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Hi, this is somebody who has taken the quieter by-lane to be happy. The hustle and bustle of the big, booming main street was too intimidating. Passing through the quieter by-lane I intend to reach a solitary path, laid out just for me, to reach my destiny, to be happy primarily, and enjoy the fruits of being happy. (www.sandeepdahiya.com)

Thursday, October 26, 2023

A special tea

 Naresh and Kaptan surpassed other students in rousing the teachers’ ire at the village primary school. The consequences aren’t hard to guess. The teachers thrashed the students on principle, most of whom considered anything related to books literally an embodiment of evil to be hated with the full force of soul. The beatings and thrashings were highly ineffective in the scheme of making the students love or like anything related to studies. At the most, it turned student-teacher relationship in the bracket of intrinsic animosity. The students played mischief without fail and turned brave-hearts and thick-skinned. Just an odd one, like yours truly, terror-stricken with the cane and nurturing his pusillanimous heart, would cram the lessons and he would inevitably emerge as topper in the class. Just don’t fall into the mischief, keep your conduct praiseworthy and very soon you will be walking up the carpeted stairs of achievements and glory in the little, depilated schoolroom; your future waiting to rise to the height of impressive ivory towers.

However, the teachers should have known it better than asking these two rowdiest—and hence the most thrashed—students to bring tea from the little teashop at the small bus stop by the road at a distance from the school. Well, they went all happily, thoroughly thrashed in the previous period. On the way back, with tea kettle and glasses in their hands, the duo felt the urge to drink tea. They had a cup each, in consequence of which the tea fell short. The emptiness born of idiocy in the head is a huge playground for the innovation of mischief. The village pond with its green smelly water offered its help. They washed the glasses and poured an equal amount of green slimy water—having a great spicing of buffalo dung as the big animals wallowed in the pond, cuddling the chew with pride and prejudice—to bring the beverage’s mark in the kettle to its former level. The pond being the favorite place of the buffalos; they just love to defecate in the water after heartful swimming.

It turned out to be a special tea having some exquisite taste, as if the tea-maker had come across some unknown condiments to suddenly uplift the taste of his tea. All the teachers said it was unique. Only one of them said that there was too much ginger in it. The errant duo would continue getting thrashed for their revulsion to studies and continued to fetch the special tea. Thenceforth, mention tea and both of them jumped to their feet with a weird pertinence and would hand over the tea kettle with an acquisitive air as if they had a great role in the tea’s special taste just by being its carrier. Then one day the destiny created a chance to remove the streaks of ignorance over the teachers’ minds in the matter and one of them saw the real reason for the specialty. The enemies were assailed; the entire staff, invigorated with extra-special diet from the pond, jumped upon the culprits in highest earnest and thrashed them to their revengeful heart’s full contentment. 

The small world of a little boy

Nevaan is up for a hearty spell of laughter and he is putting a big effort to laugh louder than the cause and capability of his five-and-half years old lungs. I have been telling him some words of wisdom like we elders tell the kids. Now I realize maybe my words are the cause of his hilarity. So in order to justify his much-labored laughing I also start putting extra effort, bringing more buffoonery in my words and manners. Then he stops suddenly. ‘Mamaji, don’t disturb me! I’m laughing at something else,’ he informs me. The comic color instantly vanishes from my face. Like a beaten joker whose jokes have failed I leave the scene and look back after going some paces. He is laughing even louder now. ‘Mamaji, now I’m laughing real laughter. It’s real laughter. You look funnier when you aren’t trying to be funny,’ he throws a bright light on hitherto hidden gem of my personality.

Nevaan is inspired by a chef’s program on television. So he is reading out recipes and alongside making foodie castles in air. It’s a make-believe mouth-watering heaven of aloo-mutter-paneer-karela-lauki-subzi-pizza-burgers-cheese-sandwich. ‘This is my recipe for the best food in the world,’ he says. The name sounds otherworldly, or maybe classy. ‘So it must be super-costly?’ I ask. ‘Yes, not less than ten rupees!’ he brags. ‘But don’t you think ten rupees is too small for such a grand delicacy. It should be at least ten thousand rupees,’ I suggest. He thinks over and says, ‘Ok, ten thousand rupees then. But you have to give ten rupees also.’ Well, he is more familiar with ten rupees. That’s what we call being more practical.

Going with his relaxed ways, he reads very slowly. It seems his little tongue finds the words heavy. But there is a list that turns his tongue into the swiftest horses in recitation. It’s the laminated menu of a restaurant. Out on a dining night he fell in love with the masterpiece and we had to pay the owner so that he could carry it with him. Now this is his Bible, Geeta, Vedas all. The list unleashes waters over the tongue and removes the hesitating rust and there he catapults full force into narration. Samosa-kachori-dhokla-aloobada-bhajibada-breadpakoda-pohajalebi-rabdi-pavbhaji-chholebature-tikki…. It goes like the latest Vande Bharat train. Mothers are mothers. ‘How I wish they include a lesson on menu and recipes in the syllabus. He would beat all in that,’ hi mother sighs.

He has watched too many ghosts on cartoon networks and feels there are phantoms in dark rooms. He has to get his toy from a dark room. So he is all sweet words of request to me. ‘You are afraid to go alone in the dark,’ I tease him. He sits on a chair and implores me to go and get it. ‘No, I’m not scared, I’m just a bit more lazy. That’s it,’ he clarifies. So being lazy hurts one’s ego a bit less than being called a coward.

The washroom is in a corner in the yard. So he has to mend his ways after dusk so that the offended elders would not say ‘no’ to escorting him to the attendance of nature’s calls. But being a reformed boy from dusk to bedtime is too much. So he has to find some solution. In the morning one day I see him walking to the main gate with chalk piece in hand. I observe stealthily from across a corner. He has perhaps found the key to beat his fear of ghosts. ‘Bhoot! NOT IN!’ he has tamed the ghosts with the instruction on the gate.

The vacations are over and Nevaan is going back to his place. We are waiting for their train at the platform. An old man approaches and starts playing with him. ‘Give me money,’ he says. ‘I don’t have any money,’ Nevaan replies. ‘Then give me your shirt,’ the old man chuckles. I give him a coin on behalf of Nevaan. Now the old man is blessing the little boy and offering him the same coin. Well, neither Nevaan nor the old man is interested in a mere coin. Hard times. A coin has lost even its symbolic value. The poor coin is back in my pocket. There it requests a ten rupee note to take leave off my pocket and change its master. The old man is now satisfied as per the latest begging norms. He is a poor man from Rajasthan wandering on pilgrimages with little bits of charity money on the way. ‘He looks like my grandson,’ he compliments Nevaan in lieu of the ten rupees received. 

Tuesday, October 24, 2023

The lightness and heaviness of being alive

There is a marvelous lightness in ‘being’ alive. And a heaviness also that is beyond the dimension of the matter. The extra dimension of sentient life in matter (we may call it soul for simple reference) makes the matter very light. The same matter without this energy, or call it soul, feels weightier.

The birds are very light. Hold a living bird in your hand and you would marvel at its weightlessness. How can such a feathery thing accomplish such airy dances and sing-song chirpings?

A babbler entered the fenced yard. It seemed a suitable plan on the bird’s side to seek safety because it couldn’t fly. Maybe it was a sick babbler. It sat there on the ground sad, silent with a drooping beak. It would hop for a few paces and then rest. It sat near a water puddle and took a few beakfuls of water. I tried to feed it with a dropper but it won’t eat anything. When I held it in my hand it felt so light, just a winged representative of the air around.

It came in the morning and died in the afternoon. I found it in its eternal sleep in the flowerbed. As I picked it up for giving it a dignified burial I could feel weight this time. So there is a mystical type of lightness in being alive. Maybe the soul has a floating quality to make the matter feel less weighty while it’s in the body. The soul gone and the same mass feels heavier.

Maybe the soul is always acting in reverse to the forces of gravity, always looking upwards for expansion, always trying to expand and go up, trying to evolve into a higher dimension. Just like the lifebelts keeping the body afloat on water. Maybe that’s why it feels like to be in a cage, I mean that vague sense of being trapped, that niggling sense of something missing. Like air trapped in a balloon, floating the body around. And once the tendency to float, the inclination to expand, the urge to evolve—represented by a particular soul—is gone for a free float (before getting trapped again) the mass that remains behind feels weightier. Like a balloon would weigh more after getting deflated and the air gone out.

It’s marvelous that just one breath keeps us alive and afloat, keeps us in the category of the lightness of being. Maybe the soul is just a breath. But look at its divine component of ‘the lightness of being’! We can easily lift a live being. Lifting a corpse is far weightier proposition. The floater is gone and the stickler is left behind. Just one breath gone and we have a piece of relatively heavier matter. One breath in and we have a far-far lighter being.

So we have this iota of infinite freedom and expansion trapped in this body. It’s always trying to float freely, like the air in a balloon taking it in different directions. But that is the irony with existence. To manifest, the component of absolute freedom has to be trapped in the confines of limited ‘matter’.

But why do the free-floats, the individual souls, again get trapped in the body? A spiritualist once told me that all the surrounding air around us is full of free-floats helplessly, even jealously, looking at we the embodied ones. They look like jealous children at the embodied ones. Probably we love and hate the prison in almost equal measure. A kind of addiction to being something. And to be something you need a body. Body is acquired, then what. The one that acquires the body, the cosmic representative of ultimate freedom (the soul), has the fundamental inclination and urge to be free. It breeds a type of endless love-hate relationship.

What is ultimate liberation or freedom? Maybe it’s the state of a free-float when it no longer feels jealous of the embodied entities. When a sage quits the body in complete freedom, without fear, without any attachment, without any desire or expectations, he goes for a cosmic expansion, so large that it can no longer be trapped in a confined body. Because a fragmented individual disembodied entity cannot beat the greed of getting trapped again unless it becomes a part of everything that’s there. The wholeness cannot be lured to be confined to limited ‘somethingness’.  

Maybe this is what they mean by getting ultimate liberation by feeling all and everything within you. With this unqualified trait acquired all that is trapped and non-trapped feels within you. Like free air feeling the trapped air in a balloon as a part of itself. So it won’t feel inclined to be trapped in a balloon to feel its existence.

So this body itself is the gateway to break the final barrier. It’s the portal to enter that unqualified state of absolute freedom. That is why they say being born as a human is a blessing because we arrive qualified to pass the final test. Best of luck for the examinations of life!  


A slim spring

 The spring is slim, a little crack in the windows when the bigger doors close and open between winters and summers. It’s a little blossoming phase between late winters and early summer. The temperature is already nearing 40°C in the second half of March. The small trees of neem, guava, parijat, karipatta, belpatra in our little yard are shedding leaves in panic. It’s a continuous crinkly downpour of leaves. They are avoiding loss of water because of transpiration by shedding their leaves. Dry golden-brown leaves make a loud rustling sound. It’s autumnal in spirit, just that temperature is increasing every day instead of falling like in autumn. But the keekars outside the yard wall are still in spring. A hardwood of arid regions they aren’t bothered about leaf-shedding. With each gust of wind, there is no harvest of dead leaves on the ground under them. One can feel a kind of desolation, slim weariness, a lithe tension as the sun turns hotter each day. The trees hardly think twice before shedding the extra stuff because it would extract bigger costs if not cast away.

Beyond the talks of increasing temperatures, in the month of March the birds are extra chatty carrying the songs of procreation. They sing a startling preface to resurrection of spirits. It turns a pleasantly noisy world before the onset of hot, pining summer. A male Indian Robin, for example, made such a rippling ruckus that it beat the purple sunbird in excitement and verve of quizzical notes. Despite all the man-born sufferings around, which we unleash with our anarchist zeal and principled arguments, the birds sound like they carry spectacular revival of spirits. But maybe they are congratulating the sparrows on the World Sparrow Day (March 20).

In a turbulent and notorious world, caught in the shadows and under the nemesis of the lofty thrones of powerful villains in leadership positions, the spring brings a marginal sense of relief to the poetic hearts. In a world shaken by wars and intrigues, it’s a relief and pleasant surprise to have a spring day named after little sparrows. As the supreme overlords, the deified faceless baddies, stretch their despotism to newer and newer heights, holding their plucky immortality in their razor sharp talons, there is still space left for the sparrows to make a comeback. About a decade ago, the village skies carried a strange stillness as the sparrows vanished from the skies. Our moral fulcrum crumbled to pieces under the hammer strike of our iron-willed, cemented, plastered steps to create concrete jungles even in the countryside and the sparrows lost their little holes. It’s a sweet surprise to see them back. Even their little flocks seem larger-than-life. They are enjoying the bright sunny day; a lot of chirpy gossips going around. Well, if you are lucky to listen to the songs of sparrows on the World Sparrow Day, you have reasons to feel gratitude for this nice little gift.

In lightening encounter with shimmering designs and colors, a peacock is in full plume now. He is unambiguously hooting his gospel of love. His fan-tail is spread laudably and the excited shake of passion shimmers and resonates through the colorful tangle of exotic designs. We have the king and his harem comprising three pea-hens. He is dancing on the terrace and they, giving respecting and revering looks, seem spellbound by his precious talent. Since the start of creation, the game of love, camouflaging as a gentler version of lust, pulling the enduring significance of propagation and evolution of species, has been the chief driver on the chariot of time. We can hardly comprehend the natural code of unrelenting innovation deceptively embedded in each and every ounce of space around us. The peacock gives a riotous shake of colors with love, lust and procreative passion.

The cool windy mornings flirt with warm sunrays. The flowers open themselves with a spirit of religious offering. Fragile petunias show a seminal spirit—red, violet and bi-colored (white and red; red and pink).

The nights have cool breeze and a few ducks, which had come to the plains for the winter stay, take nocturnal flights. Their soul-force guiding their need-based journeys back to some Himalayan lake, away from the abhorrent turmoil of the plains. They quack a ‘bye’. Peacocks and peahens hoot during the nights. During the day they perch upon the highest points on rooftops and look around as if lost in grander assumptions than the rest of the birds.

The few pairs of doves in the locality love being foolish. They are not to be impressed by the arrogantly styled stateliness of the weaverbird nests. They are contended with the same old house that has seen many tragedies in the past, the very same little, fragile nest that has become the common breeding point of the dove community. When unoccupied it seems a sublime memorial of a species’ looming extinction. The bird of peace looks in shock and awe of the human juggernaut. Caught in the dreadful constellation of unquenchable human desires, they seem to have given up and fulfill the formality of laying eggs in the same famished nest. From our standpoint I would call them most careless of birds. One can see the eggs just couple of feet overhead through the see-through nest. As if hurriedly saying adieu they lay eggs in the same nest one after the other. I haven’t seen even a single successful hatching out of dozens of eggs laid in the little clump of trees in my yard over the years.

The handsome oriental magpie robin that sleeps among the parijat branches at nights went for a nighttime dinner. The washroom in a corner in the yard invited him with its bright bulb. The bulb shone with its appetizing flair of mosquitoes and moths around it. The dashing, dainty guy sneaked in and ate to its contentment. However, it became greedy. At last, I had to put off the light unless the problem of plenty gave it gastronomical effects. In this way the tempo for the summers is building up and just a few weeks down the line the scorching, burning north Indian summer awaits with a baking glee.

The visiting rufous treepie is heckling with the native birds, maybe reprimanding them before starting for the journey back to some little wooded valley in the Himalayan foothills.

A sowthistle has touched the prime of its species. With an ecumenical spirit it has grown to a height of above six feet. Blinded by the exacting smokescreen of our greed-based models of development, we may have categorized it as a weed, but it’s as lovely and likeable to mother nature as any other plant of great utility to we humans. I have allowed it to grow among the marigolds. The marigolds have dried out, after a heady assertion of their blossoming spirit during the coldest weeks of January and February, leaving little saplings growing under the dead skeletal stalks of their parents. Among them blossoms the tall sowthistle, an expression of mother earth’s untamed spirit of wilderness which we humans, with our vilified and misguided bravery, have been trying to quell with brute force, unleashing a downward spiral of nature, decimating ecosystems.

The sowthistle carries the charm of wilderness. It belongs to dandelion tribe in the sunflower family and its flowers look like miniature sunflowers. Just because the bigger sunflowers give us oil we define them as useful, while these little blooms don’t fit in our utilitarian plans, at least not till now, so they are just unwanted weeds for us. But in a world defined by man-made ethical tenets, when everything bottom-up from the ground dust to the planets above is eyed with a hardcore intent to extract useable juice, as a sort of ugly assertion of our right to rule the planet and still beyond, when the spring has been ostracized to few little wild blooms in patches of land somehow beyond our direct manipulation, these tiny smiles are specially significant. These little yellow flower-heads, of the size of a button (half to one inch in diameter) greet me with the comparable resonance of those times when our earth had real springs. They are not as useless as one may think. Sowthistle derives its name from old times when it was fed to lactating sows to increase milk production. Now, these little yellow flowers with frills around the edges carry the banner of spring in my little garden.

And the humans, in their glamorous villainy and manipulating fantasy, convulse with festive spirit on Holi, Vasant Kama Mahotsva. The farmers have their own version of Holi fun. It’s pretty rowdy and riotous to the extent that a city gentleman would surely recoil in horror if he witnesses it. This is the day when patriarchy is razed and attacked by the female warriors. The male elitism gets a day off and the females pommel the male backs, bums and legs with cords made of their head-clothes twisted around to give the sting and strength of a thick rope. Some of them even secretly interweave a wire inside the twisted cloth-cord and unleash all the pent-up vengeance pooled through the year. Its effect is evidenced by blue welts on the backs and bums of drunken farmers which they proudly carry for weeks after the festival. The menfolk pour anything ranging from street muck to fresh and stale buffalo dung all over the women. It starts with fun, progresses to shouts and changes to drunken brawls, squabblings and plain fights as the evening builds up. One of the drunken men poured deep dark oil on the tailless male cat to turn it into a hilarious mini tailless jaguar. I think the poor fellow has lost even the last chance of wooing any of the cat girls unless one of them has very sadist sense of taste for choosing a partner. 

The sullen petunia—that remained flowerless among a riot of colors on its brethren around—decides to celebrate Holi. It smiles with four flowers, four beautiful binary flowers having soft pink and milky white strips alternately designed across its frilled trumpet-shaped blooms. The handsome magpie robin is letting out a cascade of colorful notes as if celebrating the lynching of males for a change on the occasion. It’s a fantastic mimicker. In tune with the Holi-time fun and frolics on the ground, it’s mimicking the rapidly chipping notes of the purple sunbird. After all it’s a special occasion. There are colors in life. I have seen it alone during late winters. Now there is a lady in his life. It’s happy and goes for a fun-filled, excited, ecstatic hopping flight over the unruly fun unfolding in the streets below. It goes up and down and jumps from tree to tree. Meanwhile, his girlfriend looks pretty impressed from a branch. He indeed looks very happy to have found love in the spring after lonely winter nights.

In the late evening, the Holi show culminates with the aftermaths of a misunderstanding between two drunkards. One of them is lying like a log in the street. The other is busy in unleashing the fury of a hard kolda all over the fallen Holi-celebrator’s body. He is a strong lad and gives big, powerful strikes. His tongue gives suitable company to his hands as it raises a massive tornado of choicest abuses, cuss words and expletives in Haryanvi language. Their slippers are lying nearby. A lady dog thinks it better to at least put out the prospects of the footwear becoming a part of this war. She picks them up and puts them in front of a particular house. The peasant woman offers her buttermilk sometimes. Out of gratitude the cute canine lady looks forward to add to the collection of her patron lady’s footwear. In fact the temple goers have been complaining about their chappals going missing from the temple gate of late. They now know where to find their missing footwear. I think this lady dog has taken her job a wee bit too seriously. But then she doesn’t like anyone else doing her duty. Her patron had a visitor who left her slippers in front of the gate. The canine lady felt insulted over this transgression of duties, so she picked up the articles and put them in the middle of the square nearby. 

Playing on your own pitch

 An old tau told a nice story: A pair of cow and buffalo calves decided to play together. The more energetic cow calf proposed playful jaunts and prancing around the turf. So here they go sallying with full gusto. The cow calf went jumping over little hurdles and puddles of water. The buffalo calf tried its level best to be a good play-buddy but soon realized that it was no match for its playmate in jumping and hopping around. It got exasperated and called for a rest break. ‘Let’s play another game,’ it said. ‘What game?’ asked the cow calf. ‘Let’s sit and move our ears. Let’s see who does it better and longer,’ the buffalo calf explained the basics of the game. The lesson is: play at your own turf guys or bolster the little-little advantages nature has given you, like a buffalo’s irreproachable clinging to sit relaxed, chew cud and move ears. They seem like meditators of the animal world when they do this.

Well, the talk of taus reminds me of a few granddads in the village who still have the ‘urge’ for the luscious aspects of life. More in the mind than their creaky aged bodies, I must say. Feeling the torture of this gap between desire and reality they go to the naughty village chemist. The chemist then gives them mind-body gap-filling pills with a rascally grin. The granddads then become heroic, boosted by the pills. They try to force their mind’s imaginations on the surface of reality. The reality involves their daughter-in-laws. The latter flabbergasted and scandalized tell their husbands about the oozing lecherousness of the oldies. The sons then repeat history. They thrash the fathers like they themselves used to be plonked by them in childhood.