Likes and dislikes

 

I know it’s very difficult to like everyone around. We are primarily indifferent to the strangers. And that constitutes the major part of humanity around us. Then come those whom we know directly or even indirectly. Among these we have strong likes and dislikes for someone. Let’s start with the ones whom we dislike. Dislike is a pretty heavy value judgment. It leaves long shadows of emotions and thoughts in our brain that eat a lot of energy, block the smooth flow of pranic energy inside, leaving behind niggling tugs of restlessness at our being.

‘Likes’ also have their effects on us. Because likes change into dislikes as well. Change is the ultimate law, we shouldn’t forget. We create a web of dislikes to sustain our likes because the latter seem supportive to our identity. Ultimately both likes and dislikes have to melt because they are two sides of the same coin. But since dislikes leave direct negative impact on our psychosomatic system, it’s advisable to start with dislikes. Cut down on your quota of dislikes, gradually like a sculptor chipping away extra stones to carve out a beautiful idol. Chip away slowly. The extra stone of dislikes is a part of you. Accept it. But it needs to be shed to be the best version of yourself. This is what I mean by ‘making of oneself’. You have the choice to be the same monolith as you were born. There is nothing wrong with that. Just that at the end of the journey you feel guilty for having wasted an opportunity. After all, we have to pass in the court of our own conscience.

Try to be indifferent to the objects of your dislikes. The perception of someone as your enemy should dilute to indifference over a period of time. Once you have no enemies, you will automatically get away from the weight of friendly attachment. I mean you will still like those whom you consider your friends but your liking won’t come from your needs and a fear of support. It will be free of bondage.

Once you become indifferent to your enemies, you become more realistic and natural about your friends as well. You don’t hold too many expectations. Most of the time, our expectations and needs of security pass as our likes and friendliness. You still will have your core group of people who will stay irrespective of your attachment or no attachment. And dear sadhak, as you move in the middle of the path of likes and dislikes, equally distant from both, you don’t feel the rub and friction that you feel on the edges on both sides. Start with being indifferent to your dislikes. Then everything becomes the same over the decades of your life. It breeds a sweet indifference.  Enemies and friends melt in the same pot.

I’m no spiritualist preaching an all-encompassing love. That seems too idealistic to a common man like me. I talk about what is feasible. My only problem with scriptures of all religions is that they would straightaway ask one to be an earthly version of god, an all-loving, smiling, godly entity. It makes you guilty because you are human and would slip and the priests and scriptures stare like tough teachers in your conscience.

I try not to forget that it’s easy to say the most utopian things. But we are no gods. We are poor earthlings and we have our little journeys, the journey of a little species of nature. So my sadhna at the moment is just to cut down on my dislikes for my enemies, whom I sometimes feel like kicking at their bums for their errant ways, to a level of just mild irritated grimace, then to a slight burn at my ego, then to indifference, maybe later to forgiveness and who knows, if I’m lucky, even love them one day.

Dear brothers and sisters, why be a victim of too lofty expectations based on scriptural theses? I know I’m a work in progress. So why should I go itching for enlightenment? I will take my time. I decide my pace and feel happy if on the completion of another year on my journey I see some improvement. To be joyful about tiny gains is a wonderful art. I for one feel like celebrating the day when I am carefully walking and avoid crushing an ant. Why shouldn’t I celebrate? If I don’t have it in me to save elephants, why shouldn’t I turn joyful on saving an ant? Saving an ant keeps the hope of care and consideration alive in me. I’m happy with my little quota of kindness for it saves me from complete darkness.

Lastly, never take life too seriously. What appears on the surface is just an impression forced by our senses on the infinite pools of cosmic fluidity.