Last in its lineage, the grand Mogul, the peacock

Rain-washed green has painted the countryside. Nature seems to have been besotted with only one colour on its palette, bold green. It’s very soothing to the eyes, and more so to the spirits. Trees look like they will survive mankind’s onslaught against nature. Clouds unfurl their sails across the sky and moist wind creeps into any nook corner that may still be dry. Monsoon is going well after all.

The fields around my village are splashing with as much green paddy as possible. Raise your eyes in any direction and you will see a green sea. Monsoonal sun across the corners of flying lumps of clouds gives the best glimpses of nature's bounty. But the travelling shadows also try to cover up silent, invisible man-made tragedies. Farmers have been cornered like never before. One day they are forced to dump tomatoes in roadside holes, the fruits of their labour not getting more than INR 1/Kg. The other day the price may go as high as INR 80/Kg in metros. Driven by intensive agriculture, born of costly inputs and decreasing landholdings, farmers just mindlessly dump poison in all forms of pesticides, weedicides and insecticides. So this lush green is a merciless stroke of brush on the canvas of nature, swiping away the natural world of many insects, worms, reptiles and rodents that make nature holistic and encompassing in its game of give and take across food chains. So guys, its just green paddy and poisoned soil below.

Peacocks survive on insects and reptiles in the fields. Nothing is left for them to feed upon, so food-less where would they go. A peacock's plumage swinging to gentle breeze in open surroundings of the countryside is a treat, and we were lucky to witness it countless times during our childhood. Now the last or second last generation of these destitutes, who rarely get an insect in fields, has landed with an airy resentment in the village. An irony: the poison giver is somehow better than the poison itself, at least in the short turn. In the foliage of neem and acacia trees, they just pew out their miseries. To the infants and younger lot, it gives a chance to get acquainted with the national bird's sound, and of course help them in learning the initials of human language.

My mom has an almost regular bird visitor, who perches upon the neem in our courtyard and pews out its begging song as if pleading, ‘Mai Roti do!' While she dispenses her routine chores across the yard, it continues to draw her attention. Roti delayed, it is forced to come down and enter the inner reaches of the house just to make his presence felt through his luxuriant plumage. Once roti pieces are thrown before him, it has to chuck up the offerings as fast as possible because crows line up in their accusing harsh tones, blaming him for being a transgressor who has infringed upon their rights. Crows are very clever. Some of them get behind his plumage and take a pick at his feathers to distract him. One defensive look behind and a few pieces are stolen by the other crows waiting in the wings. I call it the 'beggar peacock', my mother does not like the title though.

If that is the fate of the national bird, it’s hard to imagine the condition of others. Looking at this marvel of nature, whom mom sometimes accuses of being ungrateful -- when it comes without its plumage, all the feathers having been shed somewhere, and mom cursing it for being so mindless to waste them somewhere and not shed them in the courtyard -- I just feel sad on account of the fact that may be it is the last or at the most second last in its lineage.

Kill a mouse like a mouse only; not like a lion

He has done it again. The feeling of victory is carried by the air around his swollen breast. These are the steps of a warrior. A victorious warrior walking triumphantly can literally create an earthquake with his stomping and swagging steps. The King was effusive in praise as he again emerged as the most skillful swordsman of the kingdom. The Lord’s words are ringing in his ears as he steps down from his chariot. Holding the most coveted sword in the state, he walks down the flower-bordered path to the entrance of his impressive mini palace. He has been awarded and rewarded so many times that he has lost a trail of his swordsmanship.        

The competition has been long, tedious and tough. He bears many cuts as a testimony to the arduous path to the trophy. He is tired and wants some immediate rest. There is group of female servants who run to help him ease up. He just dismisses them as if he doesn’t even feel they are around. He wants to soak each and every moment of the victory. He wants to retain his scars for some time. It keeps the smell of victory nearer for some time.

It’s getting dark. A restful night is round the corner. He is belching. His stomach is full with numerous delicacies the King had ordered in the royal kitchen to celebrate his victory. He ate and drank to his victorious self. He is full with food and victory. He doesn’t put off his robe for the night. He decides to go to sleep like he is now, just to carry the aura the next day as well.

The sword but needs to be placed on the holder on the wall. It’s a sanctimonious ritual. He loves and reveres his sword. As he is moving to place his sword, he sees a mouse on the cushioned chair by the wall. The tiny trespasser is twitching its muzzle, almost like poking fun at him. He gets angry. How dare a mouse keep its presence for longer than required in front of him? He expects the little thing to scurry away at the mere sound of his step. His expectation is scuttled.

His ego gets a dent. By natural instinct his hand grams the holster of his sword. But then he shakes his head in irritation for even thinking of using his sword against such a tiny irritant.

“Just the sound of air through my nostrils should be sufficient to scare this idiot!” he thinks.

He has let out a few noisy breaths. The mouse but is relaxed on the silky cushion like it is a special guest. The champion swordsman’s irritation is turning to anger. His hand is itching to just finish it off in one masterstroke. But won’t that it be an insult to his sword? To use it against such a tiny creature. He moves on to place his sword at its place expecting that his crossing the room will scare away the tiny foe. As he turns back, he is surprised to see the mouse still there. Unmoved and relaxed like the room belongs to it.

“This is too much! This little one is inviting sure death!” he claps and expects the mouse to literally faint with fear.

It all but normal to expect a mouse to be most cowardly creature. It is linked to so many tales of chicken-heartedness. The mouse is still unmoved.

“This bloody tick of a mouse seems to be deaf and dumb!” he mutters.

The defiance seems to be a challenge to him. He picks up the wooden practice sword and waves it around hoping the airy swirls will be sufficient to scare the mouse and run for its life. His expert swings in air in front of the mouse fail to budge the tiny opponent. Now he is flabbergasted.

“What the hell! Does it want to commit suicide or what? How can I put a dark spot on my heroism by even accepting challenge from something that will be buried under my shit?” he is offended.

The things that take a detour from the normal of course unsettle us. He moves towards the cushioned chair hoping the cowardly creature will scuttle away, twitching its tail. They are face to face. The mouse isn’t moving. Now it’s getting into his nerves. He feels like putting it off in one strike. But then to stoop so low to start accepting challenges from mice. After all he has slayed mighty warriors in bloody combats. He seems intent to give the mouse more chances to run for safety, accept its defeat and go as things go normally in the world.

He puts the lower end of the wooden sword on the cushion just inches away from the small rival. The mouse is still unmoved. Now it’s really eating into his nerves. He is in no mood to pass off such things as jokingly one offs. The bursts of clapping and shouting sloganeering is thundering in his ears.

“And now this bloody mouse! Go little one go, don’t mess with my patience. I don’t want to put a blot on my bravery by being a mouse slayer.”

He feels like cutting it in two even with the wooden sword in an expert stroke. But killing mouse with his artistically bravest of swordsmanship.

“This little nuisance is worthy of being killed with a stick. Poor mouse,” he raises his practice sword to hit back like a stick.

But to strike a sword, even if it is a wooden practice wooden one, like a stick is an insult to the holy art of swordsmanship. His hands just give in. He cannot do it. He cannot kill it like a sword, he cannot use his sword like a stick. A mouse is too lowly a creature to be killed by him. His mind is full of so many ideas that he even gets panicked for a moment regarding his dilemma.

“This suicidal chit of a bird-drop needs a suitable punishment. I cannot bring myself so low to turn a demon slayer to a mouse slayer. The fate of a mouse is to bee slaughtered by a cat. Yaa that seems justified and natural. And this little rascal will pee at the sight of a cat. The little devil.”

He is thinking of suitable punishment to the mouse without compromising on his sense of heroism. It’s fair between a cat and a mouse. He agrees on this and already has the instrument of punishment in his mind. The fat, well pampered cat of the wealthy man in neighborhood. He has a sadistic sense prevail over him as he visualizes the cat chasing the shitty little one, putting its teeth around its soft fur, and mowing down the squealing bastard. His hands are itching to grab this moment from the space-time continuum of happenings.

A servant is sent to fetch the cat from the neighboring house. Now the cat is listening to the exaggerated version of what happened in the warrior’s palace.

“Just imagine the guts. The devil is not scared of anything. Not even the bravest soldier of the land. Not that he can kill it. Of course he can. But he doesn’t want to put a blot on his name by being a mouse slayer on the day he has been crowned the state champion. But this little piece of arrogance by the tiny creature has forced him to mete out the harshest punishment to a mouse. And that is to be hunted down by a cat.”

The cat is listening. It doesn’t sound normal. There is something in it. It doesn’t seem like any other cat and mouse encounter.

“Of course it means it must be some special mouse. Otherwise why would master take all this trouble to look out for a cat? He could have taken rest after the hard fought victory,” the servant is nailing it down.

The well fed and amply pampered cat is becomes serious. Many things are playing in its mind. Its paws aren’t itching to slice through the soft fur. Its mind is clogged with calculations. It seems a daunting task. It doesn’t appear like any other cat mouse encounter like she has done hundreds of times in life. The poor mouse scuttling away at the mere sight of the cat, the cat preying upon, a minor one-sided scuffle and the inevitable happening.

The merchant is very happy over the prospect of being of some service to the King’s prized fighter. Holding his dear cat he walks with a swag to the scene of the looming encounter. With each step the poor cat is becoming more and more conscious of the fight. The news has spread like fire and people are toeing after. The procession moves.

“The mouse is definitely some special devil otherwise why would these humans make such a show of it,” the cat’s mind is getting bombarding with countless random thoughts.

Her judgment is getting clouded. All the natural sequence of hunting down a mouse is getting stretched to miles with so many distinct steps. And she has to face a mouse that stood up to the mightiest warrior of the land. Thoughts are randomly scurrying across its head, these are now changing to numerous apprehensions, these in turn are eating her natural inborn confidence in doing a small task like killing a mouse. Today it’s not about hunger. It’s about a challenge. The cat is fully fed. Still it has to kill with the impunity like it is the hungriest on the planet.

“What stance I should take before preying upon, and from what distance it would be safest to pounce upon? Should I put up a fierce avatar with my hair standing up, tail taut, and mewing and growling like a tiger? No. Yes. But wouldn’t a cool approach will ensure a better shot at the aim? Yes. No, because the idiot may take it as lack of character in me. Should I, shouldn’t I??” each word from the people around is putting out questions after questions in its mind.

At the end of it the cat feels like they are taking her to the altar to sacrifice her.

“Who knows it may even be a devil dog impersonating as a mouse!” she has completely forgotten about its experience in killing mice.      

By the time they reach the warrior’s house, it’s terrible pandemonium around. The cat’s head is buzzing with thousand questions, thoughts, fears, apprehensions and what not. It can barely see what is happening around. Now she is in a total daze, not able to think at all. It’s not about killing a mouse, it’s about defeating THE MOUSE.

Before she realizes she finds herself placed at a distance from the mouse. So many eyes are prying over her. Her natural instinct, her inbuilt dexterity, her inherent skill, her easy-going call to eat a mouse has abandoned her. The cat is conscious of the effort it will take to dash. It tries to think, but its mind has gone empty. Abandoned by all conviction, it sits there indecisively. It’s puzzled beyond measure.

It’s a blind’ futile dash. With a very awkward movement it leaps. The mouse coolly shifts to its right by a few inches. The cat doesn’t know what is happening. It goes rolling like a lump of earth thrown aimlessly. It hits it head on the wall, loses balance and a brass utensil falls on it from the windowsill. There is noise. It’s senses are in a riot of panic. Yaa, it’s not some cat. It’s devil and I am attacked. The cat runs away for its life. The mouse looks curiously at the peoples standing at a distance.

Well, that’s what happens when mouse become THE MOUSE.          

The news spreads far and wide. It’s no ordinary mouse. It doesn’t scamper away at the sight of swords and cats. The King’s still more pampered cat listens with its innards shivering with fear. What if they send me? What if even I fail? I will lose all this royal luxury. Lost in the painful reverie, the poor thing doesn’t even realize before the onerous duty of dispensing justice has been handed over to her.

Now there is bigger hoopla. Lot more people are talking about the incident. There is more noise. And consequently thicker are the clouds of apprehension in the royal cat’s mind.

“It’s not scared of a sword, nor of cat, and now the presumably the finest cat in the state is summoned to get it done. It cannot be a mouse even if it impersonated like a mouse.”

Simple mouse is becoming a still larger THE MOUSE with each step they cover towards the place of the incident. The royal cat seems surrendered to a doomed fate. They appear like enemies who are pushing her to her doom and fall from royal grace. Her worst days are coming. There has been a shift in her destiny. The winds of misfortune are pounding the fabric of her well pampered self. Chronic panic has set in. She thinks of everything expect the art and craft of the natural art of killing a mouse.

The royal cat was in a far bigger dilemma by the time they put her in front of the defiant mouse who seems hell bent upon retaining the seat like it was the crown of the universe. The cat is shaking with nervous excitement. It goofs up even more miserably. The mouse just jumps to its left and doesn’t move. The cat seems to have wasted all weapons in its armory.

Even before the fight she has been thinking of the aftermaths. How the king will laugh at her and kick her impudently. She is thinking of the life away from the disgrace. More than killing the mouse, its mind is plagued with thoughts of where to run away from the disgrace. So having missed the aim, the cat runs away from the scene of its disgrace.

The news blasts through. There is an unheard of mouse which is not afraid of cats and swords. Almost everybody appears unwilling to put his cat through the ordeal and the impending disgrace. Nobody showed eager to be called the owner of the cat which couldn’t kill even a mouse.

An ascetic stayed in his hut outside the state capital. The task of accomplishing the deed reached his doorstep. He listened to them patiently. There were long and wordy narration of the incident. It was made to appear larger than life. People looked overawed of what happened. The ascetic’s demeanour was calm. He listened to the tales with a smile on his lips. His kind eyes shone with a divine understanding. Knowingly he looked into the eyes of his cat. The cat too appeared unperturbed.

“Go and do what you always do with the same attitude and mindset. A mouse is a mouse. Remember. Always. Everywhere. And expect a mouse to be just the same mouse you have eaten so many times in the past,” he pats his cat affectionately.

The molehill has become the biggest mountain. It is being talked like nothing else. It beats the pulsating humdrum of a thoroughfare. Everything seems to have been pushed into the background. Everybody is talking about it. But the cat is beyond all this hoopla. Its mind is the same like on any other occasion.

They place the cat in front of the mouse. It twitches its tale with the familiar conviction. There is surety in its movement. It holds its head at a form predatory angle. It beats the mouse in the dozing game and buries its teeth into it. The mouse squeaks. People cheer around. A great thing has been accomplished.

“A mouse is a mouse only. Why burden your mind with so many things which a poor mouse himself can never relate to in the wildest of his dreams,” the ascetic is telling the people who give his cat to him.

The cat has eaten the mouse and mews contentedly. There wasn’t anything complicated about it. It was a straight matter torn and skewed into numerous phantom shapes and appearances. And when that happens, even a simple mouse becomes THE MOUSE.

Cut your butter knife through the lump of iron

There is a fountain of happiness inside. It lies dormant under the self-imposed crust of fears, illusions, assumptions and ignorance. You have to unearth it. You have to remove the burdensome crust which weighs you down like a beast of burden. You just pull ahead like a coal and soot laden steam engine, lifelessly, mechanically. You have to realize you are more than a beast of burden and a steam engine. Pierce through the crust’s increasing thickness. You have to dig deeper. Stop, take rest and get a sense of what you are doing. Again you have to pick up your pickaxe. You cannot afford too much rest. Rest lies at the destination. There it is a factor of eternity. Once you reach there, running and resting will become the same. Hit hard. Let its iron run deep into the earthen wall that separates you from you real potential, your destiny, your destination for which Mother Nature has shaped and nurtured you. Dig deep. Look within. Life isn’t worth living just as a series of accidental occurrences bobbing you like a wooden wreck tossed by stormy waves. It’s about calculated, well planned steps and moves. Steer the ship well. You were born to master it, just keep it in mind. With knowledge and information you can move on the crust only. It’s just living accidentally. Wisdom helps you dig deep. There is a source of your real happiness. It doesn’t require a sprint on the outer crust. You will just head-but other runners, fall in the dust and grit your bloody teeth. After all, it’s just a stampede. Break through the outer shell. It needs some guts to begin with, but then at later stages it is like you are cutting butter with a knife. You will have the passage to your real self. It will be an escape route from the mindless race. Just dive into it. Below lies the tranquil sea, your own unchartered waters. You are the owner of this infinite depths and cool currents spreading in countless directions. You can drift anywhere. Just imagine the freedom. Claim your freedom. You were not born to be slave. Go, do it!

Shaping the wooden crate of my destiny

He was busy hammering the wood. Tonk, tonk, phutt, phutt, buuum, buuum. Lot of noise. I was crying foul. He Himself winced with unbearable pain as I cried foul and blamed Him for being so merciless and unkind. God but was doing His duty. He has to have smile and the tears in each of His hands, for they lose their meaning in the absence of each other. It’s all blame game on Him and little appreciation. God was putting down nails into my wooden being to shape the box of my destiny. I am an undefined dead wood with His woodwork. Making is painful and laborious. It’s not a cakewalk. So I kept on crying with pain and cursed Him for his mercilessness. Making is a highly painful buddy. It draws blood and fetches tears and remorse even in His heart for being so accepting to the painful side of existence. He but cannot remove pain from universe because then pleasure will lose its meaning.  He cannot chuck out darkness, for light will become meaningless. But believe me every nail writes the script of many-many pleasant moments in future. Love your struggle. Accept your pains. Be a bit kind to yourself when you fail. Only a fall carries the full measure of a rise. See through your tears at the impending victory waiting at a distance. Love your labour on the hot sands of your destiny because these are the milestones which will define and make your victory meaningful and worth it.

Killing with one hand, saving with the other

How precious is a new-born life! It’s more precious than anything else on the earth. You cannot find anything to weigh equal in the opposite pan. Nothing matters more than the survival of a new-born. It becomes the primary cause. You become its sky and earth, sheltering this water bubble to keep its shiny film of time-dome reflecting in your eyes. There it merges with your dreams and your dreams rush out into the broad daylight to shake hands with your destiny. You cup your hands over it to save its feeble light from going off even by the slightest whiff of air. Look at the way the little signs of life in a just born, so fragile, weak and soft, are picked up and held to heart with so much love, care and affection! You hold the tiny seed, so small that it can be blown away by a little whish of air from the mouth, and see it growing into a big banyan. It becomes larger and more important than you, nourished by the dewy showers of your heart, honey-sweet sips of your emotions and defended by the ramparts of your protectiveness. A new-born clings to survival like it is held to life just by an invisible string of a cobweb, which may snap at the slightest carelessness. So we dreamily hold dear life like dreams spread on our eyelashes. It’s our own image we hold, our chance to survive in the future, a continuation of our journey, a furtherance of our hopes, aspirations, passions and the culmination of all our struggles. It’s a reward for all our perspiring work. It’s the medicine for all the ailments which plague us. A child, a new life, is a symbol of our belief in the freshness and meaningfulness of the journey, the great art of doing, of making, the story of continuing the march. That’s how we nurture a new life. If not for this instinct, no child will ever survive. After all, it’s such a tiny lamp and the storms are so strong. Why is it that once that very life grows up, we grow so apathetic to it that its decimation and destruction hardly counts as anything more than a routine news item? Why killing becomes more expected and natural than saving lives? Why are there more people ready to kill, than eager to save lives? It’s the futile game of doing and undoing. Just making and then breaking. It’s the mad, crazy force that has kept us to the level of mere struggling pack of humans who are as miserable like they were thousands of years ago. It is the bondage that holds us back, stopping us from becoming superhuman, which was otherwise our destination given the beginning we had in the loveable most and caring hands. But we first do and then undo. The nasty cycle of creating and destroying. A part of us is making, and the majority is involved in destroying. And we remain where we started from. We nurture new life like the dearest jewel to the self, and then we get busy in the mad frenzy to kill and destroy those very dear lives. It’s self annihilation. It’s like raising crops with all the care and then cut, reap and harvest.