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Hi, this is somebody who has taken the quieter by-lane to be happy. The hustle and bustle of the big, booming main street was too intimidating. Passing through the quieter by-lane I intend to reach a solitary path, laid out just for me, to reach my destiny, to be happy primarily, and enjoy the fruits of being happy. (www.sandeepdahiya.com)

Tuesday, October 24, 2023

A slim spring

 The spring is slim, a little crack in the windows when the bigger doors close and open between winters and summers. It’s a little blossoming phase between late winters and early summer. The temperature is already nearing 40°C in the second half of March. The small trees of neem, guava, parijat, karipatta, belpatra in our little yard are shedding leaves in panic. It’s a continuous crinkly downpour of leaves. They are avoiding loss of water because of transpiration by shedding their leaves. Dry golden-brown leaves make a loud rustling sound. It’s autumnal in spirit, just that temperature is increasing every day instead of falling like in autumn. But the keekars outside the yard wall are still in spring. A hardwood of arid regions they aren’t bothered about leaf-shedding. With each gust of wind, there is no harvest of dead leaves on the ground under them. One can feel a kind of desolation, slim weariness, a lithe tension as the sun turns hotter each day. The trees hardly think twice before shedding the extra stuff because it would extract bigger costs if not cast away.

Beyond the talks of increasing temperatures, in the month of March the birds are extra chatty carrying the songs of procreation. They sing a startling preface to resurrection of spirits. It turns a pleasantly noisy world before the onset of hot, pining summer. A male Indian Robin, for example, made such a rippling ruckus that it beat the purple sunbird in excitement and verve of quizzical notes. Despite all the man-born sufferings around, which we unleash with our anarchist zeal and principled arguments, the birds sound like they carry spectacular revival of spirits. But maybe they are congratulating the sparrows on the World Sparrow Day (March 20).

In a turbulent and notorious world, caught in the shadows and under the nemesis of the lofty thrones of powerful villains in leadership positions, the spring brings a marginal sense of relief to the poetic hearts. In a world shaken by wars and intrigues, it’s a relief and pleasant surprise to have a spring day named after little sparrows. As the supreme overlords, the deified faceless baddies, stretch their despotism to newer and newer heights, holding their plucky immortality in their razor sharp talons, there is still space left for the sparrows to make a comeback. About a decade ago, the village skies carried a strange stillness as the sparrows vanished from the skies. Our moral fulcrum crumbled to pieces under the hammer strike of our iron-willed, cemented, plastered steps to create concrete jungles even in the countryside and the sparrows lost their little holes. It’s a sweet surprise to see them back. Even their little flocks seem larger-than-life. They are enjoying the bright sunny day; a lot of chirpy gossips going around. Well, if you are lucky to listen to the songs of sparrows on the World Sparrow Day, you have reasons to feel gratitude for this nice little gift.

In lightening encounter with shimmering designs and colors, a peacock is in full plume now. He is unambiguously hooting his gospel of love. His fan-tail is spread laudably and the excited shake of passion shimmers and resonates through the colorful tangle of exotic designs. We have the king and his harem comprising three pea-hens. He is dancing on the terrace and they, giving respecting and revering looks, seem spellbound by his precious talent. Since the start of creation, the game of love, camouflaging as a gentler version of lust, pulling the enduring significance of propagation and evolution of species, has been the chief driver on the chariot of time. We can hardly comprehend the natural code of unrelenting innovation deceptively embedded in each and every ounce of space around us. The peacock gives a riotous shake of colors with love, lust and procreative passion.

The cool windy mornings flirt with warm sunrays. The flowers open themselves with a spirit of religious offering. Fragile petunias show a seminal spirit—red, violet and bi-colored (white and red; red and pink).

The nights have cool breeze and a few ducks, which had come to the plains for the winter stay, take nocturnal flights. Their soul-force guiding their need-based journeys back to some Himalayan lake, away from the abhorrent turmoil of the plains. They quack a ‘bye’. Peacocks and peahens hoot during the nights. During the day they perch upon the highest points on rooftops and look around as if lost in grander assumptions than the rest of the birds.

The few pairs of doves in the locality love being foolish. They are not to be impressed by the arrogantly styled stateliness of the weaverbird nests. They are contended with the same old house that has seen many tragedies in the past, the very same little, fragile nest that has become the common breeding point of the dove community. When unoccupied it seems a sublime memorial of a species’ looming extinction. The bird of peace looks in shock and awe of the human juggernaut. Caught in the dreadful constellation of unquenchable human desires, they seem to have given up and fulfill the formality of laying eggs in the same famished nest. From our standpoint I would call them most careless of birds. One can see the eggs just couple of feet overhead through the see-through nest. As if hurriedly saying adieu they lay eggs in the same nest one after the other. I haven’t seen even a single successful hatching out of dozens of eggs laid in the little clump of trees in my yard over the years.

The handsome oriental magpie robin that sleeps among the parijat branches at nights went for a nighttime dinner. The washroom in a corner in the yard invited him with its bright bulb. The bulb shone with its appetizing flair of mosquitoes and moths around it. The dashing, dainty guy sneaked in and ate to its contentment. However, it became greedy. At last, I had to put off the light unless the problem of plenty gave it gastronomical effects. In this way the tempo for the summers is building up and just a few weeks down the line the scorching, burning north Indian summer awaits with a baking glee.

The visiting rufous treepie is heckling with the native birds, maybe reprimanding them before starting for the journey back to some little wooded valley in the Himalayan foothills.

A sowthistle has touched the prime of its species. With an ecumenical spirit it has grown to a height of above six feet. Blinded by the exacting smokescreen of our greed-based models of development, we may have categorized it as a weed, but it’s as lovely and likeable to mother nature as any other plant of great utility to we humans. I have allowed it to grow among the marigolds. The marigolds have dried out, after a heady assertion of their blossoming spirit during the coldest weeks of January and February, leaving little saplings growing under the dead skeletal stalks of their parents. Among them blossoms the tall sowthistle, an expression of mother earth’s untamed spirit of wilderness which we humans, with our vilified and misguided bravery, have been trying to quell with brute force, unleashing a downward spiral of nature, decimating ecosystems.

The sowthistle carries the charm of wilderness. It belongs to dandelion tribe in the sunflower family and its flowers look like miniature sunflowers. Just because the bigger sunflowers give us oil we define them as useful, while these little blooms don’t fit in our utilitarian plans, at least not till now, so they are just unwanted weeds for us. But in a world defined by man-made ethical tenets, when everything bottom-up from the ground dust to the planets above is eyed with a hardcore intent to extract useable juice, as a sort of ugly assertion of our right to rule the planet and still beyond, when the spring has been ostracized to few little wild blooms in patches of land somehow beyond our direct manipulation, these tiny smiles are specially significant. These little yellow flower-heads, of the size of a button (half to one inch in diameter) greet me with the comparable resonance of those times when our earth had real springs. They are not as useless as one may think. Sowthistle derives its name from old times when it was fed to lactating sows to increase milk production. Now, these little yellow flowers with frills around the edges carry the banner of spring in my little garden.

And the humans, in their glamorous villainy and manipulating fantasy, convulse with festive spirit on Holi, Vasant Kama Mahotsva. The farmers have their own version of Holi fun. It’s pretty rowdy and riotous to the extent that a city gentleman would surely recoil in horror if he witnesses it. This is the day when patriarchy is razed and attacked by the female warriors. The male elitism gets a day off and the females pommel the male backs, bums and legs with cords made of their head-clothes twisted around to give the sting and strength of a thick rope. Some of them even secretly interweave a wire inside the twisted cloth-cord and unleash all the pent-up vengeance pooled through the year. Its effect is evidenced by blue welts on the backs and bums of drunken farmers which they proudly carry for weeks after the festival. The menfolk pour anything ranging from street muck to fresh and stale buffalo dung all over the women. It starts with fun, progresses to shouts and changes to drunken brawls, squabblings and plain fights as the evening builds up. One of the drunken men poured deep dark oil on the tailless male cat to turn it into a hilarious mini tailless jaguar. I think the poor fellow has lost even the last chance of wooing any of the cat girls unless one of them has very sadist sense of taste for choosing a partner. 

The sullen petunia—that remained flowerless among a riot of colors on its brethren around—decides to celebrate Holi. It smiles with four flowers, four beautiful binary flowers having soft pink and milky white strips alternately designed across its frilled trumpet-shaped blooms. The handsome magpie robin is letting out a cascade of colorful notes as if celebrating the lynching of males for a change on the occasion. It’s a fantastic mimicker. In tune with the Holi-time fun and frolics on the ground, it’s mimicking the rapidly chipping notes of the purple sunbird. After all it’s a special occasion. There are colors in life. I have seen it alone during late winters. Now there is a lady in his life. It’s happy and goes for a fun-filled, excited, ecstatic hopping flight over the unruly fun unfolding in the streets below. It goes up and down and jumps from tree to tree. Meanwhile, his girlfriend looks pretty impressed from a branch. He indeed looks very happy to have found love in the spring after lonely winter nights.

In the late evening, the Holi show culminates with the aftermaths of a misunderstanding between two drunkards. One of them is lying like a log in the street. The other is busy in unleashing the fury of a hard kolda all over the fallen Holi-celebrator’s body. He is a strong lad and gives big, powerful strikes. His tongue gives suitable company to his hands as it raises a massive tornado of choicest abuses, cuss words and expletives in Haryanvi language. Their slippers are lying nearby. A lady dog thinks it better to at least put out the prospects of the footwear becoming a part of this war. She picks them up and puts them in front of a particular house. The peasant woman offers her buttermilk sometimes. Out of gratitude the cute canine lady looks forward to add to the collection of her patron lady’s footwear. In fact the temple goers have been complaining about their chappals going missing from the temple gate of late. They now know where to find their missing footwear. I think this lady dog has taken her job a wee bit too seriously. But then she doesn’t like anyone else doing her duty. Her patron had a visitor who left her slippers in front of the gate. The canine lady felt insulted over this transgression of duties, so she picked up the articles and put them in the middle of the square nearby. 

Playing on your own pitch

 An old tau told a nice story: A pair of cow and buffalo calves decided to play together. The more energetic cow calf proposed playful jaunts and prancing around the turf. So here they go sallying with full gusto. The cow calf went jumping over little hurdles and puddles of water. The buffalo calf tried its level best to be a good play-buddy but soon realized that it was no match for its playmate in jumping and hopping around. It got exasperated and called for a rest break. ‘Let’s play another game,’ it said. ‘What game?’ asked the cow calf. ‘Let’s sit and move our ears. Let’s see who does it better and longer,’ the buffalo calf explained the basics of the game. The lesson is: play at your own turf guys or bolster the little-little advantages nature has given you, like a buffalo’s irreproachable clinging to sit relaxed, chew cud and move ears. They seem like meditators of the animal world when they do this.

Well, the talk of taus reminds me of a few granddads in the village who still have the ‘urge’ for the luscious aspects of life. More in the mind than their creaky aged bodies, I must say. Feeling the torture of this gap between desire and reality they go to the naughty village chemist. The chemist then gives them mind-body gap-filling pills with a rascally grin. The granddads then become heroic, boosted by the pills. They try to force their mind’s imaginations on the surface of reality. The reality involves their daughter-in-laws. The latter flabbergasted and scandalized tell their husbands about the oozing lecherousness of the oldies. The sons then repeat history. They thrash the fathers like they themselves used to be plonked by them in childhood. 

A few moments in the spring

 We have a solid proof of the spring—a peacock spreading its fan-tail for some dancing moments. Brand new tail feathers, sleek, sprightly, strong, long enough to be flaunted and not too long to be cumbersome—like early youth free from the limitations of both childhood and mature age. To be too fashionable comes with its costs. Walk a bit unfashionably and you get some arbitrary windfalls on the way. And some of these give a sheer sense of freedom, the freedom of not being bound by anything or any routine. Too much of fashion is a reflection of our peculiarities, a veritable remonstrance against the simplistic tidings of the soul. And going with the worldly illusions, it romanticizes the path towards perilous excursions.

The squirrel is greedy. The grains are primarily meant for the sparrows. It not only eats them to its heart’s content but ferries jowl-fulls to its house somewhere in the group of trees nearby. It’s very pushy and chases away the sparrows. A few brave ones try to nibble at its fluffy tail but that isn’t too effective. There is no discomfort at the squirrel’s end. So as the octogenarian fixedly nibbles down their share, the sparrows wait on the nearby branches. Patience has some intrinsic value. In our confusion and hurry we just thwart the fruit of patience waiting at the next turn.

To consecrate this truth a babbler arrives. As far as quarrelsome tone is concerned, a babbler is an ever-exterminating tyrant. They hand out impious, bitter reprimands to the less noisy birds. Now it’s the squirrel’s turn to run. It tries to stay its ground with some impertinent attitude but the babbler is too quarrelsome for it. The babbler now occupies the property and seems to hold onto its version of truth like a conventionist holding onto his powerfully twisted myths.

A tailorbird—not a party to the issue and hence in an ideal position to enjoy it as a fun game—is hooting, applauding, shouting. Chik-chik-pik-pik-tik-tik-lado-lado-maro-maro. Full enjoyment. Or maybe even some painful cries as if it has got a boil on its buttock.

Ultimate freedom of expression and right to live—the right to sleep rather: a puppy sleeping right in the middle of a street having its routine traffic of two-wheelers, tractors, walkers, cattle and much more. I see him sprawled to deepest slumber. He is still in it as I return after a couple of hours. There is still peace in the world. Well, you have to believe in it first in order to have it. You have to believe in the kingdom of silence and peace with its invisible gold insignia.

There is another freedom of expression, a kind of swooning and frenzied liberty, that I witnessed by the side of the road. It’s a group of adolescent boys on a trip. The bus has seen wide open fields on its journey. But then an all-open option might mean no option at all. You need a milestone to mark your arrival. So the driver, looking for a suitable clue to an appropriate clearing, stops in front of a power sub-station on our village’s outskirts. The long front wall is freshly painted. A beautiful mushy cream milestone with bright blue border and orange stars in the middle. So a few dozen of them get down finally and line up to relieve themselves of extra water.

You certainly need milestones. The open fields were too dull for the momentous event. They leave ostensible but somehow artistic wet lines on the wall as a mark of their arrival, of utilizing the basic freedom of expressing themselves through relieving in the open as we Indians love to do with our inflexible sentimentality for being natural and open with the nature’s call. The time has a traitorous abnegation of our footprints. So put firm prints of your arrival. They move on with a deep sense of satiety on their young faces. Well, for the time being at least they have assiduously left a mark on their path.  

A little boy's romance with life

 Nevaan: ‘When I was small, I used to do like this.’ Me: ‘Oh, as if you are old now. You are still small.’ Nevaan: ‘Mama, don’t call me small!’ Me: ‘OK, you are old then.’ He brandishes his watergun and aims a squirt at me. It’s still cold enough to get scared of a watergun as if it’s a bulleted one. Me: ‘OK, you are still small.’ He is angry: ‘Don’t call me small!’ Me: ‘What do I call you then?’ Nevaan: ‘Call me young.’ Well youth has many takers. Even five-year-olds are its suitor now.

Nevaan: ‘Ma, please give me a gold coin! Just one!’ His mother is speechless under the weight of the demand. How I wish that gold was as light in our heads as it’s in the heart of a child—a mere plaything. There are infinitesimal shadows in the grown-up minds; mountains of the little molehills of substance. The physical faculties grow and they blindfold the innocent in us, splintering us from being ‘within’ and fall prey to the call of the faraway mirages. 

Little Nevaan’s truth: ‘Ma I’ve started telling lies.’ A child’s lies are better than grown-ups’ truth. Their incertitude far more sure-footed than any iron-hard logic of the elders tethered to the certitudes cemented as wisdom and experience. Their imprudence livelier than any discretion of the older bones.

Thanks to the extended two-year Covid-enforced sabbatical, he has developed a cute little paunch and chubby cheeks. The world came to a halt and tiny children got far more addicted to cartoon networks and mobile phones. So his mother, my younger sister, is worried about his chubbiness. He has come to his Mamaji’s place, yours truly, and we force him to play football with a very soft ball, just a bit heavier than an inflated balloon. He kicks unwillingly and walks off with a limp. The next day he remembers the sports injury. He takes a stick and gives a nice demonstration of limping walk. ‘It’s a big sprain I think,’ he declares complete rest. After half an hour I find him limping with the other leg. I pass on my observation to him. He is caught unawares about the information but then recovers well. ‘The problem Mamaji is that the pain keeps shifting from this leg to the other. It’s a strange game injury,’ he clarifies.

The other day we were trying to fit him into the school dress knickers at a shop at the town. Laziness puts you out of league with standard sizes. We try to convince him about the benefits of running and skipping. He isn’t much interested. He isn’t much bothered about the shower of advices poured by all including his wards, the shopkeeper and other parents at the shop. He is interested in a digital slate that catches his fancy on account of its red frame and electronic built. We buy it for him. But then it creates problems for him. His laziness has seeped into his writing as well. He writes very slowly. So his new toy is a headache for him as we ask him to practice writing on it. He but is more interested in making weird demon faces with my name under them. When the order to write is passed more sternly he sits over it very seriously. From a distance I can see that he is writing very cautiously. I go there to check his progress and this is what I see written very firmly: ‘I don’t want to write.’

A protesting march in Febbruary

 This is the third week of February. And here arrives the first windy day with a clear call of the summers. But I prefer to view it as spring. The spring is a brief flowering pause in the north Indian plains. The soil that was clumped tight, as if shivering under the cold elements, is awake now and yawns as dry leaves and dust sashay around as the harbingers of the upcoming summers. Hundreds of Asha workers are marching as a protest demonstration to the mini secretariat, the seat of district administration. They are clad in the colors of revolution—red. The flag is also red with sickle and hammer. They have a long-pending demand for regularization of service and better pay. The march is under the banner of a labor union called CITU. Capitalism has but gone too far for the lurching cart of socialism to catch up with. The sensibility of making money is very steadfast.

Protests like this are just a tardy effort to keep the ideology alive; a kind of consoler march. The ideology is structured too loftily to fit in the sundry world of mundane desires, profiteering and moneymaking. It seems like a funeral march of the penitents whose dream has been marred by the ideological theoreticians themselves. They dreamt too wittily and it turned into a parody. The intent to revolutionize being too eloquent; a semi-parodic act from the beginning, something as futile as marching with its own head on a pike.

They move gallantly, almost with militarist strains. But the seed of the ideology is indefensibly impractical. A contrariety that appropriates the basic needs to a dream within the dreams for a utopian state. A vainly verbose effort at leveling the crop to the same level where each stem is fighting for the sunlight to reach the highest height. The people laugh at the irksome, unsightly speed-bump on the expressway of economic progress. The administration hardly bothers about this type of gathering. But they are highly effective in blocking the narrow, congested road as they file past the bazaar.

Most of them are very poor women from the lowest rung of society. They have bemoaning souls. They hold their manifesto, hoping it will create ripples in the corridors of administration. But there is an air of disempowering atrophy around. They understand that their demands are already discarded, there being no impetus for the state machinery to inculcate their demands. Their cause is no pretty-faced mistress to impress the political lust of the politicians.