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Hi, this is somebody who has taken the quieter by-lane to be happy. The hustle and bustle of the big, booming main street was too intimidating. Passing through the quieter by-lane I intend to reach a solitary path, laid out just for me, to reach my destiny, to be happy primarily, and enjoy the fruits of being happy. (www.sandeepdahiya.com)

Sunday, August 18, 2024

A pilgrimage

 

There is an open large sewage drain, the mother drain of all the smaller sewage drains and nullahs in the town. It flows with its black, stinking sludge. An eliminatory canal taking away the waste and refuge emanating from the overworked urban bowels. People grimace and cover their noses as they pass by it. But this impurity is what defines the purity of holy waters. There are little temples nearby. Here the people enter, open their souls while breathing in the incense smoke in front of the idols.

I walked for a considerable length by the big open sewage nullah. It’s a strong smell: the smell of stress, pain and struggles of the overburdened humanity. It’s the heady stench of the mass transformation of life into mere struggle. I love walking by holy rivers. But this also is an avatar of the mother stream. The all-accepting avatar of primordial mother who is happy to accept all the dump Her children put on her. A mother unbothered about the urine and shit dumped on her by the infant child. My head spins due to the strong odor after fifteen minutes. But this also is a little pilgrimage for Maa’s blackened avatar. She is smiling even with all her filth because she is after all the very same mother whose divinity flows in crystal clear mountain streams. As I move away it seems as if I have performed a little pilgrimage.

Wednesday, August 14, 2024

The fun of fluidity

 

There is hardly any qualitative difference between what goes in the sky above and what happens on the ground below. The sky shifts. It moves, it sings, it moans, it sighs. Sometimes it's relaxing and pristine blue. The other time it’s gloomy, dark and dreary. Sometimes it cries and sheds tears in a torrential rain. The other time it sheds gentle tears of joy by drizzling over desert sands. Sometimes it floods with a fury. There is light, darkness, shifting shades over clouds, clouds drifting and reshaping, clouds melting, clouds forming, clouds vanishing, winds, breeze. It’s a flow. There is something of everything in it.

The same happens below, as if it’s merely a reflection of the sky in the pools of earth below. There is sadness, joy, victory, failure, meetings, partings, smiles, tears, making, unmaking, falling in love, falling out of it, birth, death—an endless shifting. The sky leaves a deep imprint of its ever-shifting shades on the earth below. See the clouds melting in the sky, watch them daily. It’s such a big message written on the massive billboard for us to read and remember. But usually, we are seeking needles in the hayrack and hardly lift our eyes to read and remember the message.

Don’t the clouds bloom, get colors, travel and melt? They shower earth with their melted self, become flowers, perish and again become vapors. This bubble has to burst anyway to take another form. But before that it has to be in fullness. It has to live. It has to be tossed around by chance winds. It has to seek its way, its course. It has to do justice to its existence. And then it has to happily and lovingly give way to new shapes. But it can always remind itself that it was, is and will forever be in the shifting shades and shapes.

Monday, August 12, 2024

The charm of solitary walks

 

The solitary walks on sunny winter afternoons allow you to soak in the last traces of seclusion still available in the farming countryside that is now showing visible signs of getting stretched to utilize every square yard as the population further increases and the landholdings get further squeezed. We are now the most populous nation on the earth. As I take my steps away from the human hubbub at the village, a tiny canine lad daily harks my attention from its post. It’s a vacant plot on the fringes of the village serving as a dumpsite. The heaps of plastic waste and other discards show the ugliness of what we have consumed. This is the tiny canine baby’s territory. It has reasons to defend it for this site provides it the survival crumbs. He means to defend it and barks with shrill, childish notes.

Further on, there are three puppies at a path-side farm shelter, all itchy, who also mean to defend their bastion. They bark with irritation, itchy complaining and whining bursts. Well, they have a good reason to bark. I don’t mind it. They have a hard life and barking maybe relieves their pain.

The further I move on the dusty path, and lesser the marks of tyres in the ruts, the more prominent become the marks of mother nature on the soft sand. These are nice designs, gently looping lines, curves and circles. A picture of sustenance on the soft sands of life. The long-legged birds like water-hen and lapwing leave a floral trail on the brown sand. Titeeri (red-wattled lapwing) is a slender-legged bronze-brown beauty with white, black and crimson fleshy wattle. It’s an irritating complainer with its famous ‘did-he-do-it’ calls. It can fly well but its long legs inspire it to walk and run a lot. It’s a crazy vigilante, keeping watch almost twenty-four hours, spots intrusion and raises noisy alarm against any transgression into its domain covering a few fields. It lays eggs in the farms among little clods of earth. There it defends its territory around the little open hollow containing its greyish brown blotched eggs, matching the earth to almost perfection.

There are few such vigilantes loitering along the path. They think it’s their path; I consider it mine. They daily snub me pretty vociferously for loitering around unnecessarily.

The lapwing leaves a nice design of its walking trail on the sand, slightly less aesthetic than a moorhen. There is a group of five-six doves, flitting around peacefully, peeping from their perch on the electricity wires, sailing over the yellow of mustard and the green of wheat. The mere survival of a little group of doves, so unassuming and docile, confirms the fact that there are still little niches left for the docile people to survive in this angrier world.   

To the north of the path that I take for my solitary walks, about a kilometer and half away, around the marshy loop of fallow lands, due to its low-lying character and hence being unsuitable for tillage, a group of four sarus cranes comes visiting during the winters. They will come till our needs force us to use that little sanctuary as well. But with the arrival of winters, it’s reassuring to hear their far-sailing, loud trumpeting calls reaching my ears as the afternoon yields its pale sunrays to the evening mists. They are a tall grey bird with long, bare red legs and a red head. Their slow rhythmical wing strokes, the neck determinedly stretched ahead and long legs trailing behind like an expert air swimmer bring them annually to this little hideout every year.

As I move further over the still smaller foot tracks bearing still lesser human footprints and more of the birds, rodents and insects, it boosts the sense of solitude manifold. The cranes’ trumpeting calls go sailing over my head and merge with the setting red disk of the sun across the silvery thin veil of mist above the green, yellow and white in the fields.  

There are some clumps of grass and trees along the field channels for irrigation, little patches of fallow lands and the narrow ribbon of scrub forest between the canals. This is all that stands for the countryside wilderness presently. A jungle cat is the top predator of this terribly shorn—shorn like a sheep—wilderness. I have seen it flitting across the shrubbery a few times. It’s, I guess, about one-and-half times bigger than the feral cats in the village, its ears bigger and tautly erect, tail bushy with greyish dark bands on its dark brown coat. It snoozes around for field rats and hares. It has reasons to be cautious as there are many dogs in the mushroom farms dotting the countryside. The dogs have bred quite impressively and I feel they are far more than their sustainable number. They bark incessantly and seem to be the front squad of the upcoming one more assault on the path of further taming the nature.

It’s a silent misty evening. On a leafless sheesham tree, a sad silhouette of grey, a group of birds is enjoying the sight of the dull-red sun-disk hovering over the silvery fabric of mist. It’s a surprising bonhomie among a few species of birds. The birdie watchers include a couple of crows, a dainty oriental magpie robin and a few smaller ones like robins and rockchats. The approach of twilight is really peaceful. All insecurities melt. I watch from a distance. Then the oriental magpie robin gets playful and suddenly sails down, almost pecking at the head of a lapwing standing among the wheat saplings below. The leggy beauty gets angry and gives a tittering call, hearing which all the birds dart away in different directions. It’s a world of shifting sands and scenes.

Mother nature will have her adornments even among the dry sandy soil, the last water drop falling a few months back, and the grass beaten dry by the cold and frost. But here comes a milestone. It’s a sandy path without even grass, but four-five flowering thistle (Mexican prickle poppy) stand in their snappy luxuriance. It looks like mother earth has developed a prickly, snappy, hard-pointing finger of resistance. It’s a hardy pioneer plant, drought resistant and a prince of poor soils. They have bloomed to full proportions and stand as mighty oaks of the grassy kingdom. I marvel at these sole sentries of mother earth holding onto their little patch of poor earth by the dusty path. Its bright yellow latex is poisonous to the grazers who leave it alone. But they say that it’s used in medicines. They flower in March, flaunting their yellow flower (kateli ka phool) as an offering to Holi mata in spring. They are offered in prayers during Holika Dahan. The seedpods resemble mustard, so some people adulterate the mustard oil with these seeds—pinchy aids for our prickly desires. This concoction causes diseases. The offerings from the so-called wastelands and their weedy crops coming to the aid of our rich crops and their suitable lands. Ours is a very needy mind. So the nuisant plant, categorized as an agricultural weed, still serves its purpose and utility in the scheme of our selfish designs. Its greyish white prickly leaves welcome me with my solitary step and tell me softly that we aren’t altogether ‘satyanashi’ as we are named in the local dialect. These little groups of erect, prickly herbs, their leave margins having prickles, each tooth ending in a prickle, pass me a gentle message that even the apparently lifeless soil has primordial urge to expand and evolve. The erect herbs, undisturbed and unpoisoned, seem a little self-satisfied world complete in itself; absorbed in its silent, solitary self. Their flowers are complete, i.e., bisexual comprising a functional male and female part within the solitary yellow flower. However even within the same bulb they need the help of insects for pollination. And the wind disperses their seeds to such undisturbed corners where the mankind is not at war with the nature, to spare them of the noxious herbicides. The herbs stand all braced up for a cold frosty night with their determined bluish green leaves, dense at the base, with the middle and upper leaves oblong and elliptic. The spiny prickles on the long arrowy leaves pass a soft warning by mother nature that I can bite if disturbed too much.

I walk further on. It’s a sandy upland, not too much under the farming assault. Among the dead trail of grass by the footpath there is dusty green little bouquet of sorrel, a perennial herbaceous offering of the potential in the sickliest soil to have a buffet of leaves branched out on the ground. Maybe a mouthful for some goat or stray cattle. But they hardly reach this point. Nearby is a leafy growth of patience dock (garden patience or Monk’s rhubarb). They call it a garden weed, but here this meditative bunch of leaves has all the time and space to nurture its patience to lie as a mark of life in the trail of dry, almost lifeless soil.

I move on and come across a clump of lantana grass. Lantana is an erect, branched out shrub, reaching up to 1.5 meters and covered with roughly hairy, pointed, toothed foliage. There are clusters of yellow, orange and red flowers in the same bush depending upon the number of days they have seen. As per our utilitarian index they are invasive and noxious weeds. Our grazing cattle avoid their leaves. But they are very sturdy skin covers for mother earth whom we are regularly stripping naked. I have seen just a few clumps of lantana here but they cover the entire low Himalayan foothills. I remember having stranded in a lantana covered hillside in the Himalayan foothills and I had to crawl like a jungle fowl to come out, bearing non-bleeding scratch marks all over my body. They are the defenders of mother earth’s last ramparts. We may condemn them as useless weeds, but we hate them because they stoutly defend mother nature. Looking at this lone lantana brings back the nostalgic memories of those mighty defenders of hill slopes from erosion and human encroachment. They may not have much use for we humans but their tiny fruits are a delicacy for the white-eyes, bulbuls and scaly breasted munias. These flowers possess some sweetness in their core as the butterflies flit over them irrespective of human prejudice. Then there is a lovely aspect to their existence. Some male weaverbirds would arrive and pluck lantana flowers to adorn their nests with them. These striking decorations attract the aesthetic sense of some female looking for setting up a home. A lovely tale blossoms, and a family starts.

Collecting the last traces of these still available gifts of nature among the severely tested and beaten countryside, I look with hope as the still larger line of wilderness running along the space between the canals cajoles me to walk further on.           

Lovebirds

 





It's a much in love wiretail swallow couple. They are always together. It's very green during the monsoons and there are flowers around. They fly together, they sit together enjoying each other's company. It's a resident couple as I see them year long around my place and during the monsoons they set up their mud nest at the same place on the ceiling in the Varanda. They are very possessive about their house, especially when they have the little ones.  It's very difficult for even me to visit that place, forget about cats and predator birds.






Tuesday, August 6, 2024

Lightness of being

 

Who doesn’t appreciate the genius of Leo Tolstoy? Through his beautiful writing the sagely author continues to inspire millions even a century after his death. Undoubtedly he was a great human being. But his wife had a diametrically opposite view of him. To her he was the same normal, almost oppressive, husband. Does it mean that all of us are essentially the very same poor humans after we enter the privacy of our room, shed the clothes and behavioral bearing?

We don't just cover ourselves with clothes. We wear multiple layers of thoughts, attitude, behavior, calculating mind, scheming intellect and maneuvering to maintain an image. This is a subtle clothing. Hardly visible like the clothes we wear. But this is the primary steel armor that we carry with us. Maybe it’s necessary to wear it to survive in the struggle as a human. We have our jobs, duties, responsibilities to fulfill. There we need this subtle steel armor. But we get habituated to keep it on us, always, day and night, even within our walls. Its weight crushes relationships. No wonder we feel tired even while lying on the bed. Its weight crushing the soft petals of relationships. It challenges our own essential faith.

The armor is still sitting on our chest as we enter the domain of our intimate people where we are supposed to be open, free and light. So why not go for complete disarming at least within the privacy of our rooms, in our little intimate group, with our closest dear ones? Join them as a very light being, almost naked like a baby with all your vulnerabilities, flaws, fears, insecurities, anxieties. To feel very light, to be disarmed of the heavy battle shield, to almost float in your secure, personal bubble. Drift like a cloud with your vulnerabilities within the security of your cozy bubble. Lay bare your soul. Lift the iron chains from it. And just be. Becoming something is a necessity I know. But put it on as you come out. However, stay light, open, honest, frank and see-through among the people you trust.

Share your pain. Speak out your miseries. Shower your ecstasy. Offer your smile. Show your tears. Present your kindness. Drizzle your pure emotions. Then one can feel the soothing solitude within the safe bubble. Make your little capsule of solitude and peace among all this meaningless crowd and intimidating chaos. It can be done anywhere with faith, love, care and share among the chosen few. And float lightly in it, like a balloon drifting to the ceiling fan’s wind within a safe room.

If we make it with the ‘Lightness of Being’, it’s possible. Do it with vulnerable gentility, disarming smile, openness and baby-type nakedness after shedding the steel armor of ‘becoming something’ that we need to wear once we come out of our cozy bubble. Then go out with your behavioral clothing and perform the essential tasks and come back, put off everything and enjoy the ‘Lightness of Being’. This is the little workshop in the art of the ‘Lightness of Being’.

The enlightened sages are the ones to whom the entire existence becomes such a cozy bubble. The entire humanity becomes merely an intimate, warm bubble. They float freely without the need to become something. They shed the steel armor forever and turn baby soft. No wonder they float so restfully. That is a high degree in the university of the ‘Lightness of Being’. We the common people are in the schooling stage of the same subject. We have to pass the higher and senior secondary school exams in the art of the ‘Lightness of Being’. It’s a low grade examination. It doesn’t require research scholarship. It’s a tiny assignment—to enjoy the ‘Lightness of Being’ within a carefully nurtured little bubble. But believe me it carries the taste of the cosmic bubble.

Trainee fighter pilots learn and practice in simulated indoor environment and then fly freely in the open skies. If we learn the art and craft of the ‘Lightness of Being’ in our tiny intimate bubble, maybe one day we will be floating free among the vast expanses of this existence.