Walking through the natural remnants

Cornered by stressful notes and peppered with pungent perspectives, I decide to beat my sense of victimhood by opening myself to the friendly humor of the farmlands surrounding the village. There is intense agriculture. Under the haunting patriarchy of the supreme species on the earth, the mother soil carrying a long haul of miseries, burdens and unmet dreams. Where will you dump your feeling of victimhood when the earth itself seems carrying the same burden?

Gone are the days of dark and deep woods. The wastelands and fallow lands, which were the last refuge of the wilderness until a decade ago, have shrunk to invisibility. The anarchist has shrewdly turned mother nature into a shadowy realm where everything is a mere utopia, a poetic fancy, judged from the mainstream perspectives. Still there are some scanty patches, almost imagistic, which pay a feeble lip service to the not so distant past when we had smatterings of scrub forest in the area. There are solitary trees and beaten down bushes by the pathsides and field embankments. It is enough to leave me bemused.

In future, the things will take a shape when even these trees that can be counted on fingers will be viewed as forests of the past. Gladly there are still many birds left and their calls somehow sound reassuring. As the battering ram goes estranging itself from the roots that have supported its evolution and growth, tottering and honking menacingly, spewing out darker and darker parables, the songs of the birds still hold feeble musical threads linking our imperiled existence to the divine melody emanating from a distant corner in the universe.

I spot an Indian roller, a striking Cambridge-and-Oxford-blue bird. It was obdurately peeking into a bush from an electricity wire, its biggish head tilted at an angle, just about to pounce upon some frog or lizard. It batters the prey on some nearby branch to have a nice supper. The colorful bird gives an assortment of extolling, raucous chuckles and croaks. It’s very volatile in proposing to its remote and cold love interest. It’s a very indulgent courtship—a spectacular display involving nose-diving and somersaulting while letting out grating harsh screams. It seems to possess a pretty informed attitude. Well, you see a beautiful bird and it seems all isn’t lost yet.

Till a decade back there was a sort of wasteland stretching for about hundred acres in this area. It presented a beautiful landscape picture entirely modeled by the untamed forces of nature. I remember wandering around in that pleasant desolation. It was a wonderfully sublime feeling there. That small world of little insects, rodents and reptiles had its very own gleaming myths and anecdotes for this small-time writer. During the monsoons it would turn into a little marshland. It further accentuated the isolation treasured in its little bushy coffers. The water wouldn’t dry before the spring or sometimes even till early summer. Thousands of birdie guests displayed their adventurous quirks. What a high-pitched quacking thoroughfare it used to be!

The human population grew further and the jabbering human hands arrived to cut these last tufts of hair left on the balding head of mother nature. The pressure on the farmlands grew manifold. The low-lying area was filled with earth. Its level was raised to meet our ever-increasing demands from the cropped land to meet the perennial shortage of produce from the farms. Now the lashing raindrops just fill the furrows in the cropped fields and gone are the little ponds and puddles.

A couple of years back there still were the last remains of that scrub forest. It was a little patch of roughly three acres left out as the remnant of the fledgling wasteland of yore. A few dozen ducks and cormorants swam in its languid waters. A few waders were busy on its grassy banks.

Come now to the present. A netting has been set up above the water. The human heart seems to be possessed by the spirit of a licentious hyena that forces the mankind to put barb over everything on the earth to nail down all fellow claimants to resources on the planet. These are imprisoned waters, denied to the birds. The wires shine under the sun with beguiling perspectives, drawing a kind of superfluous resonance in the air that claws down all softer emotions with its unsentimental tautness. So we have fisheries even here in this tiny bowl of a pond. The deadly strings over it would cut down the wings of the transgressors.

There seems to be an overdose of humanity. There are no more any winged guests from the Himalayas. A lone common teal is wading through the sullen waters. A morose kingfisher vainly ogles into the muddled depth from an electricity line. Is it free to dive? Diving into the barbed waters would mean the beautiful bird itself turning into a prey, suddenly catapulted from its status of predator a moment before. There are no foragers on the banks. There is just a greater coucal sneaking among the bushes looking for eggs in little nests. What a decline in a decade—from thousands to dozens to a common teal. I’m sure the next year even this singular common teal will also be gone. There will be more people, more enterprise.

The silence around me is imbued with a sense of loss. I can vividly see the piteous corrosion of wilderness around me. The human juggernaut is plonking ahead with a sure-footed assertiveness. It hammers home the point of human triumph and majestically ticks off the last lines of natural defense that raise its challenge on the way. The sweeping fury of a brutal landscape startles me and I take hasty steps to further explore some untamed corner in the countryside.

Autumnal Nostalgia

 Just watch out the lilaceous glow on people's faces. It will tell you that winter has just starting spraying its aura around. November is cool. Forget all talks of global warming, pollution, dirty political thuggeries, traffic jams, and disappointments on cricketing field. The weather in November puts the common man, the man in the arena of trials and tribulations of saving some grace to see through the day with life intact, on a strong wicket. The glow on common man is just like that witnessed by numerous faces after witnessing yet another century by Sachin.

Delhi is chaotic. But have a round of Connaught Place (thankfully the colonnaded facades are up for some renovation) and you will feel the historical smartness still pervading in smoky, hazy afternoons slowly passing into the folds of evening. Just go there with an accommodating spirit and you will find why despite so many metropolitan outcrops around, Connaught Place is still the heart of Delhi. In the fantastic maze turned up by the white colonnaded blocks time, history, modernity all stand captured in a mysteriously pervading easiness.

Elsewhere, you will find four causes to mutter for a single cause of musing. Metro, yes...a massive collective reason for a bigger musing. Flyovers....again do us proud as we saunter over without wasting any time. But have the eyes to spot dirt cheap humanity scattered around below the flyovers. Kids, women, men....black, filthy, sick, torn and tattered dreams wander in equal measure. These poor human souls left out of the gift of enjoying even the balmy effects of early winter. Take a deep look in the eyes of some young female beggar, and you will find a big chance for a beautiful life and persona wasted. Whom to blame?? I just look at the faceless vault of sky and ask again and again, "Why?" If you can give so much to so few, then why not just common minimum for all of us!!! Anyway, disparities have teased us from times unknown. And will continue for, God forbid, as long as we are slogging out for more and more. Still early message put out by early winter is cool enough to assuage all such heartburns.

A lonely honeybee

I’m turning soil around the crown-of-thorn cactus. It has shed most of its leaves under the onslaught of cold in January. Its thorns look sturdier and more prominent now without the leaves. The thorns are impassive to weather—spring and autumn are the same, as are the winters and summers. However, even during the coldest overcast days, the hardy plant didn’t completely lose its smile. The thorns may carry the shades of conservatism and some tinkle of metallic weight on their pointed ends but the flowers have innate, vivid bond with the vibrant most spring somewhere in a distant, virginal vale. There are more flowers than the leaves; bright red little round flowers and silvery fangs of thorns—the defenders of beauty, or say the flowery son of god on the crucifix. They prove their status. They mean their job really well. I get a slight scratch at the back of my hand, not deep enough to draw blood, but strong enough to leave a scratch mark. Maybe they intend to prick me very softly.

There is a lone honeybee on a flower on the thorny plant. I hope it’s not a castaway or someone who has lost the way to the new home. Or maybe even too nostalgic one who hasn’t been able to leave the little yard of a lonesome writer, almost redundant and nameless himself, where there are some flowers and a few small trees. I see a few more honeybees. Are these few remaining honeybees the ones who were accidently left behind and now can’t make a way back to the new home?

Partings and relocations aren’t without their sad chimings altogether. But as they say, change is the perennial law. They have enough reasons in the survival book to move on. They are possessed with a free, itinerant spirit. They aren’t merely potted flowers at my mercy. They are alive and independent. I hope their dormant bond with my little garden will be revived. I look forward to their—the parent beehive—arrival during the monsoon season. I hope they will have plenty of cheerful, amusing travelogues to share with me through their buzzing wings once they arrive. 

An abandoned beehive in the garden

 Natural honey is a precious thing these days and the honey-loving eagle is also rare. It’s a little, poignant tussle between two rarities, a kind of unrelenting oscillation between despair and hilarity. The honey-buzzard returned the next day as well. It seems almost destitute and runaway, so few of them are left after all. It took a big slice. It’s a lucrative trip but it chronicles an irony as well. There are so few beehives and the honey buzzard’s beakful of takeaway seems like the sadistic savor of a glutton. The honeybees belong to the little garden and hence to me it looks a deplorable act by the eagle. There I stand in the melded eerie of reason and emotions. The reason pardoning the eagle and the emotions feeling the loss incurred by the bees. Great is the winged hunter’s predatory dive and equally great is the bees’ craftsmanship and the alchemy of transforming pollen into nectar. The bees so homely and the eagle seems so distant, weird and peripatetic.

There I stand with my dystopian look, skeptical oeuvre, hasty impetus and restless impulses. Primarily our attitude between a loss and a new beginning is shabby and provisional. Our thoughts febrile and random. The sense of loss is hundred times palpable than any other effect of any consequence born of our efforts. From the ramparts of my fortified illusions, the house of bees seems in tatters. But the bees hardly suffer from the effects of simple happenings that we perceive as haunting mirages of loss and agony. So while I stand morose and disheveled, they show painterly aesthetics to draw new lines on the endless canvas. And with a fledgling and buzzing sense of duty, they make a new beginning. They understand that it is the time to move. Their take on life and living is beyond mere commodification of one’s efforts. Moving on without any grudges is an inseparable part of their nature.

I’m but caught in my mundane and superfluous catalogues. Something is missing from the yard. It’s a sad sight to look at the empty hive. With an irreducible sense of duty, a few of them are still busy in taking away the last remaining granules of nectar. A nostalgic winding-up of affairs. I’m sure they will have more pollen somewhere with the spring coming and many flowers blooming with vivid full smile. I hope they will return with the onset of monsoons on a luminous day. In fact, they come every year. But there is something missing. The abandoned hive is just three or four feet above my head when I stand under the curry patta tree. I used to be welcomed by soft wafting smell of honey as and when I passed under it. It’s always a sad sight to look at an empty house, the house that was so alive with activity till a day back. 

Freedom

 JK was a free soul. He broke all chains of religious and spiritual institutions. He didn't believe in the guru-disciple equation in the strict sense of it. He dismantled the spiritual kingdom of Theosophical Society erected around him for making him its spiritual king. He was for the utmost freedom of mind; freedom beyond even spiritual syllabus involving spiritual texts taught by spiritual Masters in spiritual institutions.  But the world cannot bear up with so much of freedom. We need our anchor points to feel at home. So quite ironically Krishnamurti Foundation piled up around him as the thinker of freedom and ultimate liberation kept talking about against all institutions and institutionalization of thoughts.

Gurus have spiritual powers, just like politicians have political powers or rich have the power of wealth. And power has a tendency to manage things as per its chosen set of reality, its judgement and likes and dislikes. A mission is a mission even if it's holy in nature. Even in the case of spiritual empowerment, there is a very subtle trace of manipulation of things, even if it's for a noble cause, as per the likes and dislikes of the spiritually powerful person. They have their mission of nobility and it needs missionaries. I have read in the biographies of many holy Masters that they were made to do all the holy work by the power and instructions of their gurus. Like they were given a task and they hardly had any option. They had to do it. This is where Krishnamurti went off the road from the main spiritual thoroughfair. He was for complete annihilation of any bondage including routinized faith, scriptural principles, ashram system and all the allied things in the domain. To me a best guru is the one who gives all he has to a follower, without expecting any missionary work, and leave him or her to seek their own Destiny. Like a Father who brings up his children in a healthy environment and then is all happy to see them setting up their own homes. 

Stay at one place and expectations creep up. They want you to take up their holy work. I have always felt insecure about being piously hijacked by a holy man for his humanitarian mission. So I have a strategy for this. I go to ashrams, have their Darshan and before their eyes stabilize and start building plans for you, I run away. So sadhaks, take your nectar, and flip away like a butterfly taking honey from various flowers. Go to holy places of all kinds, absorb and soak all the positive energy and keep hopping. Why get anchored in one ashram? Read scriptures, as much as you can. But don't expect them to be the reality itself. They are mere pointers. Never expect to understand or agree to everything written in a holy book. A holy book has something positive for all types of people. If you don't agree with certain portions, it simply means that part isn't for you. But you will have your agreements and likes further on in the same text. So filter what is suitable for you. Read, have Darshan of holy men, go for pilgrimages, roam in free forests, bathe in untamed rivers, interact with people, do your worldly duties, keep moving...and finally all this seeking tires you out to help you stabilize within yourself. Happy journey!