disappointments. She expects you to be the very same beautifully cooing and majestically dancing parrot. She is right in sulking over the dull crow cawing boringly by her side. 

The irony is that we get habituated to take the wooing dance as the primary characteristics in an individual, i.e., we take the catchy title as the story itself. Isn’t that a mistake? The excitement and thrill that one gets out of the bird dance is addictive in nature. We need to learn to be comfortable with normal people around us. We need to give respect and love to the ordinary humanity. Sadly we hold high expectations from people. To fulfill those heavy expectations he is all valor, grace, dignity, bravery, stability, unqualified giving and masculine handsomeness; and she is all receptivity, feminine grace, support, acceptance, care and share—both sides trying their best. Effort beyond a limit breeds artificiality. This artificiality then ends up in stumping each other. After all, how long will one keep jumping at his/her best? Ultimately we have to get grounded. The boring normalcy sets in. The dreams vanish. The colors fade. The songs turn to ugly croakings. Angels turn to dark angels. Then both sides part ways; look for new partners, expecting the thrill of wooing exception to be the everlasting normal. No wonder most of us are a series of broken relationships.

That’s why it’s advisable to be just normal, the real self, even during the phase of courting a partner. Stay as you normally are. Honesty is a highly undervalued trait in the modern society. But primarily it’s the sole trait that decides whether we are carried as a miserable junk into the cemetery or a peaceful corpse looking at whom not many people get scared. I remember the face my mother after she had left her body. She looked angelic and so beautiful in her eternal sleep.

If someone accepts you with your dull colors, weird dancing and funny songs that relationship has a better chance of survival for a longer time. Truth always serves well in the long term. It may appear to let us down in the short term, giving us little-little disappointments and let downs. But it saves us from major collapses in the long term.

One may wonder why this guy is preaching about relationships. Yours truly tries to speak from his own experiences. Experiential knowledge is very near to truth. I did my own set of fabulous dancing for seven years—just once in life and with one person only. I can feel myself almost boasting about the fact. It simply means I have to clear more webs from around my eyes to see more clearly. It’s wise to learn from one’s experience.

Using my creativity I built up a grandiose avatar, almost like a shining angel, and became the crowning prince in her big eyes. In flying too high I burnt my wings. So couldn’t afford to fly anymore after seven years. When I landed on the plane of normalcy, she felt cheated on witnessing my normal colors and mundane songs; her dreams broken, her shining angel merely a common person like anyone around, no longer able to maintain her beautiful dream. There was a normal crow cawing around her. But I’m happy that these are the days of women empowerment. She was confident, self-standing and glamorous, with a smile to kill and eyes that could intoxicate a dozen men with a single glance. No wonder, I saw her flying away with a beautiful swan that was flying in the seventh heaven to fill up the slots of her expectations. ‘You idiot, you too will fall one day!’ I cawed from the ground. Even as a self-believed spiritualist I am happy that he too fell within a couple of years. I take it as a mark of victory for having flown more than him. I’m not bothered about other men but at least I viewed him as a rival.

Normal cawing has its own benefits. It taught me poetry. There were emotional storms in the tea-cup, which I amply cashed by forcibly trying to be philosophical in nature. Lost love, or for that matter any type of loss, is invisibly preparing you for many other gains in many forms. There comes a day when you actually feel gratitude for those losses in shaping what you later became. You realize that those losses were meant to make you what you are today. So I respect the past without any grudges, but I’m far happier with my present and give due credit to all the experiences I went through.

I also realized that maybe I had punched far-far above my weight in wooing and actually winning her. But how long you will keep the arena clear of rivals if the girl is such a head turner that there are at least a dozen men dancing to her tunes with their tongues out? To match her big aura I too had acquired larger dimensions like a porcupine spreading its thorns to look more imposing. All said, as a man I take full responsibility for creating those expectations. And as Buddha said expectations breed sufferings—at one end at least, if not both. Most importantly, I’m happy for her. Why should men have all the fun? The women have been subjugated for too long and they have lots to cover up in enjoyment and normal fun which we the men have enjoyed so far.

Thankfully, I seem to have spent all the wooing fuel in one go. Wise people don’t need to repeat the same experience to get the same lesson again and again. As far as beautiful girls are concerned, I am able to impersonally appreciate them like a flower, with a pleasant detachment. I connect more to old women with their motherly aura and saintly faces carrying the majestic wrinkles of age. Maybe losing my mother is a far bigger weight on my soul than losing the woman I loved.

These days, while watching the colorful birds dancing and singing in the documentaries to woo their ladies I become very conscious, even embarrassed. I cannot blame them. All of us are birds in the same way. But I always wag my admonishing finger and mutter, ‘Son, take care! You will have to pay for this!’

And now on a serious note. Retain your simple colors, ordinary steps and normal songs while wooing a partner. If he or she accepts you with your normal stuff that’s well and good. If not, give it a damn and laugh at all the artificially jumping love-birds—ranging from the birds in documentaries to the people around you—and go giggling about this funny game.

An angry world

 

It’s an angrier world than ever. The world leaders are unleashing bombs and artillery fire that gets heroically displayed on television sets. Violence and the rule of gun gets more established as the predominant norm of the present society. In the US, a six-year-old boy shoots his female teacher at the school during an altercation. The shooter is so young that the state and federal laws are clueless about how to hold the shooter accountable under any form of juvenile law. The officials are sure that the gunshot wasn’t accidental. But such a young kid having a handgun in the class! It’s a city of 185000 in Virginia known for building navy vessels and aircraft carriers. The boy is too young to be handed over in the custody of the department of juvenile justice.  

An ode to silence

 You don't need to have just ears to listen. You can do it far better with your soul. If not this, why would one listen to the beautiful songs of silence in solitudional woods. The voice, whisper and songs of silence that come embracing you to console, to befriend, to comfort, to reassure, to rejuvenate. You need to 'have' a soul to listen. Of course everyone and everything has a soul. By 'having' a soul I mean one is aware of its presence, its lively throbbing, its guiding light, its essence, its imperishable nature beyond the bodily encasing. Its real feel, its vibrant awareness is what I mean to 'have' a soul. The trees, plants, grass, flowers, birds, snakes, earth, sky, stars and all and sundry have a soul. And they listen. I sometimes say a few gentle, appreciating words to the flowers and they smile better. Yes, they do! But you need to have a soul to soul connection to feel that. I tried it with a snake but it scampered away and so did I after that brief period of calling it a ceasefire along the human-snake line of fear-fire. The very same primal fear blocking soul to soul contact. The next time i intend to use the voice of silence and words of gentility through the eyes instead of oral words. It might work. You never know.

A lovely book of poetry

 We are born as little poems, soft, sensitive, pure, innocent...our senses open to the poetic wonder unfolding around. But then as we age we are cast into rigid, customised identities. We lose poetry. We leave behind that soft, gentle, fluid glow of humanness. The same happened with yours truly. I started as a poet but then on the hard anvil of life lost touch with poetry over the years. In between I would pick up poetry books but they won't sync with the hardcore fighting self in the battlefield of life. But I'm glad that I hereby come across a book that really touches one's poetic chords. Brief. Conscise. Gagar mein Sagar. Each word a tale in itself. Little lines embracing vast seas of emotions. Antraji is a renowned painter. Her poetic words are merely an extension of what she creates on the canvas. If poetry is a painting in words then there is no bigger proof than these poems.

Smoking @ 1 cigarette/year

 I'm not a smoker but I can't say that I haven't tasted it. I do smoke sometimes --  one cigarette or two at the most in a year. Never more than that. And that too when I feel I deserve this and have earned this right to cheat on myself and be a goonda for some rare occasion. 

Why do I do this? Maybe because I find the tag of a teetotaler too boring. I don't believe in too clean a slate. We have to scrawl our nonsense also. Sometimes. In celebration of our rare personal feats. It's just to be human. Completely denying something is one thing. It's a block. But saying no to it even with the choice and openness to have it is totally different. It shows you are in the driver's seat. (Disqualifier: I am not belittling those who don't touch it on principles. Smoking is bad, that's a universal truth, irrespective of the fact whether you are a chain smoker, teetotaler or someone like me who smokes one cigarette in a year.)

And even if I miss this one or two annual criminalities I hardly miss anything because I barely feel anything while smoking. The whole thing feels very funny. Imagine filling your mouth with smoke like an engine and then puff it out. Ridiculous...just like most of the addictions are. The book shared below is for dear fellow human beings who want to go smoke free. It's a really helpful book in the genre.

The lightness of life

 

There is a marvelous lightness in ‘being’ alive. The extra dimension of sentient life in matter (we may call it soul for simple reference) makes the matter very light. The same matter without this energy, or call it soul, feels weightier.

The birds are very light. Hold a living bird in your hand and you would marvel at its weightlessness. How can such a feathery thing accomplish such airy dances and sing-song chirpings!

A babbler entered the fenced yard. It seemed a suitable plan on the bird’s side to seek safety because it couldn’t fly. Maybe it was a sick babbler. It sat there on the ground sad, silent with a drooping beak. It would hop for a few paces and then rest. It sat near a water puddle and took a few beakfuls of water. I tried to feed it with a dropper but it won’t eat anything. When I held it in my hand it felt so light, just a winged representative of the air around.

It came in the morning and died in the afternoon. I found it in its eternal sleep in the flowerbed. As I picked it up for giving it a dignified burial I could feel weight this time. So there is a mystical type of lightness in being alive. Maybe the soul has a floating quality to make the matter feel less weighty while it’s in the body. The soul gone and the same mass feels heavier.

Maybe the soul is always acting in reverse to the forces of gravity, always looking upwards for expansion, always trying to expand and go up, trying to evolve into a higher dimension. Just like the lifebelts keeping the body afloat on water. Maybe that’s why it feels like to be in a cage, I mean that vague sense of being trapped, that niggling sense of something missing. Like air trapped in a balloon, floating the body around. And once the tendency to float, the inclination to expand, the urge to evolve—represented by a particular soul—is gone for a free float (before getting trapped again) the mass that remains behind feels weightier. Like a balloon would weigh more after getting deflated and the air gone out.

It’s marvelous that just one breath keeps us alive and afloat, keeps us in the category of the lightness of being. Maybe the soul is just a breath. But look at its divine component of ‘the lightness of being’! We can easily lift a living being. Lifting a corpse is far weightier proposition. The floater is gone and the stickler is left behind. Just one breath gone and we have a piece of relatively heavier matter. One breath in and we have a far-far lighter being.

So we have this iota of infinite freedom and expansion trapped in this body. It’s always trying to float freely, like the air in a balloon taking it in different directions. But that is the irony with existence. To manifest, the component of absolute freedom has to be trapped in the confines of limited ‘matter’.

But why do the free-floats, the individual souls, again get trapped in the body? A spiritualist once told me that all the surrounding air around us is full of free-floats helplessly, even jealously, looking at we the embodied ones. They look like jealous children at the embodied ones. Probably we love and hate the prison in almost equal measure. A kind of addiction to being something. And to be something you need a body. Body is acquired, then what. The one that acquires the body, the cosmic representative of ultimate freedom (the soul), has the fundamental inclination and urge to be free. It breeds a type of endless love-hate relationship.

What is ultimate liberation or freedom? Maybe it’s the state of a free-float when it no longer feels jealous of the embodied entities. When a sage quits the body in complete freedom, without fear, without any attachment, without any desire or expectations, he goes for a cosmic expansion, so large that it can no longer be trapped in a confined body. Because a fragmented individual disembodied entity cannot beat the greed of getting trapped again unless it becomes a part of everything that’s there. The wholeness cannot be lured to be confined to limited ‘somethingness’. 

Maybe this is what they mean by getting ultimate liberation by feeling all and everything within you. By acquiring this unqualified and unconditional trait, all that is trapped and non-trapped feels within you. Like free air feeling the trapped air in a balloon as a part of itself. So it won’t feel inclined to be trapped in a balloon to feel its existence.

So this body itself is the gateway to break the final barrier. It’s the portal to enter that unqualified state of absolute freedom. That is why they say that being born as a human is a blessing because we arrive qualified to pass the final test. Best of luck for the examinations of life! 

The fiction of scientific reality

 

Once you have a theory, you can surely prove it. Like it’s possible to move from Point A to Point B in infinite ways. I think the shortest and the most convenient path from A to B comes to be established as a fact, a mathematical reality. But that doesn’t mean it’s an absolute fact, or say truth. An absolute fact has to stand on its own, without any sort of assumption. To fix a portion of reality within our perceptual domain, we have to assume certain points, however hard the logic of any scientific model might be. And for that ‘assumption’ we create another hypothesis and find a way to prove it. We create proofs and facts. They don’t exist. We create the factual reality using our perceptual faculties. However, what definitely exists is an absolute uncertainty, an absolute sense of probability, an utmost potential, an infinity, an endless loop in which we generate our meanings.

Survival chronicles of a common man

Dharambeer has been very cautious and careful in life. He is an athletic, tall man, a kind of agile panther with both ends tapering to give him the exquisite appearance of an elongated oval figure. He isn’t portly but his stomach is wide enough to adjust unbelievable amount of eatables. Just like a python can struggle to fit a deer in its stretched mouth, Dharambeer too once put his best foot forward to eat almost five kilogram of tinda (Indian round gourd).

He was faced with a dilemma as he sadly looked at the over-ripe vegetables in his field. These could no longer be sold at the market because over-ripe tinda don’t cook well. Usually the farmers pick them and throw them either to the cattle or into roadside ditch. But the thought of something—belonging to himself—going waste severely jolted Dharambeer. He but had a solution. Nothing better than eating them raw. In accomplishing the feat he surpassed a medium-built buffalo in gobbling raw, over-ripe tinda because probably even the animal would have serious issues against finishing the entire heap. He munched with purpose, with steely determination, led by his fear of seeing his belongings going waste.

An elderly farmer told him later, ‘O my rich son, why did you put the seams of your stomach at risk by eating like an angry bull. You could have easily avoided the tinda from going waste even without eating them. Why didn’t you simply save them to dry under the sun to use the seeds for further sowing in the next season?’

He carried the same cautious attitude in saving every single paisa. Regarding the cropped land he went overboard and struggled to grab every square inch of land in the agricultural farms around the field-dividers separating his land from the neighboring farms. When he cut barsham fodder he became an artist. He performed the task with the delicacy of a goldsmith working on a little item of jewelry. Thus passed the decades. He had saved a few lakh rupees from all the sources including his little landholding and his job as the village postman.

Then his sons came of age. Like young energetic colts, they galloped quite freely. He had to cave into their persistent badgering about buying a car so that they could start their careers as cabbies in Gurugram. So the fruit of his lifelong care and caution was invested in a car. They drove it with enough youthful zeal to turn it into an old dented car within a year. Destiny has its unique ways of summarily disposing what we propose.

I feel sad for him as he walks very dutifully carrying his bundles of letters in the village streets. But I would term it as a successful life. His caution has kept him on a tight leash. He has walked very straight without looking sideways. A very disciplined life I would say, almost like a tapasya.

Cult leaders

 The biggest problem with Big Brotherly cult leaders is that they 'rule', not 'serve'. They float above the ground realities and cast a shadow that clouds the minds of the masses with downsizing rhetoric, jingoism, ideologies and vain principles. No wonder the blind followers lose 'independence of thought and spontaneity of action'. The collective mind of the subjects gets primed for a doctored reality where the cult figure is the ultimate saviour. No wonder the cult leaders have an inherent distaste for free thinkers, intellectuals, artists and philosophers. They just hate anyone who doesn't fit in the mold of doctored reality.

Feel thyself lucky buddy!

 Happiness is when everything is soaked in rain in the morning and the diligent boy hands you a copy of dry newspaper. You feel like proclaiming him a champion and yourself a lottery winner. You just grab your slightly damp, newsprint is so soft that it soaks some moisture from the air itself, like a prized possession. Life is not about mountains of mighty triumphs. It's about tiny molehills of such small pleasures. Learn to be happy with scores of little, little strokes of luck that come your way on a daily basis. Simple maths is: At the end of the day, the sum total of our little fractions of luck is more than the big shitty stroke of bad luck. Appreciate your tiny sinews of luck for they tie the rope of your survival and sustenance. If not for them things can go wrong in as many ways as the vastness of this universe.

Clarity

 Only the terribly guilty conscience will look at things through the moral--immoral dichotomy. Things are neither moral nor immoral. We just jump from this side to that just to help us keep believing in our very own meaning of life shaped by our circumstances. A person caught in the quagmire of moral and immoral is kicking to reach nowhere but self-doom. A clear, transparent conscience will look at things without the tag of either moral or immoral.

Relax...take it easy

 All of us have at least the choice to improve upon the worst in us. The littlest step away from the worst in us may turn out to be the biggest step of our life.

And don't hold any grudges about anyone or anything because in the end all of us are mere travellers on the highway who just accosted a fellow journeyman or woman, said hi, hello, or exchanged words and moved on the path of our destiny. Coming across fellow travelers on the path is merely incidental. It's not the destination. The destination is always for the lone self.

Looking to setup a home

 A wire-tailed swallow couple...seriously on a lookout for their mud nest...they make chipping sounds as if discussing the suitability of a little terrace porch facing this countryside writer's hideout-cum-writing den. Yesterday it rained a bit and they were quick to lay the foundations by ferrying mud from the street and sticking it to the wall. The swallows usually leave a heap of drops under the nest. So in order to avoid a heap of bird drops in front of my writing table I just stand under the new muddy foundations, giving them a message that there are humans around, expecting them to abandon their ideas about the safety of this place. But they don't seem to mind it too much. They sit quietly nearby on the cable network wire. They have learnt, I suppose, that to survive in this world they can't afford to be too shy of we humans.

On a burning day

These are the musings on a fiery day when I'm afraid that even green trees might catch fire any moment at the cataclysmic hot noon:

Basically, the main recipe of the dish involves dishonesty and fraud. The so-called honesty is just a tiny ingredient used as a spice while frying. But however bad the times are, the table full of rogue, fake, swindled dishes won't be serviceable if not for those tiny sprinklers of honesty. That's the power of honesty and goodness. Its little molecule can carry mountain loads of lies and deceit.

Basically, the main recipe of the dish involves dishonesty and fraud. The so-called honesty is just a tiny ingredient used as a spice while frying. But however bad the times are, the table full of rogue, fake, swindled dishes won't be serviceable if not for those tiny sprinklers of honesty. That's the power of honesty and goodness. Its little molecule can carry mountain loads of lies and deceit.

Conjugal snippets from the past

 

Tau Devi Singh looked like a Frenchman from many angles, fine-featured, very sharp, and very fair in complexion. He retired as a thanedar in Delhi Police. However, our Tai was the polar opposite in looks. Those were the days when to be eligible for marriage meant to be simply a male or female. The family elders fixed the marriage alliance. Who got paired with whom was as good as a draw of lots. It churned out, sometimes, very interesting, though very funny pairs.

One of our Buas in the extended family was a wee bit shorter than four feet, while her handsome husband was slightly above six feet. Despite all the incongruities, the mismatching couples somehow managed to stick around. It was mostly because the womenfolk were as inert as the walls in the house. The slow fire of dissent, from the one who felt to have been more wronged of the two, smoldering in little-little insults, tart words, abuses—a kind of dismissive attitude that fell short of pushing out the unattractive partner altogether because that wasn’t the norm. Divorce was looked down by the society but slow-torture of the unfortunate wife (mostly it happened to be the woman in the pair) was also accepted as a norm. So you stood a chance to receive social agreement even if you beat your wife but fell short of abandoning her altogether.

Honorary Captain Zile Singh looked like a son to his prematurely old wife with pinched cheeks and shriveled skin. She had a blast finally when one shopkeeper at the town market kept addressing her as ‘dadi’ and her husband as ‘bhaiya’.

Till his old age, Tau Devi Singh kept his baton of dissent wagging with full force against his unsuitable partner. Poor Tai was the primary target of his ire. He had a great justification for his mistreatment of his wife. Whenever I gently pointed out his harsh behavior, he would stoically recite Chanakya in Arthashastra: ‘Vidyarthi, pashu or nari/Ye sab tadan ke adhikari!’ It meant the students, cattle and women were best handled with stick and sharp words.

My grandmother died quite young. The surviving grannies of her times told me about Grandfather’s relish for abrasive behavior targeting her. She had a sharp tongue and he always had sharper hands. In his late nineties, when Grandfather was bedridden—he was on bed during his last year—we had put his cot under open sunshine in the yard. ‘Grandpa, why were you so rude to Dadi? They say you used to beat her!’ I asked. Frail and slowly biding a bye to the world, he looked into the skies with his dulled eyes and all he could say was, ‘Well, everyone did the same. Maybe it was more of a custom during those times.’

As Father grew older and frailer, he still had a very stingy tone for Mother. Mother was a strong peasant woman and she bore his sharp words with nonchalance and sometimes dismissed them with a smile. A few people of their generation told me that Father was worse in behavior towards her in the past. But she bore it very calmly like all the women of her age and times did. They had taken it as a custom of the times. Tau Devi Singh’s wife also accepted his stinging barbed arrows with a smile. ‘Tai, you never seem to get angry at Tau for his mistreatment of you,’ I would say sometimes. ‘He is already angry for both of us,’ she would smile, adding, ‘Well, that’s the way he is. I’ve always seen him like this. It doesn’t matter son. It would have mattered had I seen him better. Then the change would have been painful. Now it hardly matters.’

Our Bua—we had nicknamed her Chalti, although why did we name her as someone translated as ‘smart walker’ with her tiny legs is a mystery—also bore the lifelong ire of her handsome six-footer husband. Despite all the repulsive shoves and even kicks she kept sticking to him—there was no other option, where to go, how to survive, what to eat, where to stay. She bore him many children, all of good height except one who took to her in stature. All along these years, her husband kept throwing his tantrums and even utensils at her. It made her a very strong, stubborn defender against the agents of fate that would constantly tug at her ego to revolt. But that would count as spoiling even the little she possessed. During his old, bedridden days she took a good care of him. During the fag end of his life, when there was hardly anything else to do with either hands or tongue due to imbecility, he would still somehow manage to topple the glass and thus spill over water, milk or medicine she was making him drink. It was meant to augment the inconvenience to her. Whenever he did it, she would understand and say gently, ‘See, do whatever you want in this life. Abuse me, slap me. I’ll fulfill all my duties as your wife. But don’t expect me to bear all this in the next birth as well. In this life I can guarantee that I’ll do it all. But for future births I won’t commit at all.’

I remember this old man during our childhood. He had gone completely blind. His wife was considerably younger to him. His blindness got some advantage to the woman because now he missed his mark with his throws of brass tumblers. The throws from the rasping tongue usually mattered very little to these rural women. Unaffected by his tantrums, she carried her old man on their horse, unmindful of his relentless mutterings and grumblings all targeting her as if she was the source of all his miseries.        

Far away into the future

 

Be prepared, dear readers, for a world that will outfox most of your imagination. You will have babies in the labs, genetically customized as per your choices of color, eyes, hair and height using the techniques of gene editing. These, I’m afraid, will be like factory products. Gone will be the glorious gamut of uncertainties which the free flow of life presents.

On a positive note, they have carried out a nuclear fusion reaction that fuels the stars—roughly clumping, crashing atoms into each other, instead of breaking them as in nuclear fission. They were able to produce more energy than the input through laser beams. The technology is but in its infancy, almost like the maiden flight of a rudimentary plane by Wright brothers in 1903. The nuclear fusion experiment carried presently is the embryonic state of a plan that will eventually help mankind in producing one ton worth of coal energy from just one gram of fusion fuel. But to make it feasible it may take almost fifty years of more research. That will save earth from carbon emissions and radioactive waste. But will we need clean nature by that time? I think by that time the human anatomy would be mechanized—through bio-engineering—to an extent that would make Homo sapiens a hybrid of artificial intelligence, chips, artificial limbs and organs, synthetic nerves and lab-grown flesh. We—the all flesh and blood version of the mankind—will create something that would ultimately break our monopoly on this little planet. These super-human species would then look at our remains just like we analyze the skeletal remains of Neanderthals and other prototypes of humans that vanished on the path of evolution, leaving the entire planet under the control of Homo sapiens.

Christmas musings

 

Christmas. A warm sunny noon is the best gift by the snow-bearded Santa. It’s cold and windy but the sunlight infuses enough courage in your bones to allow you to go for a noontime walk on the solitary trail. There are three little skinny puppies by a mushroom hut. They already have a sense of owning a territory. A big dog turns in their direction and the tiny chits of puppies let out a full-spirited spell of growls and barking. The elderly dog is amused and stops. It looks at them with respect. It then turns away, allowing them to have a sense of successfully defending their territory. You have to speak up for your rights, even in the face of far bigger rivals. Sometimes they just give you respect on principle.

It’s a narrow cart track among the farmlands. There are bushes on both sides. I see a snake’s crawl line on the fine undisturbed sand. It seems a beautiful signature of mother nature. It must be a huge cobra. The crawling line is at least wide enough to cover my palm. It’s still the same old world with such big snakes somehow still alive and surviving. I respectfully look at the bush. Maybe it shifted position to sunbathe on the southern side.

The wind-breaker

 

Tau Chunni Lal was the reputed wind-broker of the village. He broke wind with great effect and that came to be his primary identity for the village-level fame. You need to break wind with good effect to become a village's numero uno wind-broker. His windy catapults were almost like massive cannon shots in comparison to the normal pistol shots of the rest of the villagers. And he was always very humble and unassuming in the art. Perfectly detached in the matter. I don’t think he felt proud about it. He wasn't even bothered about the reactions caused by his windy fireworks. He looked so free and natural about it, no pretense, no effort at hiding, no endeavor to appear, or sound rather, what he wasn't. There was a marvelous acceptance and spontaneity about his situation. As a free citizen of India he broke wind with utmost sense of liberation. Tau Chunni Lal comfortably lumbered through the street, unleashing the audible symbols of his freedom. These were hugely impressive, arriving in multitudes of rumblings carrying amazing range of pitch, notes, frequencies and volume. I think he played a great role in sharpening the linguistic intonation of our little tongues during our childhood as we put up best effort to imitate his sounds through mouth. It's good to be remembered. He wrote his little history on the windy canvas through the pen of sounds.

Musings on Father's Day

 What am I? A tiny bubble of air, a breath, a cycle of inhalation and exhalation. I die every time I exhale. I merge with the unbounded, free air. I take birth every time I inhale. Little bit of air then fuels this illusion of body and organisms. I keep dying and getting born in a sequence. The duality stands as long as the illusion of this sequence of birth and death follows and guides our sense perception. But the moment they coexist, dying and taking birth, side by side, dying and getting born simultaneously, in and out, out and in turn the same. Then you feel that you just are, a 'being' beyond all illusionary 'becoming'. A pulse, a rhythm, a reverberation, a drop in water, a molecule in air, a speck in dirt, a fragment in ether...something and everything at the same time. And most probably 'nothing' at all as the perception in higher dimension seems to indicate.

And as I cast a look into the sky, mighty Father seems to send a message on this Father's Day. It's a rapidly greying, gloomy world and the Lord has to hide and peep through a hole to spot any trace of truth and honesty that may be lying around.

The treasure trove of real self

 It’s a beautiful, fresh morning. A fox is on hunt in the forest. The sun is verdantly casting long shadows from the east. The fox gets drunk with ego and pride looking at its long shadow. “I must be really big and powerful to cast such a huge shadow! So little rabbits and tiny rats aren’t worthy of being in my big body! I have to hunt an elephant at least. That will do justice to my true status and standing.” So all through the morning it roams around to get an elephant. Many a small preys cross its path, but swooning with ego and pride it just ignores them. It’s not before the noon time it sees an elephant. The sun is hot and brightly overhead. The fox stands in the elephant’s path. But before it even realizes what is happening, the elephant swipes it away like a dust particle with its trunk. It lands at a distance very painfully. It now runs in panic. While running it looks around its feet and sees the tiny shadow clinging to its scared self. “How come I’ve become so small after the fall?” it wonders.

Holding onto the impermanent elements on the shifting stage of life is the cause of pain and suffering. The externalities are the moving shadows. They give the impression that they define you. But how can such fickle, impermanent, transient, fleeting, temporary things and phenomena be the component of our real self? Peace and happiness lie in connecting with the essentially real self, the substance, the permanent entity. It lies inside all of us. But is of no use unless and until we spot it, observe it, realize and acknowledge it. But if it’s not recognized, it’s almost of no use like the beggar who died wretchedly on a hidden gold treasure.

A beggar died in most wretched poverty in his hut. The place just reeked of misery and suffering. After cremation they just couldn’t bear up with the stench, so decided to dig up the place to remove the signs of misery. To their surprise there was hitherto unfound golden treasure under the hut. There was gold just a few feet under and a man who had met a slow, prolonged, painful death due to poverty on it.

Same is the case with the treasure trove of our real self. Find it, acknowledge it, nourish it to be happy and be at peace, or meet a painful, discontented death. Much as we run after the shadows, the centre, the pivot lies neglected. Shifting shadows never give permanent joy. So go down, unearth and lay bare the treasure you are sitting upon!

'Something' with a glimpse of 'everything'

 My tiny Tulsi forest! The beauty about lovable volition, the bhav of love, is that it takes you above physical limitations. With pure volition of love this little group of tiny plants is as big as Amazon forest. It becomes as pure as any holy site on earth. If you can relate and feel like an ant crawling through this tiny patch of holy leaves, then you of course turn a little child wandering in a big forest. It's only about bhav beyond acts, deeds, words, scriptures, holy pilgrimages. If you are in that bhav, this little group of plants instantly turns your Gaumukh, Badrinath, Kedarnath, Jerusalem or any other holy site. Right here, this very instant. A pure unconditional bhav takes you above the limitations of space and time. Karma gets unattached from your consciousness during those moments of pure volition and you have moments of liberation. Call it samadhi, enlightenment or any other words. Words are mere pointers. As I stare into this little patch of green and with pure volition muse over a little insect going through it, I'm a pilgrim going through a deep forest. As I take bucket bath and chant Ganga Ma's name with pure heart, I'm bathing in her holy stream. I don’t have any doubt about it. As I walk by a little ancestral shrine in the countryside and bow my head I know I'm having a Darshan of Badri, Kedar, Tirupati. If you establish yourself in that unadulterated bhav, Mother Existence gets everything for you right at that very spot. But we have to walk around a lot ultimately to realise and come back into stillness and divine pause at one point, that pure volition. Then you aren't anywhere but still everywhere. Then it hardly matters where you are, what you are, what others think of you, whether you are moving or not. The small acquires mammoth proportions to inspire holy awe. The big becomes small allowing you to marvel and analyse at the level of mind. Well, that's the beauty of pure, unlimited volition.

Bold beauty

 Yellow Hibiscus. Nothing beats the fun of helping blossom baby soft petals smile at their best even in this 40 degree plus scorching heat. Summer flowers have their own charm! They look at you with the message that even in the fiery guts of misery, there are possibilities of smiles, provided we don't lose our faith in smiles! To the hell with pandemic, here this baby smiles so winsomely even after getting fired by merciless Sun's cannonfire through the day! Keep smiling, adversities are nourishment for being our best version! We always have the choice of cutting the soot of adversities and keep it a smiling plant and not allow it turn into a parasitic creeper suffocating us to death.

Remembering a winter walk

 

You cannot be more welcoming than to the sun that shines brightly on a winter noon after dispelling the frigid fog that has eaten away the earlier part of the day. I’m walking with solitary musings on the sunlit trail across the still surviving thin ribbon of wilderness running along the thirty feet wide space between the canals. This and the still narrower lines of wilderness running along the outer embankments of the canals provide solace and succor—a sort of last refuge to some reptiles, birds and a solitary journeyman like me in the area.

A majestic cobra has sprawled itself in the open for sunbathing. Is it the same that had shed its slough a month back. I had found the seven-feet long snake skin completely intact from the tip of its tongue to the end of its tail. I keep it coiled up like a real snake in my library among my books. In case there is some book thief, he will run away after seeing a snake among the books.

I arrive at a bridge and take a narrow road running through the farmlands. There are mushroom farms. A big poultry farm is buzzing with plenteous cacophony of cocks and hens sending out dinning chimes of mortality and suffering. The stench of poultry feed and bird drops overpowers any sense of pity.

The yellow of mustard and the green of wheat show mankind’s strength and grasp over nature. The vehicles rattle past and the drivers find someone still walking slowly a misfit, or even a lunatic because only they seem to walk along the roads these days. Human legs may turn extinct over the coming centuries.

I reach the brand new multiple-lane expressway authoritatively cutting across the farmlands around my village. It’s all about more and more speed. The passing vehicles rattle your bones with the windstorms raised by their speed. The tyres raise a nefarious noise to keep you scared all the time. This is the same dusty little potholed road where we had seen bicycles, buggies and carts in our childhood.

There is a little puddle of water among the bunch-grass and shrubbery by the road. A coot, a moorhen and a lapwing still hold the post for the birdies. Further on, a larger pond is lucky enough to survive. There is algae on the surface. The black catfishes are stoically floating on the surface. They look awestruck and surprised with their mouths wide open. They are actually allowing the algae to enter their mouth, just like whales open their mouths while passing through the shoals of smaller fish. I would call it peaceful hunting.

The bush-covered waste ground where we used to roll and play throughout the day is buried under the cement, asphalt and mortar of the swanky new expressway as it loops around the village pond. The village pond has more water than ever but not a single water bird. There used to be thousands of water birds in it during our childhood.  Now it’s tamed under pisciculture by a farmer who has taken it on lease from the local body.

The banyan on the mound is scarred. The mound on which it stands has been chopped from all sides to create more water space to rear fish. Its strong, thick roots are exposed like opened innards at the water margins. The majestic tree is holding its world through three or four stumps, made of its hanging roots that have dug into the earth. The tree seems scared of a fall and looks to save itself by placing its hands on the ground as more and more roots are exposed to rear a few more kilos of fish. Aren’t we actually eating into our own innards?      

Settling the account forever

 

In its dealings with a person, destiny keeps its account book always open. The account is never closed from her end. It's always open. It needs a tapasya to close the account by the person himself, wind up the calculations forever, come out of karma's loop and take an indefinable shape on the canvas of eternity.

Sleeping in a cinema hall

 

Dada Lakhmi Chand (1903-1945) was a famous ragini and saang artist from Haryana. People call him the Shakespeare of Haryana for his folksongs. He nailed many bitter truths of the contemporary society. Further, the folk bard, in an oracular manner, sang about the harsher truths of the coming age also. Kaka Maharaj, who stays in a hut by the canal, is an ardent fan of Lakhmi Chand’s raginis. So when a movie based on the life and times of the famed artist was screened at the brand new multiplex in a mall at the town, I offered to take him for watching the movie.

He hardly leaves his hut and very rarely goes to the town. But he agreed for the sake of his folk hero. As I drove him through the town, he found it changed beyond his expectation. ‘It’s a new town altogether!’ he exclaimed like a little boy. He was stumped by the swashbuckling mall and still more by the elevators and lifts. It was all antipodal to his grass hut by the canal. But I think he graced the worldly set-up with his naked feet.

Waiting for the show to begin he had tea with a sense of bewilderment. It was a prime seat in the uppermost row. The movie was about the life and times of the great folk artist—a little biographical treat. He but had come expecting a full show of his raginis only. He found it meaningless and funnily dramatized. So he cozily folded himself in the chair and slept peacefully even among that ear-bursting din in the cinema hall.    

Wintery reminiscences

 

Daubed with dual shades the winter moves on. It’s a concoction of good-bad, pleasure-pain, joy-sadness. Laroop followed his drinking passion to the extent of pawning away the landed property, social dignity and domestic peace. But he earned something as well—the title of the craziest speaker and shouter of the words prohibited in all religions, castes and creeds. Most of these obnoxious verbal volleys were directed at his wife. I think he called her a ‘slut’ at least a million times in his life. But she had taken her vows as a bride around the holy fire to be by him, through thick and thin, come what may. As he created a mayhem of all civilities at public squares and streets, she would be always there like an unseen shadow around some corner or behind some column, keenly observing the vulgarized air around her dear husband. Let someone intervene to stop Laroop from his hellish torrent of cuss words, she would swiftly emerge and firmly stand between the keeper of social morals and the slayer of all civilized norms.

Then one day, at the age of roughly sixty-seven, Laroop, sloshed fully as usual, fell from a tractor and broke his back. He was paralyzed but God was kind enough to allow his tongue still wagging for letting out the still remaining stock of vulgarities. However, he was lucky to get his deliverance soon. The doctors had ruled out any chance of recovery. The gentlefolks said it was a respite for the tortured body and soul. Let’s hope he gets a good beginning in the next avatar. He left behind a genuinely grief-stricken and grieving wife. One gets habituated to pain and insults over the decades. The cuts and wounds take such a real shape that one draws one’s identity from them and gets puzzled in their absence. So maybe she still misses him much for all the insults he poured over the years.

However bad it was, but it’s sad to lose a human voice. But God is lenient to restore a voice that had gone mute. As I have already mentioned Kala had got a facial paralysis, leaving him tongue-tied. His hard-worked vegetable hawking skills lay abed. The streets missed enthusiastic hawking shouts at least, if not his not-so-impressive vegetable items. By the grace of God he has got his speech back after three-four months. There are auditory signs of a slurred effort in his hawking list. But his words, though slightly affected, carry enough clarity to convey the message.

He went for a desi treatment like most of the country folks do. I have seen many people recovering after taking the secret potions along with faith-healing by these people. They strictly forbid the patients from getting saline drops which the allopathic doctors do to begin with at the hospitals. ‘Don’t get the drips. If you do, our medicines won’t work!’ they admonish the patients. Thanks to their mysterious potions Kala gets his hawking voice back. He has to take medicines for at least six months. Let’s hope he becomes as fluent in shouting out his list as earlier.

Elsewhere, a pack of asian pied starlings keeps the neighborhood pretty lively during the bright, balmy noons. They chat a lot. Maybe they love this season. The pair of treepies hasn’t yet returned from the Himalayan foothills for the wintertime stay. When they come, they don’t miss to intimidate the smaller birds in the locality. Imagine their natural GPS system that enables them to track this small neighborhood on their journey from the lower Himalayas. There also they must be having a little home among the few trees on a slope or in a little vale. They would return to it after the winter stay. Imagine the natural sense of belonging to a particular place!

Apart from all this, dear readers, there is a tiny jingling addition to the world. Feeble, soft trills of baby birds are a welcome addition to any yard or garden. Although winters are usually avoided by the birds for adding to their families, but there are some couples who take the odd way. Like this pair of scaled munias. Their globular grass nest has little munia babies, sending their softly tinkering notes swimming in the air. The squirrels stay away from the curry leaf tree hosting the nest.

There is a cat in the house. The feral cat considers itself to be a pet now. It was a scared, scrawny, feeble-hearted dark grey cat. The elders would have serious issues about its suitability as a pet from many angles. But then a year-and-half old Maira finds it very cute. The cat is afraid of the grown-up stiff fingers but it’s comfortable with Maira’s soft touch. The elders thus have to adopt it. It’s a laidback cat, not much interested in rats, girl cats or nests. It’s happy to have chapattis and sleep. It means the munias have a nice chance of raising a successful family. Anyway the nest is beyond the reach of even an adventurous cat.

Living with choice

 The things that we usually eat for our tongue ought to tasted, not eaten. The food that we are reminded to take for our stomach, must be eaten, not gobbled. But we do the reverse. We gobble down the things that must be merely tasted. And we flimsily taste the things that must be actually eaten! The forces on the periphery of our existence create desires that always drive us off the path, taking us into the puzzling pathways, where we end up spending our entire life and energy in banging our head against walls and moving just by chance, driven by random forces. On the other hand, there is the option of living by choice. The ability to live by choice increases in proportion to the distance we create from the outermost peripheral forces controlling our life. The more we move away from the fringes, the lesser becomes the chance factor in life driven by circumstantial winds.

The smile is back

 Mexican Petunia smiles after months! He was Ma's favourite little plant son, dazzling with violet smiles almost all the time. She really appreciated and mused over this little soldier of smile's spirit in outdoing others of bigger brand-names. Then she left this body to be part of everything to keep her evolution in another dimension. The plant seemed to go into mourning and stopped smiling anymore. It smiles again! Ma is surely smiling and watching with a motherly muse over my follies! Love you Ma!

Kiss me quick

 The dazzling pink pout of Kiss Me Quick flower. Her slender body creeps across the intimidating underbush to offer a little bouquet of smile. All is well, she whispers! Love and smiles are always eager to sprout through thick stony walls, barricades and difficulties provided we have the pause to acknowledge them.

The seat of ego

 The huge sense of self-righteousness has its origins in a very little dark space in our egoistic chamber where mammoth ghosts of judgement and opinions burst to their seams. They have been suffocating in a little dark space and that's why they run wild to assert and claim more territory in other's mind once the door gets unlocked.

On a secret mission

 

We have seen many cows peacefully chewing the cud right in the middle of roads. They serve a good purpose. The rampaging motorists have to turn careful and slow down, for their own safety at least. We think twice before hurting a cow even involuntarily. So cows on the road is a usual thing. But what about a dog sitting right in the middle of a highway? Well, it looks a clear attempt at suicide since stray dogs hardly carry any faith-born protection like the cows. The red brown dog seems relaxed in the face of death hurtling past at so close quarters.

I also rattle past the stoic dog in my battered, old little car. I’m on a mission, a secretive mission. The winter is quite harsh for my middle-aged bones now. With each passing season, the winters pose a bit bigger threat to my ageing bones. I deliberate over the issue and decide to buy some brandy to take little teaspoons in warm water at the end of the day. People have a particularly clean view of my persona, so even brandy, intended to serve against cold as medicine, is as good as buying a contraband item.

The main problem is that brandy is available at liquor shops. You stand out as a hardcore drinker if you find yourself standing in front of a liquor outlet in broad daylight. I’m at a town near the village but I imagine the peeping eyes of many fellow villagers even on strange faces. I have to be quick and hide the secret item quickly in a bag I’m carrying for the purpose. Nobody would accept that you are buying just brandy from a liquor shop. Even the shop assistant gave a disappointed look when I asked for a mere ‘brandy’. As if I had demanded a kitchen knife from a cannon factory!

I go for a half bottle. He demands 500 rupees for it. I’m ecstatic as the little squat bottle is safely hidden in the bag. For another half bottle I decide to visit some other outlet to get some other brand of the product. But only one brand is available at the town and finally I buy the same one. Surprisingly it comes at 400 rupees. So the other guy duped me for 100 rupees. Then I reflect, ‘Maybe I saved 100 rupees instead of losing. Because had I purchased both bottles from the same outlet that would have meant giving 100 rupees extra.’ 

The lone ranger

 

On December 18, 2022, a Sunday, almost the entire world prayed for Messi to win the world cup. The prayer was heeded and Argentina won the world cup after 36 years. Huge celebration comes at the cost of pain in some corner. So sadly France has to sulk. One man stood between Argentina, or say the entire world, and the coveted trophy—Kylian Mbappe. He is just twenty three and has shown enough artistry to be the next soccer superstar.

Argentina had lost their opening match to Saudi Arabia but finished as the champions in the tournament’s final game. So a botched up opening doesn’t always mean a painful end. You just have to stay focused and give as much, in fact even more, as you would have given in enthusiastic spirits after a good beginning. Sometimes you end up with tears of joy after starting with tears of agony. These are irresolvable mysteries. And victory chooses you rather than you grabbing her by the wrist because there are so many chance factors—the ball hitting the bar, the ball getting deflected off the mark, the ball suddenly dipping, the ball going straight, somehow. All this happens mysteriously among a melee of chances. But one has to be there right in the middle of it to allow some chance fruit to fall in one’s lap.  

Eco-heroes

 

A virginal forest is cut on a pristine island in the Andaman. I’m glad that at least we are paying a lip-service to the cause of environment. The government plans to compensate for this loss by planting trees in the Aravalis near Delhi NCR. Well, the world seems to have taken the cause of environment very casually. The expression of loss falls well short of awakening people to the fact of irreversible damage.

It’s befitting the fabric of a humane self to grieve over the ecological loss. As a beacon of hope, there are eco-heroes who are holding processions, dinners, benefit concerts, readings and memorial rituals to mark the dents and bruises suffered by mother nature. They have put red gauze flags signposting dead mangroves in Goa. Artists and environmentalists are setting up monuments to pay homage to the lost species. As mega-floods, super-droughts and super-storms come out shrieking, voicing mother earth’s agony, soft and sensitive souls get under a pal of despair, depression and anxiety. They hold gatherings to commemorate the extinct species. There is a memorial dinner for Dodo in London; there is a candle march and handwritten posts for extinct and imperiled pollinators. Musicians, scientists, filmmakers and academicians express their sense of loss at the death of a glacier. A memorial plaque stands for a huge majestic tree gone extinct. An Australian artist composes songs for dying reefs. In December 2018, Olafur Eliasson fetched thirty blocks of ice from Greenland and put them at public squares in London to melt away, hoping it would melt the ice clods in our hearts also. In Canada the creaking sounds of a dying glacier are broadcast live through speakers so that the office goers know what they are walking upon; so that they realize that a part of earth is groaning with pain and agony. Somewhere a glacier stops moving, groans, cracks, melts and dies. At least some people hold a memorial ceremony to commemorate the dying ice. In Oregon a funeral for Clark glacier is held. A coffin full of meltwater from Clark glacier is ferried to the steps of State Capitol building. And somewhere far away a lone tree holds the last baton for its species. It’s Wood’s Cycad, a native of South Africa, the only tree of the species left in the world.

The essence of being human

 

Why be unduly bothered about the typical bugs of the mind like anger, hate, jealousy and others? Follow the trail of any of these, in an effort to track its cause or root, and it will take you to the same primary root. All the negative reactions of our mind, which make us feel guilty after their manifestation in the mind-body combo, originate from the same root. The restlessness at the core, prompting us to seek a higher self. If you have already started looking at your triggers of anger, hate, jealousy, fears, etc., it means you already view them as alien entities, strangers to your real self. You want them out. You aren't ready to own them. It means you are already on the path of liberation. Just watch them, watch them, watch them. And they will slowly lose their grip on your system. They will have a far less force on your system. They won't be impulsive enough to make you react.

It's not about their total absence. It's about their being ineffective and not able to dictate our lives. They pop up and are gone. They surface, like a thief comes at a market place, and are gone like the thief the moment he sees a policeman. Really knowing or becoming aware of a negative emotion or thought as it is and feeling its negative shades itself is the solution. Suppose there is some guy whose reality we don't know. He can easily dupe us. But when we know the truth about him, he won't have a big chance of duping us because we know the nature of reality about him. The same with these typical bugs of mind. The goal isn't about their absence. It's only about being aware of their true nature. Then they become mere bubbles. They pop up and are gone without leaving a big impact on our behavior.

Even saints have these bubbles in their minds. They will arise. It's their nature. But a sage's mind-body system is evolved to a level where these negative shades pass out without much impact. It's not about not having them. It's about making them ineffective. In the beginning with  action and stern look at them. And later, with practice, to ignore them almost on impulse. If we arrive on earth with an impulse to be driven by them, we can certainly develop an impulse to ignore them with practice. Then they may keep popping up. There won't be much turbulence in life.

Yoga, Kundalini-awakening techniques, bhakti, gyan and the rest of spiritual practices are meant to bring a kind of positive symmetry in body and mind's functioning so that there are more of positive neurochemicals and hormones such as endorphins in the body. That makes us further less prone to infection by the bugs of negative thoughts and emotions. These are spiritual immunity boosters, which make us strong against the attack by the things which we consciously view as against our peace and wellbeing. Haven't you observed that when we are happy and joyful—it means we are overloaded with positive neurochemicals at that time—we are less prone to irritation by the same stimulants that would leave us blasting in a cranky state of mind?

So all this is a holistic art involving strict observance, meditation, yoga, bhakti and knowledge; just like different types of nutrients needed for the body to keep the ailments away. Use these various types of spiritual pills to strengthen yourself against the bugs of suspicion, fear, discontentment, anger and jealousy. The bugs will always stay in your system and surroundings as long as you are here on earth. Just like human body cannot do away with the harmful bacteria and virus around. They are going to be there. So what do we do? We increase the immunity to leave them ineffective on our system.

The same is with the negative bugs of mind. They will be there, whether inside you or in the people around you. The task is to strengthen your system to an extent that they don't shake your emotional health too much.

Who are the siddhas? They are the robust-most energetic systems upon whom the usual bugs that we humans find so troublesome have no effect. But rest assured, they have their own challenges to fight against, the challenges of different categories of which we aren't aware. So the challenge stays. Don't ever dream of reaching a spiritual stage where challenges will vanish. They will always stay in one form or the other, just like the harmful virus and bacteria around.

Lastly, a smile itself kills a million bugs of the mind. So smile now!

On the strip of solace

 

Here I’m on my strip of solace between the two canals going side-by-side. There is water, plenty of it. There are well-watered reeds bordering the streams. Here at least the mankind is not at war to grab more and more land. This has allowed mother nature to bloom a thin ribbon of scrub jungle consisting of some trees, coarse grass and thorn bushes—a scrub and grass ribbon going like a natural lifeline among the pesticide and fertilizer smeared cropped fields on both sides. Walking on the little footpath, and looking at the red disk of the sun slowly melting into the silvery mist of the horizon augments silence and solitude to such proportions as would be sufficient to heal the scars on one’s soul.

The bushes and the reeds have plenty of prinias of various types. The dusky grey, rust brown and rufous earthy brown denizens of the bushy world suspiciously peep at this encroacher from the outside world. They flick their graduated tail up and down and jerkily go hopping across their home bushes to ensure that the enemy has safely crossed over to the other side. Some bushes have conversational, lively twittering that changes to a plaintive, sharp tee-tee-tee, asking me to go away. Little do they realize that I’m also looking for a bush to hide from the bigger, bad world of humans.

One particular prinia, ashy prinia, gives a kit-kit-kit call on being startled by my arrival. Maybe it snaps its bill in irritation to produce the sound. Another type of little prinia gives brr-brr-brr notes with its wings as it angrily hops among the tall grass to make sure the enemy has passed his home bush. They have woven with grass fibers (strengthened with cobwebs) domed or oval pouches in grass tussocks and weed stems. Theirs is a little world centered around a few clumps of grass and bushes. But there are plenty of caterpillars, small beetles, ants, larva to supply calories for their agile flip-flops among the bushes. And when they decide to have a veg supper, there is nectar from tiny wild flowers like Butea, Erythrina and Salamalia. But they have to be very careful till the end of the day when the last streaks of purple light are dying from the clouds in the west after the twilight. Greater coucal, a beautiful dark handsome birdie prince with rust brown wings, loves stalking them across the bushes even till the last rays of the day. He is hunting for their eggs and even the grownups if they get lazy. While most of the birds have started for their host trees and bushes, the coucal still lingers among the bushes. Maybe it stays just nearby to start hunting again with the next dawn.  

The grandeur of getting old

 

Why be bothered about losing youth? It's just a phase, an unripe one as a character says in Oscar Wilde's novel: ‘What was youth at best? A green, unripe time, a time of shallow moods, and slickly thoughts.’ There is no fun in wearing the shiny livery for too long. It then becomes a burden. That's why nature sees it off. But we carry it in the mind for a bit longer time. At least I did. But now the wonderful, gray, slow-paced times open their real charms. The aging gray lighter vestments of wisdom and age carry their own charm. They are very light, ripe and cozy to wear, and easy to carry.

War and peace

 Mankind's basic tendency is war, tension, strife and suffering. Peace is simply imposed against our will.